Dear Dr. Miro, My boyfriend is a One Minute Man. He is also uncircumcised. Is there any connection or is he just crappy in bed? Frustrated in England Dear FiE, Quick answer: he is crappy in bed. There is no correlation between being uncircumcised and not lasting longer than a few minutes. If there was, entire countries would have sixty seconds as their Sexy Time average and that is simply not the case. There is no evidence proving Jewish men, for example, last longer than men from religions that do not include a covenant with a deity through the chopping off of foreskin. Of course, there is going to be a bit more sensitivity in the Member of one who still has his prepuce because extra skin means extra nerve endings. However, those additional tingles are relatively nominal. I am sure that circumcised men have quite enough sensitivity to make sexual experiences involving their Joysticks extremely enjoyable. Regardless of how tiny, it is a shame that any nerve endings, particularly those having to do with sexual pleasure, may be removed from babies, but in many cultures, it is a tradition that has been in place way before I was asked my opinion. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro featured image credit:...

Dear Dr. Miro, I can’t figure out why I have yeast infections, lately. I think I’m eating right and I’m not messing around with a bunch of dirty boys like usual. I’ve been using my Rabbit a lot but seriously, that can’t cause yeast problems, can it? Sincerely, Itchy Bread Factory in My Pants Dear IBFIMP, Yeast infections, or the Candida fungus, can happen from a change in the delicate balance that needs to be maintained inside of you. There are many reasons behind them. Too much acidity or ph, can result in your body taking over in a yeast infection. Your body is trying to heal itself! Candida can be a result of things like too much sugar, not wearing panties that let your Lady Bits breathe, stress, using scented “sanitary” products, harsh laundry chemicals, staying in a wet bathing suit all day or douching. Sometimes the itching and discharge will occur due to antibiotics because these medicines work on the principle of killing bacteria and a lot of the flora and fauna you need, to maintain a healthy Vag, can end up taking the hit. Many women develop Candida each month prior to their periods as a result of pesky hormonal changes (and the stress and eating habits that ensue). These annoying Yeast Infections may also be triggered by putting something inside you that is not clean, such as the Dirty Boys you referenced, or, insufficiently cleaned toys. If you are using your Rabbit a lot, how have you been about cleanings between your heated Self Pleasuring sessions? Even if what is on your Special Bunny is from you, you still MUST clean it thoroughly with warm water and a non-allergenic soap like baby shampoo. Wipes are not enough. If you do...

Dear Dr. Miro, I have decided that this Spring I shall have my lesbian experience. It just seems like something I should do. Suggestions? Sincerely, Cara Pitt Munche Dear CPM, Your question is more of a Michael Scott Declaration. Simply replace Bankruptcy with LESBIAN Experience.  Let’s consider why you think this is something you should do. Really, if you are attracted to ladies, just woman up about it. If you are doing this to turn on a boyfriend, understand how offensive it is to folks who actually have desire towards members of their same gender. Do you think sex with women will make your eyes pop, like wearing more purple? It is a possibility. Is this like a New Year’s resolution to take better care of your feet? In that case, perhaps you should embark on a quest for better hygiene, health and pleasure! Whatever your brain may be spinning around about, please enjoy yourself and be safe. Romancing a Sapphic Sweetie may be exciting, uncharted territory you are drawn towards, like bungee jumping or Full Moon Kayaking with crocodiles and, like these adventures, there are precautions. All I ask of you in your Girls Gone Wild biblical exploit(s) is to keep the following advice in mind: Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself while asking what your Special Lady Friend actually wishes to have done. It is not always what you may think or what you want.  So yes. As always, keep the communication way open. Let your Lovely Lass know the situation up front, so nobody gets hurt against her volition. Hopefully, this is not merely an item to be checked off a list like buying toothpaste or changing health insurance. Allow your exploration through the Isle of Lesbos...

Dear Dr. Miro, I think my boyfriend wants me to give it to him up his pooper. Does that make him gay or just a freak? This kind of grosses me out but mainly I’m confused. I think he should be happy just putting his wiener inside me since he claims to like women. Sincerely, Y. Anna Ew Dear YAE, Wanting to have something inserted in one’s bottom cavity does not necessarily equate gayness. If a man wants a woman to penetrate him he wants a woman. If he wants a man then, maybe he is gay. It is a hard thing to define when I do not have much information about you and he other than you seem really opinionated regarding topics you know nothing about. Essentially, you are telling me, “I do not understand this. Therefore I think it is weird and gross.” What exactly do you believe he wants you to give him? A fist? Roses? Eggs Benedict? If you were not so closed-minded, YAE, I would congratulate you on finding a man who is willing to experiment and try new things! I would tell you how lucky you are to have found a fellow who is willing to let go of society’s preconceived notions of what REAL men and women do in the bedroom. Instead, I will just explain what may be going on. I am going to go out on a limb and assume your beau has referred to a desire to be Pegged. Thanks to Dan Savage and his readers back in 2001, pegging became the “official” term for a sex act in which a woman wearing a strap on dildo anally penetrates her male partner. Some may ask, why would a straight man want this?  Well, there...

