Ask Dr. Miro: Dildo Guide to Prevent Cobwebs [What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Hi Dr. Miro,

I’m in my early 30’s and have hit a dry spell where sexual activity is concerned. It’s been over a year since I last had sex and one of my gay male friends keeps warning me that I am getting cobwebs on my kitty. Oh those sassy gay friends! Lately I have been thinking about getting some sort of sex toy, a dildo actually. I have a clitoral stimulator, but I’ve always been more of a size queen, so it bores me. Do you have any economically reasonable recommendations on dildos?

Sincerely,
Spider Queen

Dear Spider Queen,

Although your sassy gay friend is not correct on the cobweb front, he does have a point. The Vulva, which includes your Labia Majora, Labia Minora (the outer and inner lips) and your vagina can atrophy if not properly tended to. As we age, just like gorgeous Prada heels, the “leather” of the human body needs to be oiled, polished and used. There is something to the saying, “Use it or lose it!”

With this in mind, you get why I am so happy you are looking into dildos! Any kind of insertables will help fight off your impending Spider Queen status. Even organic cucumbers are better than nothing so if you can’t afford new toys right now, go ahead and experiment with some sexy produce. It is unfortunate that high quality dildos, like most great sex toys, are rather pricey.  Look at them as an investment in a more joyful life, so the cost is a bit easier on your mind, body and wallet. If possible, I always find it best to explore toys in person, at a friendly sex shop like the chains, Good Vibrations or Babeland. These places are so much fun to explore: like going to a candy shop, except knowing all your buys will burn, instead of add, calories!

As far as recommendations, it really depends on what you are looking for. First, you will need to figure out if you want realistic or non-realistic. And, goodness, some of those realistic ones are really detailed! Then, you must decide if you want your new BFF to vibrate or not. Also, do you want curved, for G-Spot stimulation, or just straight up and down? After these important questions have been answered, you can move on to what material you want inside of you.

Are just you looking for a cheap thrill for experimentation before upgrading? Get a jelly dildo. Don’t be too scared by the strong plastic smell when first unwrapping, simply air your jelly pal out, before use. Keep in mind: the odor comes from plasticizing chemicals called phthalates, which give pool toys, shower curtains and cheap sex toys that smell and pliability, but may not be something you want to put in your body.

Maybe you want something super hard and capable of being put into a dishwasher for easy clean up? Invest in one of those gorgeous glass or stainless steel works of art. These are fun because you can heat or cool to different temperatures. I have been able to leave mine out on the table and guests have assumed my love wand to be some type of sculpture. Whether or not they considered sticking my great works of art into miscellaneous orifices is another matter.

Personally, what I think is best for heavy, regular, play are the silicone dildos. These friends come in all sorts of sizes, shapes, colors and purposes. In the getting what you pay for front, it is the best and lasts a long time. Also, if you have allergies to some materials you will be safe with silicone. Like steel and glass, silicone is non-porous. so to disinfect, put in the top of your dishwasher or boil about 6 minutes!

Helpful hint: Even when you are the only one playing with your dildo, use a condom on your toy; so clean up can be real quick. A girl on the go doesn’t always have time to be cleaning all her sex toys!

Lust and Happiness,

Dr. Miro

featured image credit: edgeplot