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Are you ready to rumble? [Stay-at-Home Nerd]

A lot of people I know are wrestling with the decision whether to have kids or not.  Based on the responses to my last blogumn it seems there are many good reasons for each path.  However, the question I’m most asked is how did I know I was ready to have kids.  Every time someone asks me this question I laugh a little because I wasn’t ever ready to have kids.  I’m not ready now and I won’t be ready for the next one.  I don’t know what ready means.  The longer you wait to have kids the more “free” time you’ll have to focus on your career or your hobbies or yourself, but the longer you wait to have kids the less time you will have to be with them.  The younger you have them the more energy you’ll have and the older you have them the more wisdom you’ll have.  Those dualities will always exist, but they don’t help you decide if you are ready to have kids.  Fortunately, I have designed a quiz called the Are you ready to have kids? quiz which you can take below.

Are you ready to have kids?

  1. In your blu-ray player right now is…
    1. Physical media storage is dead, bro.  I stream everything.
    2. You mean DVD player, right?
    3. PIXAR short film collection.
    4. Oatmeal!

  2. The most expensive thing you own is…
    1. My drum set.
    2. My first new car.
    3. My house/condo
    4. My dreams (I can take them anywhere)

  3. Drinking wine is…
    1. For the ladies.
    2. Fun.
    3. How kids are made.
    4. Necessary.

  4. Your hobbies are…
    1. It’s not a hobby.  I just don’t get paid.
    2. Drinking wine.
    3. Watching the real estate market in order to trade up.
    4. I don’t remember.

  5. You see a baby and you…
    1. Punch it in the face accidentally sort of.
    2. Smile and coo.
    3. Want to hold it.
    4. Wonder what school it will go to.

  6. You see parents with a baby and you…
    1. Punch them in the face accidentally sort of.
    2. Ask how old it is.
    3. Compliment the parents and make the baby smile.
    4. Understand.

  7. The last book you read was…
    1. Books are dead.  I stream everything, bro.
    2. The one about the guy who stole the thing but didn’t really do it.
    3. The one by Dr. Spock.  No, not that Spock.
    4. Hippos Go Berserk

  8. The last movie you saw in the theater was…
    1. Streaming, bro.  What don’t you understand?
    2. Super 8.  I know a guy.
    3. Beginners.
    4. Unstoppable.  Don’t ask.  Oh, no wait.  Bridesmaids.

  9. The last movie you watched at home was…
    1. Does porn count?
    2. Au Revoir Les Enfants, but I can’t wait until Insignificance gets here.
    3. She’s Having a Baby.
    4. Salt.  But, I stopped after fifteen minutes and went to bed.

  10. Your idea of a vacation is…
    1. Beach, beer, babes.
    2. A week being pampered in a tropical paradise.
    3. A long weekend with friends or family.
    4. Fifteen minutes of quiet.

Bonus Question

  1. The last person you slept with was…
    1. Your friend’s girlfriend.
    2. Your ex.
    3. Your best friend.
    4. Your partner.


A= -5 points

B= 0 points

C= 5 points

D= 10 points

0-20 points: Congratulations!  You’re still a kid yourself and are in no way ready to care for another human being.

20-35 points: Life is hard, huh.  The good news is that you’re not ready to have kids and have time to work on your issues.

35-50 points: Turn off your computer.  Grab your sexy someone and do it already.

50-110 points: You already have kids, but you knew that already!