Dear Dr. Miro, I am with a man who pleases me so much in EVERY way. The only thing is, well, the size of his thing. He is way sensitive about it and has asked if he is big enough for me, and all that. He even asks if most of my past boyfriends were bigger than him! I want him to shut up about it but don’t really know what to say. Any suggestions? Sincerely, Former Size Queen Dear FSQ, The best thing to say in these situations, especially when you do not want to lie is, “Baby, you are hung like a big sexy gorilla! Now shut up and get back to pleasing me like only YOU know how!” The fabulous part of this response is that the average size of an erect gorilla’s penis is 1.25 inches long. Needless to say, he does not need to know this information and unless he has spent considerable time observing Silverbacks, it will definitely ease his fears of inadequacy and enable him to feel like the incredible, sexual, manly primate, you need him to be Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro featured image credit:...

Dear Dr. Miro, My new apartment is right above my landlord’s and noise travels through the shoddy wooden floors way too clearly. I am nervous about using my vibrator or having any Gentlemen Callers over for fear of the sounds traveling into The Man’s ears. What are my options? Sincerely, Anita Makesum Noise Dear AMN, Ah, yes: the joys of apartment dwelling! First of all, put down carpets. And I mean everywhere. Go ahead, layer those plush babies! Get material you like the color of, from a fabric supply store, and instead of painting the walls, tack the pretty sound absorbers up. These two moves will definitely cut down on the echoes of your Pants-less Parties. You can also hang clothes and hats up to deflect on the bouncing of sound. Another thing to do is to play music or TV so that the sounds get mixed together and it is not that obvious. However, the effect, if not carried out correctly, can be similar to the 14 year old boy who thinks room spray will cover the smell of cigarettes when in fact it, it makes his room smell like the spray and his off-limits cigarettes! Second, you are just going to have to accept that he may hear you. I know it can be embarrassing but seriously, we are sexual creatures and it is something every one in your building must accept. Some vibrators are quieter than others and you will need to investigate which one has both the desired results while being the quietest. Unfortunately, the Hitachi is going to rumble while getting the job done and a Pocket Rocket may not satisfy, though it is definitely stealthier. As far as Gentleman Callers, go to their pads for your first romps...

Dear Dr. Miro, My boyfriend tells me he read an article that says sex can make you smarter and he could assist me in benefiting from this scientific fact. I think he is calling me stupid while pressuring me to be more sexual. Is he full of crap? Sincerely, Blonde and Pressured Dear BAP, In answer to your actual questions: yes. Your oily beau hunk is indeed calling you stupid, and pressuring you to have sex with him via wonky pseudoscientific data. As for being full of crap? He probably is most of the time but on this issue, he actually has a few facts behind him. I believe he is referring to a study done on rats at Princeton’s Psychology Department by Leuner, Glasper, and Gould. But remember: rat sex and human sex is a little different, to say the least. The thing is, during human sexual interludes a few things happen that can stimulate brain growth. Keep in mind that some of this stuff, like absorbing Vitamin D, getting exercise and having an intimate conversation with your significant other, could happen just from taking a thirty-minute walk together in the sunshine. What most likely will not happen on your walk is orgasm (although it depends on the walk)! During orgasm your body increases its levels of oxytocin and dopamine. Oxytocin is a hormone that creates all those fuzzy, loving yummy feelings and dopamine is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel super happy and, well, a little dopey but in a good way. In fact, both give you a pretty good high. As a result, sex tends to decrease anxiety, as it is pretty hard to feel stressed out and tense with a bunch of dopamine and oxytocin flowing strong through your body....

