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Ask Dr. Miro: Where’s MY True Love? [What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I am a 44 year old woman who has never had a meaningful relationship. Every time I date someone new and I think they are different from the last they turn out to be just the same or worse. What gives?


Marie De J’Vous

Dear MDJ,

One of the keys to finding a meaningful relationship, that is not a carbon copy of your last, is to honestly take stock of the lessons that the last person in your life taught you. If you never examine what it is that YOU were trying to learn from YOUR history, there is no way you can move on. What did this person end up representing to you? We are experts on what we need, whether or not we listen to ourselves. Every human that comes into our life is there for A Reason. Figure out what the reason is. What unresolved issues are you playing out on the love-battleground? This is a pretty heavy thing to do, so give yourself time and patience as you unearth the deeper significance of your past dalliances.

After you do that, write out the qualities that you need in a mate. And I mean a thorough list! Everything from “Do our playlists match?” to “Will he be capable of tending to my needs when they arise?”  No items are too trite or major. It is your way of figuring out how to Dial-a-Partner, so to speak. If you do not pay attention to what you desire you will end up bringing in energies, in the form of lovers, with whom you will be not be happy.

When you have cleared space in your heart, psyche and soul, I bet you will be surprised by who, and what, enters your life.

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro