For some reason, my mother likes to give me garbanzo beans. To the point where it’s hard for me to get out of her house without finding a can or two tucked in with whatever groceries she wants to send with me. She has tossed them through the open window of my car as I’m backing out [...]

When I was seven years old, I ate nine extra-large, perfectly unspotted, starchy sweet bananas in the space of ten minutes.  I’m not sure why I kept methodically eating banana after banana after banana as if I was in some kind of food challenge for kindergarteners, or why my mother made no move to stop [...]

Pennsylvania is a weird and wonderful state. Two relatively artsy and liberal cities are surrounded on all sides by mainly conservative folks who enjoy the local wildlife, albeit often on the wall or in a stew pot. Venison was never on the menu at my house when I was growing up. The only thing my father, an Iranian [...]

I love potatoes in every form I have ever eaten them. I love potatoes so much it borders on becoming a codependent relationship.  I love potatoes so much that I actually enable potatoes to be less than their absolute best.  Which is to say that even though I truly appreciate good potatoes, I will and have [...]

Reading while eating is luxurious habit but not easy to accomplish, at least not if you like creamy, yummy treats and the pages of your books unstained and unspotted.  My favorite books to read while eating are books about eating and cooking: John Thorne’s Outlaw Cook, Laurie Colwin’s Home Cooking and the complete works of [...]

I’ve been trying to get in the habit of exercising. This may sound banal to you, but in reality this is like trying to get a feral cat used to full body shampoos.  It’s a process.  After I do my time on the treadmill I want a treat, but the last thing I want to do [...]

There’s an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants that I have been known to watch repeatedly.  It’s called “Just One Bite” and the premise is that sarcastic, narcissistic Squidward hates crabby patties and all those who enjoy them.  This is all because he has never actually eaten a patty due to the fact that they are greasy [...]

The eternal American breakfast question is “savory or sweet?”  Do I have a hearty scramble of eggs with sausage or bacon and home fried potatoes, or do I essentially have dessert for breakfast, a.k.a. the tower of fluffy pancakes covered in fruity topping and whipped cream?  Some brave souls have tried to eat both.  Generally [...]

I am a big fan of quinoa, not because it has the “health food” stamp, and not because it’s a “superfood” that sustained the Inca Empire, but because it really is a delicious and extremely adaptable food.  You can make it Indian curry style, Italian style, Chinese style, and the list goes on.  You can [...]

Dear reader, tonight I am questioning whether I am truly the right person to be writing a food column because darn it, all I want for dinner is cereal.  I love the initial crunchiness, the salty sweetness, and finally gulping down the survivors sopping with milk.  Rather than dairy, I prefer a light vanilla soy [...]