Dear Dr. Miro, I LOVE to travel. My boyfriend can never go. He makes me feel bad whenever I want to go away. Then I get resentful of being stuck to his schedule and bank account. He accuses me of cheating on him when I do go away so the whole thing becomes really annoying. I’d love to do phone sex and video chats but I get really embarrassed and don’t know how to bring it up and he never mentions it. Plus it’s kind of hard to feel sexy when you are getting accused of being unfaithful – especially when you aren’t! I want a healthy balance, but how? Sincerely, Frustrated in Paradise Dear FIP, The easy answer is to dump him and move on. Find a man who can travel, trust and grow with you. Forget about this pettiness and enjoy life! But real life is not filled with easy answers. Things get much messier when you are an actual human and not merely a question in an advice column. These are much deeper issues than your boyfriend not traveling with you. There is that whole lack of faith thing, involving accusations, insecurities and inappropriate lashing out. Remember, no one is “making” you feel bad. You are allowing this behavior to continue, as well as these moods. If he is attacking you about indiscretions that do not exist, instead of getting defensive, take a deep breath and ask him where these feelings are coming from. Tell your BF that you understand how he may feel these things but reassure him that this is his mind running wild. It is NOT your reality. I have a feeling he is more upset by his inability to join you on your escapades – which in...

Dear Dr. Miro, I am a 44 year old woman who has never had a meaningful relationship. Every time I date someone new and I think they are different from the last they turn out to be just the same or worse. What gives? Confused, Marie De J’Vous Dear MDJ, One of the keys to finding a meaningful relationship, that is not a carbon copy of your last, is to honestly take stock of the lessons that the last person in your life taught you. If you never examine what it is that YOU were trying to learn from YOUR history, there is no way you can move on. What did this person end up representing to you? We are experts on what we need, whether or not we listen to ourselves. Every human that comes into our life is there for A Reason. Figure out what the reason is. What unresolved issues are you playing out on the love-battleground? This is a pretty heavy thing to do, so give yourself time and patience as you unearth the deeper significance of your past dalliances. After you do that, write out the qualities that you need in a mate. And I mean a thorough list! Everything from “Do our playlists match?” to “Will he be capable of tending to my needs when they arise?”  No items are too trite or major. It is your way of figuring out how to Dial-a-Partner, so to speak. If you do not pay attention to what you desire you will end up bringing in energies, in the form of lovers, with whom you will be not be happy. When you have cleared space in your heart, psyche and soul, I bet you will be surprised by who, and what,...

Dear Dr. Miro, I read my boyfriend’s emails and found a lot of very sexually suggestive correspondences between him and other women. I confronted him about them and he denied that anything happened. He seems to think I should just get over it but I can’t seem to. I can’t figure out what I did to drive him to this and feel so bad about reading his private emails but still! What do I do? I love him so much but I’m so angry and hurt. Sincerely, Snoopy Shatters Dear SS, What an immensely difficult situation to find yourself in! I feel for you in that I know your trust is going to be absent for a while, if not forever. And, when you cannot trust your man, what is left in your relationship? Let us pretend he did not have anything more than these flirtatious indiscretions, like he claims. If that is the case, he has still been unfaithful to you emotionally, which is more than most couples can survive. Unfortunately these situations are pretty common in the age of email. We are so far beyond the simple lipstick on the collar days. Since I do not know anything more than what you have told me I will not tell you what to do other than to take stock of your relationship and your self. Understand it is NOT your fault that he has behaved badly. OK, yes – you read his emails. And, yes – that is a breach of privacy and trust, but perhaps you did so as a result of your intuition telling you there was something happening you should know about. Of course you are hurt and angry. The man you love has betrayed you! Allow yourself to feel...

Dear Dr. Miro, If I use bananas or veggies to masturbate with, does it matter if they are organic? From, Miss Chiquita Dear MC, Here is a good rule of thumb: never insert anything into yourself that you would not put in your mouth. Yes, different things comes out of different orifices but seriously, you know what your body needs better than anybody else. Helpful Hint: If you are concerned about the quality of your edible Jill-Off materials, use a condom! Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro featured image credit:...

Dear Dr. Miro, In order for me to get an orgasm – or even be close to getting an orgasm – I have to think about having a threesome with my long-term boyfriend all of the time, otherwise, nothing happens. Is this really bad? It would be nice to come with just who’s there (meaning my boyfriend), and not some extra imaginary dude. Sincerely, Toosie Nuff Dear TN, Fantasies are great! There is nothing wrong with having a make-believe threesome incorporated into your sexual repertoire. I do think there is a lot to the phrase “whatever works”. If you are having orgasms and enjoying your sexual escapades, both real and imagined, who is to judge what is “bad”? Is it possible for you to mention this imaginary Ménage a Trois to your beau? You do not have to tell him the part about not being able to orgasm without it but if this is a fellow you want to be having sexual explosions with for years to come, he should have some clue as to what does it for you. You could even ask him about what HE fantasizes about. Perhaps you two will be able to meld some of them together! Lust & Happiness, Dr....

