The Betty Experience: “I’m Not Ready”

Hi Guys!

From what we can tell Tulip's favorite activities are sleeping and following us around the house like a co-dependent shadow. If I ever decide to stop working from home, we'll probably have to get another dog to keep her company.

Since I’m going into the hospital tonight, in order to get induced tomorrow morning, I figured that I’d start liveblogging about it now, since I might not be able to later.

Right now, things are extremely calm. I’m writing this on the couch. My sister-in-law, Angela is reading a Charlaine Harris (True Blood) novel, and CH is surfing the web. Our new dog, Tulip is asleep on Angela’s lap.

Even my racing thoughts are for once blessedly quiet.

The plan was that I would do nothing all day but rest up for tonight and maybe read, but when it came time to do that, I found that I remain unable to just relax before big events.

I remember always feeling a little sleepy during childhood field trips b/c I couldn’t sleep the night before and it taking me forever to get to sleep the night before my wedding day. And since this is the eve of the biggest event of my life so far, no go on the sleep-o, but at least that means I’ll be able to update every hour or so.

Funny story, yesterday, I started having what I thought were contractions around 2pm. We called the doctor. We called Angela. We called Dan B., who will be watching Tulip while we are at the hospital. Well, CH called them. I did not remain calm. My mind instantly scattered, and one of the first things out of my mouth was, “I’m not ready!”

I still had to put FaN to bed for the next two weeks, and I had a ToDo iPhone app list that was like a mile long.

“We’re ready, we’re so ready,” CH assured me.

The contractions died down. Then got sporadic. Then disappeared entirely. I put FaN to be at around 11pm and checked off most of the things on my electronic ToDo list. Then I was up until 1am, playing the “What if this or that goes wrong?” game with myself.

It felt like I had been through and failed a fire drill. I hate fire drills. And I’ve never been very good at them. I’ve gotten in trouble for both sleeping through them and forgetting who my fire buddy was. During my last work fire drill, I unexpectedly ran into an old friend from Carnegie Mellon and we went to have breakfast at IHOP. It was yummy.

But I had pleasant dreams last night and woke up calm this morning. And I’m now definitely ready for the real thing.

At least I think I’m ready. But are you ever really ready-ready? We’ll see….

T – ~7 hours until I’m due at the hospital.