Project Runway Season 11: Finale Part 2! It’s Over Bitches… Drops The Mike. [Runway Rund...

Well, it’s over… We finally reached the end of the season, dear readers. I know many of you abandoned this season long ago when we all started to realize this whole teams business was a big mistake. For those of you that stuck with it like I have (read: had to) you can go clean up all those wine bottles and throw out those caffeine pills you were taking to stay awake. Let’s all take one last stroll through this season’s finale shall we? As always, there are spoilers ahead, so be warned (if you actually care)… So here we are with our final three designers, Michelle, Stanley and Patricia. I must say at this point...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 13, Season Finale Part 1… Drag...

Well kids, Lifetime opted to drag this shit out for even one more torturous week. They couldn’t just wrap it up with one nice big long finale, they had to squeak out one more damn episode and water down what has ultimately been the 2nd to worst season yet. (The worst being when they...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 12 – Come On… Get This O...

Previously on Dawson’s Creek, I mean Project Runway… We were anxiously (read:bored) waiting to see what would become of poor Michelle and her “do or die” moment. Cliffhangers are such a thrill, I can hardly contain my excitement, and by that I mean: even in the poor...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 11 Pocahontas Inspired Trash Bags Fo...

I don’t know how any of you do it! Week after week you manufacture drama out of the most boring crop of half baked designers we have seen in the 11 seasons of this show. I’m talking of course to you: the Editors of Project Runway Season 11: Teams Edition. I can picture you all...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 10 Avant Garddamn This Season Will N...

*Picks the glass of wine up, takes a sip and sighs deeply* Is it over yet?! Did they just shoot them all and bury them somewhere by the airport hoping nobody has actually been watching? Please tell me this season is like a bad dream within a dream and I’ll wake soon to find that tonight...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 9 – Seriously… Send Them...

God! How bad did last week’s work suck?! Poor Amanda was sent packing for THE worst showings by an entire group in the history of project runway. Alas, they didn’t take me or Heidi’s advice and send them all home, so I guess we get another challenge to critique. I have to...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 8 – Send Them ALL Home! Sad St...

Ok readers, is anyone else over this season as much as I am yet? While I had high hopes for this “Teams Edition” to bring something new to the game, all it has done is water down the designs and allow the contestants to aim for being safe… As long as they look around the...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 7 Prom On A Budget! [Runway Rundown]

Last week we saw the demise of our dear friend Albino Bellhop’s dream of being the next great american designer. (Yeah, Next great american designer that nobody really knows anything about or hears from again after this reality show…) Honestly Ben, I think you dodged a bullet. The...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 6 – This Episode Sponsored By ...

Last week on The Facts Of Life, we left Jo struggling to put a zipper into her chiffon strapless dress as Tootie laughed in the corner having finished her garment — she was just waiting for her model to return from the L’Oreal Paris makeup room. Mrs. Garrett was rounding up the...

Green With Envy… The Decline Of The VFX Industry In A Little Gre...

You may have noticed that this week many people have changed their Facebook and Twitter icons to bright green, representing the green screen we would see if there were no Visual Effects used in film. They are showing support for those involved, and hoping to bring awareness to the growing...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 5 Bruised Wookie Realness! [Runway R...

Well readers, we are another week into our newest season of the Runway Rundown and I have to say, we are starting to see who has the talent and who has just been skirting (bad pun) by. I do feel however, no one this season has really stepped up yet and owned the competition showing total...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 4 – Prickly Floral Cosby Sweat...

This was the week all the designers were dreading, but sick bitches like myself were waiting for: the first big Unconventional Materials Challenge! I love seeing designers get super creative with essentially miscellaneous junk, so let’s see how they fared this week. As always, watch the...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 3 – Surprise! I Made This Ugly...

Last week’s “Ball Fest” led to this week’s “Bawl Fest.” I missed Susan Sarandon’s boobs this week, they could have helped to lighten the mood as our designers reached the first challenge full of over confidence, self doubt, some hideous choices and a...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 2 – BALLS To The Wall! [Runway...

Since the designers phoned it in for the most part on this episode of Project Runway, I was halfway tempted to just recap my favorite episode of 227 from 1986, but I’ll be nice and stick to my weekly bitchfest as planned and save my “Maaaaaaaaary…” musings for another...

Fugly Public Art Aside, LED’s Might Just Save The Day! [A Tall G...

I hate public art. There I said it. Ok I don’t hate ALL public art, just most of the stuff that seems to end up being chosen around the globe as fit for public display. It seems like every artist with a capital A that submits their ugly sculpture of some deconstructed flower gets the...

Project Runway Season 11: Episode 1 – Everyone Share Your Toys! ...