Dear Dr. Miro, Is there a “special” spot for men on the penis that is more sensitive than other parts? Also, how do you know how rough your man wants his junk handled? Sincerely, Kenya Makett Goodner Dear KMG, There are so many spots on the penis that can be considered “special” but what you are probably looking for are those “OOH RIGHT THERE!” places. I suggest gentle licks around the coronal ridge and to make sure you pay attention to the frenulum. Always remember lots of saliva and lube. Everyone likes different pressures (on all their body parts) so start out soft and work your way up the pressure circuits. It should be pretty obvious what he is liking and when he wants more. You can even ask him things like, “You like how I do this?” Or, “You want it harder, Big Guy?” You get the picture. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro featured image photo credit: Bennett 4...

Dear Dr. Miro, My girlfriend is going to Europe on business for THREE MONTHS and I am freaking out. I want to do something really special for her before she leaves and wonder what I should do. I love her so much, but am nervous she won’t remember everything we’ve had together, these past five years, while she is out of the country. There is no way I can afford to go visit her and this is a long time. Please help! Sincerely, Future Lonely Guy Dear FLG, Separation is always difficult, but if you are planning on spending a long time with this person, three months is really nothing in the scheme of things. Sounds like you should plan a lovely evening with your True Love in which you give her items to remember you by. This can involve a special pair of panties that will remind her of you each time she dons them, a favorite meal and perhaps a mixed CD of music that will make your girlfriend absolutely melt in thoughts about you every time she plays it. The second thing that comes to mind is how you two need to get on the Skype wagon so that you can have video chats with each other. Maintaining that real time eye contact is crucial in any long-term arrangement. A good step to take is to order one of those make your own dildo molds: http://www.makeyourowndildo.com/. One evening before your Sexy Jetsetter leaves, tell her you have an arts and crafts project with which you need her assistance. Then she can actually take your Hard Member to Europe! This should be a lot of fun. She will be able to think of you and all the sexy times you have had...

Dear Dr. Miro, How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm? Sincerely, Juana Gnogh Dear JG, Ah, wondering whether you have experienced La Petit Mort, or the Little Death, as the French call it, eh? To those who have had the privilege of coming, either once, or on a regular basis, it sounds a bit like a joke. Q: How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm? A: Your upstairs neighbor gives you a high five the next morning. Q: How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm? A: The reception on your TV is suddenly wonky, and your cat won’t make eye contact anymore. All joking aside, orgasms are a very important part of all our sexualities and something that I hope everyone will be able to experience throughout their life. The problem with answering you is that, if you have had one, you would probably know.  There really is no other sensation like it, and it comes with an explosion and a sense of completion, even if you go for seconds, thirds or fourths. Some people will liken it to feeling a sneeze coming on but way more intense. Everybody’s experience is different and it’s like trying to describe the color blue. When you are in that massively juicy aroused state, you will start to feel increasing pressure, get short of breath, start to tense, your pulse will be out of control and sometimes, you may feel like you are about to fall off a cliff (but in a good way). And then, as your toes curl and you think you cannot take anymore, time stands still as you feel a bursting, throbbing, release: a sense of ahhh…  You are washed over with a whelming sense of resolution, transcendence,...

Dear Dr. Miro, I recently had an intimate encounter in which my partner’s penis was, well, odd.  I mean the size was fine, the curvature was a little more to one side (which is fine), but there seemed to be something… off about it.  Like, instead of a regular helmet shape, it was more of a beanie shape and the urethra opening is off-centered, almost teardrop shaped.  He is circumcised. The only thing I could think of was that perhaps there was a mishap as an infant? I didn’t want to be all, ‘what’s wrong with your Johnson?’ because, quite frankly, that’s rude and insensitive.  But I’m also totally curious.  Is this something I could politely bring up or should I just keep my trap shut? Sincerely, Curious Lee Dear CL, I love how our genitalia are like snowflakes – truly no two are the same! You are right. It is extremely rude to demand, “What’s wrong with your Ding-a-Ling?!” Things can definitely be re-phrased. Instead of focusing on the negative, re-frame your out loud curiosity from, “Why are you such a freak?” to “I just think you have the best Divining Rod!” Perhaps you could ask how he got to have such a unique Love Scepter. The next time you are handling his penis, look at it fondly, like a valuable rare gem you have always dreamed of  and say something like, “I can’t believe how gorgeous your Big Member is! The way the opening is tear shaped is so incredibly sexy and the head’s shape: so perfect!!!” Something along those lines opens the floor for him to say something. More than likely, he is already very self-conscious about his unique shape. When you put out your adoration and fondness (real or acted)...

