They Took My Job- Please Tell Me What to Do! [HorroR Stories] Jul24

They Took My Job- Please Tell Me What to Do! [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HR, I read with interest your answer a few weeks ago for someone who wanted to be laid off from their job. I have been laid off from my job and I absolutely did not want to be. I am in shock. I don’t know what to do now? Any advice? Don’t take my job—please Dear Please, Gosh, I’m sorry, and I mean that sincerely, I really do. I understand what it feels like to be suddenly separated from your job. Did you know that in some countries they call it being made “redundant?” How freaking insulting is that? I mean, it’s bad enough to lose your job, but then to have the added injury of being called redundant. It’s almost as if they are...

Why Those Evil HR People Keep Changing Your Benefits (Bonus: And Why They Hate You) [HorroR Stories] Jul11

Why Those Evil HR People Keep Changing Your Benefits (Bonus: And Why They Hate You) [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HR, I have a question about benefits. My company’s plan year began on July 1st and guess what? For the third year in a row they have switched our carrier again! Why do they keep doing that to us? To make matters worse, I had made a doctor’s appointment for this week with a pediatrician for my 2 young kids. It took me forever to get this appointment with this doctor at a time both me and my wife could go. Well, guess what again? I didn’t get my new insurance card in time for the appointment. When I called my HR Department to ask what to do, I literally heard the HR Manger in the background tell the person I was on the phone with...

How to Get a Job: 3 Reasons you’re not getting those entry-level positions you’re totally qualified for [HorroR Stories] Jun25

How to Get a Job: 3 Reasons you’re not getting those entry-level positions you’re totall...

Dear Madame HR, I am a recent college graduate (1 month!) and I’m having trouble finding a job. I’ve had a bunch of interviews and I’ve heard nothing. I majored in Psychology and decided not to go further in my education but instead work for a few years and see how I feel. I worked while going to school doing clerical work in the Admissions office, and had a few office type temp jobs on summer breaks, so it’s not that I have no experience. However, I send out dozens of resumes and get a few calls, but then those interviews that I do get go nowhere. Is it my major? Any tips? –Totally Employable Dear Employable, I’ve been writing this...

Take my Job–PLEASE! [HorroR Stories] Jun14

Take my Job–PLEASE! [HorroR Stories]

I have been at my company for 13 years. Things have been really bad lately and they just announced they are laying off 10% of employees by the end of the summer. They haven’t provided any other details. As I said, things have been bad, I am stressed, over worked and the whole thing is making me sick. I want to ask them to lay me off. Can I do that? Will I be denied unemployment if I do this? Should I just go on medical leave instead? Please help! –Get me out of here! Dear PLEASE, You might be surprised to hear, or maybe not, that I get this question, or a similar question, a lot. I’m guessing you are banking on two things in this...

It’s the End of the World as we Know it, but Thanks to Obamacare we’ll all Feel Fine [HorroR Stories] May30

It’s the End of the World as we Know it, but Thanks to Obamacare we’ll all Feel Fine [Ho...

I work part-time for a company and have been there for about six years. Recently, I was told by my manager that he was going to have to cut my hours because I had already worked 1,000 hours for the year and that makes me eligible for benefits. This made me stop and think that something is wrong. It doesn’t seem like I’ve worked more than usual, my schedule is pretty consistent, yet this is the first time this has come up. And, I’m not getting benefits, just my hours cut, but if I already hit the 1,000 hours mark then don’t they have to give me benefits? –I Need a Doctor   Dear Need, Short answer: probably. Let me start my long...

Mo’ Problems Getting Mo’ Money [Horror Stories] May16

Mo’ Problems Getting Mo’ Money [Horror Stories]

Any tips on how I can get a raise? The 2% they’ve been giving me every year is not enough. I was looking on salary.com and it says I should be making thousands more than I am. How do I get them to pay me what I’m worth? –I Deserve More Dear More, You’ve been getting 2% every year? Wow, lucky you! Since the economy exploded a few years ago, I think it would be difficult to find many people out there who have been getting steady increases every year. I think most who are employed are grateful to have a job and most who aren’t employed just really hate you right now. Here’s a universal truth for you: EVERY employee thinks they are...

Leave Your Damn Stupid Dog at Home (Please!) [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madam HR, I want to bring my dog to work, but my HR Department won’t let me. Why are they so mean? Dog Lover Yo Dog, Thanks Google—thanks for creating all these fun and friendly workplaces with all sorts of crazy perks like laundry machines and free food. Oh, and thanks too for telling...

What’s the Fun of Being Exempt if I Can’t Take Off in the ...

Dear Mme. HR, I have a chronic health condition which requires me to see doctors regularly during the day. My boss is totally unsympathetic and even though I’m supposed to be exempt, she’s trying to make me track all these appointments as sick hours. Do I have to do that? I thought being...

My Boss Snorts Cocaine in the Bathroom, Why Won’t They Fire Him?...

Dear Madame HR, I work for a small (about 50 employees) company that is an internet startup. The majority of our staff are phone sales reps, of which I am one, who report to “John” the VP of Sales. About a month ago, I walked into the men’s room and saw John, doing what looked an awful lot...

How to Train Your Crazy Employee (Hint: Buy Some Snausages) [HorroR St...

Dear Mme HR, I am a manager and I have about 10 people reporting to me. Most of my employees are great. I have one employee, though, who is really good at her job, but she is crazy. When I say “crazy” I mean that she is almost impossible to deal with. None of my other employees, or managers,...

