A Whole New Nerd [Single White Nerd]
On Friday night, I found myself in a sharing circle. Actually, it was a birthday party. We happened to be sitting in a circle and sharing. It was much more fun than it may sound. We had pizza.
At some point, the circle splintered into smaller groups. I talked to an artist for a while; we gabbed about nonprofits, art, all sorts of stuff. A few feet away, three guys and one girl talked about online dating. They shared a few horror stories, whipped out their cell phones that had a mobile dating app installed. Compared profiles, checked to see if anyone interesting was in the area.
As they talked, the three guys, in subtle and less subtle ways, vyed for the one girl’s attention. Subtle shifts in body position, laughing a little too loudly, invitations to future cultural events. She was attractive, can’t blame the guys. Anyway, I watched all this happening and realized at some point that I was happier talking about a van that doubles as a pinhole camera (awesome!) than about dating.
A year ago, I might have participated in the dating story-share. Hell, that was kind of my thing. I’d go to parties and people would be all, like, “Hey, Kass, tell us about that time you did that thing with that girl that involved the sex!” And I’d tell tales, sometimes a bit grotesque, about various misadventures, the lengths to which I may have gone to grab a few minutes of empty pleasure, moments of unexpected vulnerability in the midst of tawdry assignations. I’d cloak myself in these stories, assuming the identity of the weathered, bitter veteran of the Dating Wars, holding myself up as an example of singlehood in LA. Assuming that folks were looking for a shortish, bald example of said singlehood.
I even started writing a blog called Single White Nerd. You’re reading it right now.
If you’ve been reading this blogumn for any length of time, you may have realized that it’s been a while since I’ve written about being Single. This isn’t because I’ve run off and secretly coupled up, but because. . .it simply isn’t that interesting to me. There are only so many ways you can express hope, sadness, excitement, disappointment, seduction and so on before it all starts to feel a bit rote. And I’ve been spending the bulk of my time recently not really dwelling on being single; after 8+ years of mostly-singleness it’s more a semi-permanent condition than anything else and hardly worth noting.
Add to that the fact that Change is Afoot in a not-unstereotypical mid-life crisis sort of way (I mean, I spent yesterday in a half day meditation retreat. Jesus, Two-Years-Ago Me would laugh at Yesterday-Me and steal his wallet) and I’ve started to realize that this whole Single White Nerd moniker, while certainly accurate, doesn’t fit so well anymore. So the question I pose to you, my faithful reader (hi), is this: If we were to retitle this blog, what might we retitle it?
I’ve had some ideas.
Questing White Nerd: appealing in an Arthurian legend kind of way. Maybe I could do a photo shoot in chain mail!
Liminal White Nerd: the adventures of a nerd in between Here and There. It has an academic appeal, but also sounds maybe a bit dirtier than it should. Liminal. Say it out loud. Sounds kinky, no?
Nerd on a Wire: A precariously perched nerd, poised for flight, ever wary of the dangers inherent in having its feet on two adjacent wires at the same time(i.e. getting fried). Also reminiscent of the Mel Gibson movie featuring Goldie Hawn. Or the Goldie Hawn movie featuring Mel Gibson.
What do you think? Assuming the Fierce and Nerdy editorial staff approves a re-branding initiative, what should we call this thing?
I’ll wait here by the computer meditating and not surfing online dating sites while you think it over. Namaste, friendos.
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featured image credit: anirvan