Dear Dr. Miro, I’ve always wanted to get off with someone (besides myself) in the library. How can I get my boyfriend to do this? I am totally up for returning the favor but he’s really shy. All those shelves of books with everyone being so serious and having to be quiet and studious and, well, wow – I’m getting turned on just thinking about it!! Sincerely, Horny Book Worm Dear HBW, The library is quite a sexy place! It is hard to imagine that your boyfriend would not be up for pleasuring you amongst the bookshelves with promises of reciprocity, but since he is not, you will need to start slowly.  Here are some steps for getting him into your “Micro Fiche”. First, get him to come with you to your favorite section and then have a juicy make out session. See how that goes over. Ever so gently take his hand and put it between your legs. Again, check his comfort levels – I bet he will be getting pretty steamy. You can always back off a little bit by stepping away and getting a book, play hard to get even if he does not realize where this is going. Grab an erotic sexuality text or perhaps a tome so dry that all you really can do is think amorous thoughts through your boredom. If you are in the atlas section you may have access to maps that can create a bit of privacy.  Whisper in his ear a few of the filthy things you want to do to him. Of course, you will have to judge how far to take this. Kiss and rub some more. You get the idea – it is certainly not as difficult as the Dewey Decimal...

Dear Dr. Miro, My boyfriend keeps referring to something called “sploshing.” He says that with Thanksgiving coming we should take advantage of all the stuffing and cranberry sauces that are bound to be left over. What is sploshing, and should I be concerned? Respectfully, Very Nervous Dear VN, Sploshing is a Wet And Messy (WAM) fetish involving a lot of liquid and viscous substances like whipped cream, jelly, jell-o, gooey cakes and sometimes non-food, like mud, smeared, poured and slimed all over a body. This body can be naked or clothed; really it is up to the Splosher. A WAM fetish does not involve bodily fluids like poop or pee. Like I said, it involves mainly edible items. The British magazine, SPLOSH, has been around for at least twenty years and made the term more mainstream although it is now only in website format. Those silly Brits! Whether or not you should be concerned has to do with your comfort levels in regards to having your body covered in a fluidic mess. Since it definitely sounds like your man wants to rub turkey stuffing and cranberries all over you, I think you need to decide if you are comfortable with experimenting in having your body coated in ooze. This can be very fun, exciting and sensual, if all participants are into it. The idea being that a passionate appetite for food goes hand in hand with sex. Many Sploshers like to cover each other in goo, licking and eating it off each other. This can be extreme foreplay leading up to sexual intercourse and for others: sploshing is the main event. Although it may be difficult to explain to Grandma when she walks in wanting leftovers, I am positive you can have a lot...

Dear Dr. Miro, I have no desire to have sex with anyone. I’m actually pretty happy with the way I am with no sexual urges or fantasies and feel like I have always been this way.  I get told by my friends, “This is impossible!” and “You must be in denial.” I have looked up stuff online and have found things on Hypoactive Sexual Desire but that doesn’t seem right, either because these people talk about wanting to have sexual desire or having had it in the past and I really could care less. I have a Hitachi that I use occasionally to relieve stress and it helps me fall asleep. When I use it, I don’t fantasize about anything: I just clear my head. Again, my friends tell me this is crazy: that everyone has fantasies. I just don’t. I really don’t! The other thing is that I’ve never been attracted to males or females and that seems to confuse people, too. Sometimes I have crushes but don’t want to go further than getting to know the folks I’m crushing on. I get told that I must be turned on by someone or something and that I must be gay and just not able to admit it? This is kind of offensive to me because even my closest friends don’t respect what I say or believe me. I guess my problem is more that everyone says I am a freak with a major problem, so I need to find out why that is. Am I really as screwed up as my friends say, or is this ok? Sincerely, Unfreaky Freak Marie Dear UFM, First and foremost, I believe that if you do not think you have an issue or it is not creating...