Here we go again readers, we are off on another amazing adventure of hideous Poly-Blends, achingly beautiful garments out left field, gossipy moments in the aisles of MOOD and some stitch and bitch backstabbing. Season 11 of Project Runway: Teams Edition has begun! I always find that I love...

Project Runway Season 11 Pre-Show Rundown! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Get ready, because next week, an all new Season of Project Runway hits the air, and my bitchy commentary will start to flow like the mighty Mississippi! Season 10 turned out to be a bit of a snooze-fest and shaking things up is exactly what the reality series Project Runway needed, so for...

It’s Raining Christmas! A Drag Queen, Menorah and Gwar Christmas...

The holidays are upon us, as I am sure you all are too well aware. I bet everyone has noticed this fact since Halloween this year when stores and radio stations started playing those damn Christmas songs! (Side Note: Do people still listen to regular radio anymore besides me?) By now you...

Tall Glass of Shame: Happy Thanksgiving! [Best of FaN]

EDITOR’S NOTE: Are you having fun yet? If not, get your chuckle on with Zack Bunker’s 2010 Thanksgiving round-up, before trudging back to the fam.  After trudging through security at the airport, being raped by gloved hands, listening to the lady next to you on your flight choke...

A Stache For A Cause! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Some guys might look clean-cut this early in the month of November, but will be growing out their facial hair for the rest of the month. How come? Movember! It is the time of year that men across the globe will be growing a little hairier for a cause. For those not in the know, and there must...

How Can You Not Redneckognize The Beauty Of Halloween?! [A Tall Glass ...

Every year I bring you dear readers a little morsel of Halloween joy, and this year is no exception. I did however want to address a growing faction of what I will lovingly refer to as “Halloween Haters.” It appears some people love reveling in their hatred for this amazing...

Project Runway Season 10: The Finale! This Is No Time To Be Petulant! ...

Well dear readers, we have come to the end of yet another season of PROJECT RUNWAY. This season boasted about having the best group of designers yet as it was celebrating it’s tenth season on the air. Do you agree? I certainly don’t, but I did find a few gems in the murky waters...

Project Runway Season 10: Finale Part 1 Bad Wigs and Black Fabric! [Ru...

The finale is but mere moments away, but first we have to slog through the 2nd to last episode where we get see what our final group is really doing with their collections. Surprised? Excited? Horrified? Are they a bunch of hacks or truly beaming stars of this reality franchise? Any thoughts?...

The Learning Channel? Honey Boo Boo Season 1 [A Tall Glass Of Shame]

What have I learned from The Learning Channel as of late?… Not much really. Sadly the one channel on television that should be held to some sort of standard when it comes to “learning,” appears to be obsessed with babies, weddings, the Amish, conjoined twins, dance moms, and...

Project Runway Season 10: Episode 12 Well Blah Dee Blah! [Runway Rundo...

It seems every year I need to define the term “Avante Garde” for you all and this year I can add the judges to the list of people who might do with a good once over of the definition of the term. Avante Garde is defined as the following: the advance group in any field, especially...

Project Runway Season 10: Episode 11 – Birth Control For Designe...

Blah blah Spoilers ahead, go watch the show if you haven’t already, now let’s get down to business… First off let me just say that this week’s show had more screaming and whining babies than any episode before, and that was just the contestants. The challenge at hand...

Project Runway Season 10: Episode 10 …And Turn, And Kick, And Ba...

Where oh where do I even begin with this week’s glitz, glamour, and seriously hideous garments? There were things that went down the runway that even I, in my worst booze soaked Halloween shopping trip, wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole in somebody else’s hands. When we...

Project Runway Season 10: Episode 9 Make Your Own Damn Fabric! [Runway...

Alright bitches, we are down to the final 8! It only took half a season but finally we got rid of enough dead weight to proclaim some sort of hollow victory… Regardless kids, we are halfway home, so stop asking if we are there yet and let’s dish about the fabulous and the fugly we...

And Now It’s Time For A Breakdown! Project Runway Season 10: Epi...

Ok kids, I leave for one week and all hell breaks loose! Ok all hell didn’t break loose but I like to believe I am important so I say these things aloud often and with gusto. We have a lot of ground to cover since I have been away at Burning Man sporting and seeing many questionable...

Project Runway Season 10: Episode 6 Real Bitches Got Curves! [Runway R...

Here’s the usual warning everybody… If you haven’t watched the episode, there will be spoilers so go watch your recorded episode or catch it online, then come back and read my cheers and jeers. You can also chime in with a comment and let me know if you disagree with my...

Project Runway Season 10 Episode 5: Tim Gunn’s Designer Day Care...

WARNING READERS!!! As always if you haven’t watched the show, go sit your ass down in front of that DVR and then come back to join in on the snark after… Hello everyone and welcome to Tim Gunn’s Designer Day Care, do you have a little designer you’d like to drop off?...