The Very Curious Case of the Disappearing Secretary [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HR, I’ve worked part-time for the past 8 years for a non-profit organization. During that time, Cindy (not her real name), the secretary in the main office, was a great help to me in expediting a number of projects. Six weeks ago, I went into the office and found that Cindy...

Does My Co-Worker’s Weird Fascination with Guns Mean He’s ...

Dear Madame HR, I am friends on Facebook with a bunch of my co-workers. Lately, after the Newtown tragedy and the subsequent discussions regarding gun control, one of my co-workers has been posting a lot of pro-gun statements, photos of himself with his guns, and other pro-gun things that...

HR Has Made Me a Nerd: Fiscal Cliffs, Taylor Swift, Horatio Caine and ...

In this, my second post on how HR has warped my thinking and made me a nerd, I talk about cable television shows. For my first installment, how HR affects how I watch football, click here. I’m going to start this post with the following statement: You can judge me if you want. I mean, I know...

A Short(ish) HR Holiday Survival Guide! You’re Welcome. [HorroR ...

Ho! Ho! Ho my friends! Merry/Happy whatever-the-heck you like to celebrate this time of year. I’m in HR so I don’t care what you celebrate, I just have to accommodate it. Personally, in December I like to celebrate the joy I feel at how freaking cold the rest of the country is and how I can...

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Chimp Try to Run a Religious School…[Ho...

Dear Madame HR, I’m a 7th grade teacher in a faith-based school. Last June, our respected long-time principal retired. The Board of Trustees of the school hired a man I’ll call Dr. P as the new principal. So far, Dr. P has called the 5th grade teacher a “booby” because...

I Could Write a (Really Boring) Book about FMLA [HorroR Stories] [Book...

In honor of another Book Week at FaN, I will share with you Chapter 3 in my book entitled: FMLA, what the Fuck? Please buy it, please, please, please. I expect it to be on the shelves sometime in the next decade. There is nothing more confusing than leaves of absence. Ask anybody. In the...

Is your Eye Shadow Color Choice Holding you Back? Yes! [HorroR Stories...

Mme. HR, My manager called me into her office and told me that unless I started dressing nicer and wearing my hair and makeup in a more conservative style, then I wouldn’t get very far in this company. I am a good performer, probably the best in my department, and feel that whether or not I’m...

There are More Fuzzies in HR Than Just the Sweaters [HorroR Stories]

What the heck do you do in HR anyway? –Thinking of becoming a Madame HR Dear Thinking, Good question! I think everyone has a different idea of what goes on behind the super-secret door of the Human Resources Department. Unfortunately, I don’t really have an easy answer because what your...

HR has Made Me a Nerd: Watching the NFL and How Managers Suck [HorroR ...

Purely for my own amusement, and hopefully for yours, I have decided to have an occasional series here in HorroR Stories about how when you work in HR long enough it starts to affect how you view everything in life. Keep sending questions though! I will resume the usual Q&A next time. Now...

Training a Manager on Harassment Doesn’t Mean He’s Going t...

Dear Madame HR, My boss is constantly picking on me. In meetings he tells everyone about every mistake I make, big or small. He’s constantly yelling at me and telling me that I am incompetent and stupid. Most days I go home crying. I think this is harassment and he’s creating a hostile work...

Just Like Facebook, Going Public Could Cost You Big [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HR, Recently, in your FMLA post, you advised that the person send in baby pictures to their boss. This surprised me. I’m always worried about revealing too much personal information at work and to my co-workers. Isn’t it better to be cautious? -Prince Harry Dear Your Highness,...

Paternity Leave is No Joke [HorroR Stories]

Recently, in the comments for my post on the perils and ennui of FMLA, Ernessa requested that I address Paternity Leave, since my post was more focused on Maternity Leave. So, for Ernessa and all you men out there who are about to be fathers, maybe could someday be fathers, don’t want to be...

“My Boss is Crazy” is a Redundant Statement [HorroR Storie...

I picked this post as my “best of” because: 1. I didn’t have many to choose from as I’m a relatively new contributor here and 2. this is hands down the question people ask me more than anything (or a version of). It seems that having a crazy boss is like the common...

The HR Manager with the Dragon Tattoo [HorroR Stories - BOOK WEEK]

In honor of Book Week at F&N, I will be suspending my usual Q&A. Keep sending questions, you can post them in the comments or email them to: askhorror@gmail.com. And as always, confidentiality will be preserved. Now that’s out the way, so…Book Week, eh? I have to admit when they first...

There’s Nothing Funny about FMLA [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HR, I recently found out I’m pregnant and I’m terrified to tell my boss. Last year my co-worker had a baby and when she came back they transferred her to a crappy job where she files all day. I heard a rumor that they fired someone else when she was on maternity leave. I can’t...

You’re Not the Only One Your CEO is Screwing [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HorroR, I recently returned from a business trip to New York with the CEO of my company and a couple of other executives. One evening I entered the hotel bar where we were staying and saw the CEO at a table with a woman I know is a prostitute. I know this because she had...

Eat Your Damn HMO and Like It! [HorroR Stories]

Dear HorroR Stories, I hate my HR Department, they are so strict and I don’t understand why. I never got a dental insurance card and when I went to them to ask about it, they said I never signed up for dental insurance. And then they said I couldn’t just add it on, but I had to wait until the...

You are Probably Going to get Fired (Maybe) [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HorroR, Recently, my boss called me in to her office and gave me a counseling notice and said I had 10 days to improve my performance. Should I be worried? Am I going to get fired? – Called into the Principal’s office Dear Called, Yes… Probably… I don’t know. I’m doubtless...