Dear Dr. Miro, My girlfriend won’t kiss me. Eight years ago, when we first started dating, we were all over each other and now all she wants is for me to go down on her with a dildo, sometimes. She just barely touches me and this is making me way upset and it’s also making me feel ugly. What should I do? How can I get her to notice me? I’ve been told that this is called Lesbian Death Bed but I thought we were better than that. Sincerely, Desperately Wanting Dear DW, Kissing is SO important in a relationship. That is one of those things that can make or break a couple. If someone is not a “good kisser,” it is often cited as reason enough to not pursue a relationship in the first place. First, make sure your breath is fresh. Are you brushing after meals? Use mouthwash before approaching her in a sexual manner. It could be something as simple as oral hygiene. Make sure you go to the dentist so that a cavity is not the culprit for this distance or lack of desire. Now, if that isn’t the case, and she is just being selfish and distant, let her know that you need more than going down on her to feel good about your relationship. Tell her that you miss her touch: that you CRAVE her caresses. Attempt an honest dialogue about what YOU need to make this relationship successful. Find out what is preventing mutuality in your bedroom. Of course you are feeling ugly and upset! The woman with whom you are sharing the most intimate parts of your life is not there for you to reinforce your most delicate issues. Understand that it is not you who...

Dear Dr. Miro, About 7 months ago, my ex-boyfriend told me I gave him genital warts. When I went to get tested, I was told that I did not have any warty craziness. Every time I hear anything mentioned about STDs, I get frightened. I have taken so many tests at clinics and they always come back negative for everything. Yeast infections are pretty frequent in my life (every other month) and I always right away think I’ve contracted some horrible thing. I use protection and all. Is it possible the results are wrong? I’ve taken the tests in two different locations between 4-7 times a year for the past 6 years.  And, on a road trip, five years ago, I got real sick with fevers and blisters and I don’t know how I would’ve gotten these on my mouth. Could I have Herpes? I am constantly paranoid that I have contracted a venereal disease and now that my ex has told all these people I’m super humiliated, embarrassed and scared to be with anyone. Aaack, Freaked Out Fanny Dear FOF, First, take a big, deep, peaceful breath with me: Inhale – Inhale – Inhale – Inhale (hold). Exhale – Exhale – Exhale – Exhale. Wow. I felt anxious just reading your letter so I can’t imagine how wound up you must be over all this. That’s a lot of tests. Your Ex sounds like a loud mouth idiot that needs to figure out where he has been dangling his junk because you are OBVIOUSLY not the source of his Genital Warts, or Human Papilloma Virus. He is lashing out at your insecurities in the hopes that you will not stand up for yourself. This nonsense needs to stop right now. How crappy to...

Dear Dr. Miro, I want to get into some role-playing with my girlfriend but don’t know how to start. Am I a creep for wanting to see her dressed like a schoolgirl or stewardess? I don’t want her to think I’m not into her out of costume because I am, but I just want a little something different once in a while.  How do I do this? Sincerely, Guy Cree P. Dear GCP, What perfect timing. Halloween is approaching and you know what that means? It’s the time of year when most women can be convinced to dress up as Sexy Anything! You name it: Sexy Doctor, Sexy School Girl, Sexy Zombie… Right now, there are tons of costume supply stores just waiting for you to come in and BUY, BUY, and BUY as many sexy outfits as your credit allows. Take charge and figure out fun places to party this weekend so you have an excuse to buy some costumes. Go ahead, take your lady shopping for Halloween sluttiness (do NOT forget the wigs or heels) and then reap the benefits all year round. Really get into character while playing your new personas throughout the week. If you buy her the Naughty School Girl get-up, figure out your Strict Teacher look. Just think of all the disciplinary implements you can carry in your briefcase. A Slutty Flight Attendant requires a Demanding Pilot or a Willing Passenger and, we all know a tramp like Little Red Riding Hood needs her Big Bad Wolf. The fantasies to choose from are endless! Have fun with this and see where it takes you. Hey, you might be a creep, but certainly NOT for wanting to have a little bit of fun with your girlfriend. In fact, I...

Dear Dr. Miro, I am totally straight but for the past few months, I have been fantasizing about being with women. I mean, REALLY being with another woman.  ANY woman!  All women! I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have some hot chick completely ravish me and then ME making her cum over and over. I have been in a great relationship with a man for five years and love him very much but after seeing this porn that had two ridiculously sexy women in it, that’s all I think about (except with me as the star). Any female I see turns me crazy excited: in line at the grocery store, driving my car, even old ladies crossing the street make me all wet. I mentioned it to my boyfriend and he just thought I was trying to turn him on, but I don’t know. What’s wrong with me? Sincerely, Juana Vulva (all over me) Dear JV, I love when someone starts off with: “I’m totally straight but…” What does that even mean? Humans are sexual creatures. Hardly any of us are completely this or that. Alfred Kinsey brought into our consciousness the concept of sexuality being fluid. It’s a gray area — not black or white. Many folks who identify as heterosexual have fantasies about the same sex just as many homosexuals think sexy thoughts about the opposite sex. Fantasies are incredible things! Remember: you can think about anything you want and so far, there is no Thought Police to stop you. In fact, fantasies are the healthiest sexual outlet we humans have! You can go as far as you want, with whatever and whomever you desire, however you desire, and no one gets hurt. You cannot contract any...

Dear Dr. Miro, My boyfriend has been hinting about wanting to know how many people I’ve slept with. Should I share my special number? I’ve had my share of sex partners and I’m worried that he may think I’m slutty. In fact, I don’t really even know how many folks I’ve had. Then, I wonder if I should ask him about his past but I don’t really know what to do with what he might tell me. I think I’m more experienced than him but I’m just really confused about this. HELP! Lotta Notches Dear LN, I never understand why people want to give the negative spirals in their head more rope in which to get tangled. Sharing your “special number” is NOT a good idea, or even necessary, for a successful relationship. It can only cause problems. As far as what a person’s sex count may mean to your relationship is truly what you do with that number. Hopefully, with each new encounter, a person learns a little more about her or himself: what he or she likes and dislikes as well as how to better please a lover. However, some use this number as mere notches on a belt to make them feel better about other things that may be lacking in their life. There are times when quantity makes up for quality but not that often. You should find out why your beau is so concerned about how many partners you’ve had. Why does it matter? What in the world does he want to do with your specific sex number? You can tell him to rest assured that whatever the exact numeral may be, it has made you the sexual creature that he is so into. Perhaps he needs reassurance that...

Dear Dr. Miro, If a woman uses a vibrator regularly, does it make it harder for a man to give her an orgasm? All I have is my penis. I am concerned that may not be enough for my new special lady friend. Sincerely, Richard “Ol’ Fashioned” Johnson Dear Dick, First off, I don’t mean to make assumptions because it may well be that all you have is your penis, but I believe you may have quite a few other parts that will help bring this new friend to orgasm. What about the strongest muscle in your entire body: the tongue?  There are also your fingers and PLEASE let us not forget all those sexy things you can say to her to get this woman in a passionate frenzy. As to your main query, the answer isn’t as simple as you think. On one hand, her lovely lady parts may not be as sensitive to the touch as say, an un-vibrated Vulva.  This could make it more difficult to reach orgasm for a lass who has been working it out IF you are depending purely on friction. However, a woman who is pleasuring herself on a regular basis is going to know what turns her on, off and over. How ideal in a lover! She is not going to expect you to just automatically know what to do in this unchartered territory of HER. She knows her body and will be able to guide you through: straight to that magical spot that she has already discovered! Don’t let yourself get too anxious about being enough for Ms. Sexy. Just go with the moment and enjoy. Remember,  just like you know what feels good for YOU, she knows what feels good for her. Remember to...

Hi Dr. Miro, I’m in my early 30’s and have hit a dry spell where sexual activity is concerned. It’s been over a year since I last had sex and one of my gay male friends keeps warning me that I am getting cobwebs on my kitty. Oh those sassy gay friends! Lately I have been thinking about getting some sort of sex toy, a dildo actually. I have a clitoral stimulator, but I’ve always been more of a size queen, so it bores me. Do you have any economically reasonable recommendations on dildos? Sincerely, Spider Queen Dear Spider Queen, Although your sassy gay friend is not correct on the cobweb front, he does have a point. The Vulva, which includes your Labia Majora, Labia Minora (the outer and inner lips) and your vagina can atrophy if not properly tended to. As we age, just like gorgeous Prada heels, the “leather” of the human body needs to be oiled, polished and used. There is something to the saying, “Use it or lose it!” With this in mind, you get why I am so happy you are looking into dildos! Any kind of insertables will help fight off your impending Spider Queen status. Even organic cucumbers are better than nothing so if you can’t afford new toys right now, go ahead and experiment with some sexy produce. It is unfortunate that high quality dildos, like most great sex toys, are rather pricey.  Look at them as an investment in a more joyful life, so the cost is a bit easier on your mind, body and wallet. If possible, I always find it best to explore toys in person, at a friendly sex shop like the chains, Good Vibrations or Babeland. These places are so much...

Dear Dr. Miro, Sometimes after vigorous sex (involving mega g-spot stimulation) I experience painful urination the next day.  The first time it happened I thought I was getting a urinary tract infection and drank a bunch of cranberry juice but then it got better after a day or two.  Would this be due to some type of bruising? Something else entirely?  It doesn’t happen all the time, just sometimes… Thanks, Cruising For A Bruising Dear C4AB, You got it, kid. Sounds like it’s just bruising. Nothing to be worried about because after putting yourself through any rigorous activity, whether it’s a giant poo, vigorous sex or too many push ups, there is going to be some residual bodily reminder. Give your body a chance to recover. However, it could be the beginning of a urinary tract infection brought on by the intense sexual activity. You may simply be catching and flushing it in time. FYI: it is better to take cranberry supplements with tons of water because the sugar content in ANY fruit juice can be antithetical to the cleansing process when drunk in massive quantities. I have the biggest smile on my face knowing you are engaged in such energetic, G-Spot stimulating sex. Hopefully, it’s as fun, as it is intensive!! Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Have questions of your own? You can send yours anonymously to Dr. Miro HERE. featured image credit: Darwin...

Dear Dr. Miro, I had just started seeing somebody I like A LOT, when I went back home to visit mi familia. One night, I had sex with a friend while her husband watched. It was really hot but now that I’m back, he’s sending me inappropriate texts that are making me muy uncomfortable.  It gets me really excited thinking about all of the crazy things we did but only when I think of it as a one-time thing. I can’t believe what I got myself into! How do I handle this situation? I want to maintain our friendship AND I really want to make my new relationship work. Bashfully, Scarlett O’Shamed Dear S O’S, It is important to respect our friends and lovers enough to trust they can handle the truth. Approach this situation with a positive outlook; believe your friend and her husband will share your wishes. Since her friendship is important to you, clearly explain your perspective. Let your amiga know how great everything was about that night. Tell her how amazing SHE is. Make sure your friend knows how truly turned on you were, and that just thinking about your liaison gets you all worked up. Go ahead and say you don’t want stuff between you to get awkward.  More than likely, she will be thinking the same thing. You can even incorporate the fact that the encounter was especially juicy because you knew it was a once in a lifetime event! Firmly state how it is going to be, now that you are home and excited to try out your new relationship. Remind her of the import her friendship has in your life and how much your intimacy means. Do not engage with the husband. That means, NO replying...

. a monthly blogumn by Dr. Miro Gudelsky Hello FaN readers. I am so excited to be here. What a privilege to join such an elite group of folks! As a Manhattan-based sex therapist, I thought it would be fun to share some of the adventures I stumble into. This month, I participated in Susan Shapiro’s Speed Shrinking for Charity Event. Wait, back up. Speed Shrinking? Well, you’ve heard of Speed Dating, right? Same concept except with a bunch of “shrinks” and a LONG line of people who want fast and furious increments of therapy. It’s set up with a bunch of seated, therapy related professionals and a chair across from them is filled with a new person every three minutes.  So New York… You want instant opinions from a bunch of different, professional perspectives, AND you want to benefit a worthy charity? Come on down! The concept came from Shapiro’s personal life experience when she saw eight different therapists in a mere eight days, which became the basis of her novel, Speed Shrinking. To start off this party, a loud whistle blows, giving the whole thing a relay race feeling. Since I participated in the last one, As the therapist, I really have to pace myself. Every three minutes that whistle goes off, bringing an entirely new experience literally, facing me. The attendees all want answers, guidance and opinions – and they get them! An awful lot of people showed up for a solid 1 1/2 hours. I’m no mathematician, but if you figure 3 minutes a person for 90 minutes, that’s a lot of talking. Despite my hoarseness at the end, I loved it. Every person was a completely different session, which challenged my brain and empathy skills in the best of...

. an 18+ blogumn by Miro Gudelsky Hi FaN readers. Dr. Miro here ready with answers to all your sexual questions. I can’t wait to hear from you! Our first question is on how to keep baby making sexy… Dear Dr. Miro: My husband and I are trying to make a baby. This means we have to have sex during my prime baby-making days. I’ll tell you what, nothing makes sex less sexy than HAVING to do it. What can we do to spice things up and help avoid the stress of trying to conceive when doing it? We know we are in trouble when even the girl-on-girl pornos fail to titillate… Signed, Juana Get Horny Dear JGH, Nothing kills the mood on ANYTHING like being told you have to… Since you know approximately when you are the most fertile, I suggest making an honest assessment of what is and is not important enough to clear off your schedule. You want to make a baby or even two? This is an investment that I’m pretty sure you can take one day off of work for. Try making those super fertile days as stress and hassle-free as possible. I hate to say it but there is something REALLY sexy about knowing at the end of your day you don’t have to make dinner, return calls, clean up or go to the gym. This may mean making a date w/your hubby where NEITHER of you are allowed to turn on computers or phones and just focusing on relaxing. This may mean you two get a good night’s rest together after a yummy meal OR it may mean that you are chill enough to have a delicious make out session. Don’t force the sexy-time because, well, that’s...