Project Runway Season 10: Episodes 3 and 4 [Runway Rundown]

Well kids, it has been a looooong two weeks over here at Fierce and Nerdy with our little vacay in full effect and it appears we have A LOT to talk about in regards to that little show Project Runway. There were bitchy comments, “helpful” advice, people crying, people leaving, and...

Live From Seattle: Space Muslims! [A Tall Glass Of Shame][Best of FaN]

I love this story from my past, and over the last year I have to say this is my favorite blog post. These women haunt my memories of Seattle and every time I have returned, I think about them and wonder where they are today… Every year around this time when the sun starts to change...

This Is A Glue The Sh*t Out Of It Moment! [Runway Rundown]

Upon re-watching last week’s episode I would like to add a slap of the hand to one Michael Kors… Mr. Kors Take off your shades please! You are judging a competition based on truly seeing the garments and unless you are rocking a fan and are Karl F’in Lagerfeld, I don’t...

Project Runway, Season 10 Episode 1: Sew Many Damn Contestants! [Runwa...

Well here we go again! Season 10 of the beloved reality competition Project Runway is underway with what looks like a strong group of contenders. As with every season the first episode or two are hard to get through as you try to figure out who is who in this crowd of 16 designers. It is...

Drab or Fab? Project Runway Season 10 Begins! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Alright kids, it is time once again to crack open the closet and play dress up with Project Runway. Season 10 of the beloved reality competition begins tonight at 9pm (8 central) on Lifetime Television for Women and Gay Men! As usual I will be your cohort along for the ride with weekly...

One Two Three Four, I Declare A Craft War! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Get out your glue guns and brace for a glitter bomb, TLC’s new show Craft Wars has hit the airwaves and is pitting crafty cat ladies and (possibly) gay craftinistas head to head in a competition of less than epic proportion. Last week the new show aired and I must say, the show seems...

Let’s talk about “Girls” [A Tall Glass of Shame]

I’m not one to gossip, but let’s talk about Girls. It’s not every day a show comes along on scripted television that stops me in my tracks, makes me laugh, and keeps me coming back for more. Though HBO’s new series Girls has just had it’s Season 1 finale this...

Let Us Raise A (Dry Piece Of) Toast In Honor Of The Queen! [A Tall Gla...

There have been entirely too many Jubilees lately if you ask me. Just a few weeks back we had the Silverlake Jubilee, where your wallet got to be gouged to watch a crappy friend’s band play in the middle of an LA street and people tried to sell you homemade crap you don’t need...

A Quick Big Gay Update! [A Tall Glass Of Shame]

So with all the big gay developments in pop culture and politics over the last few weeks I figured you all could use a Big Gay Update! It appears we finally have a president willing to step out and *gasp* not only acknowledge the concept of equal rights for gays, but put his support behind...

Fitness Bootcamp Realness! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

I set out to lose weight last year and have succeeded by losing 55 pounds since October of 2011. Eating better was how I started things off, the usual lower carb/ higher protein diet worked wonders. I cut out all junk and processed foods and quit my habit of daily soda consumption. Once I...

Heavy Lifting, Deer Bags and Thieving Grannies… It Must Be Garag...

I have always loved garage sales. Picking through a stranger’s junk is always a bizarre experience, but knowing you might find some amazing treasure there you simply can’t live without is just too tempting. I think there is something in my blood I got from my mother that I not...

Ten Things I Learned About Parenting This Week [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Every morning I wake up and make sure my son has a little treat before he starts his day. Kids can be so exhausting and mornings usually mean he is jumping on the bed to rouse his daddies from their slumber. Parenting means responsibility, so I drag myself up and start the day when the boy...

Discovering of The Magnetic Fields [Tall Glass of Shame]

In the year 2000 I was living in Seattle Washington and attending Cornish College of the Arts, living in my own little bohemian world and enjoying the rainy emerald city. Every Summer right before school started back up, the music festival Bumbershoot would take place during Labor Day Weekend...

Eating Little Thighs and Nine Other Things to Know About Rio [Tall Gla...

I promise I’ll stop talking about my trip to Rio after this week! If you are ever inclined to visit Brazil let me guide you through a few things you might want to know before hopping on that jet plane. 1. The Coxinha There is a little piece of heaven named the coxinha and you simply...

Does Paris Hilton Know What Devassa Bem Loura Means? [Tall Glass of Sh...

Let’s talk this week about a few things I have come across while scanning the world of Brazilian TV here in Rio. First thing I saw when I turned on the boob tube was literally just that, I saw a woman dancing the samba in nothing more than some strappy heels and some glittery body...

It’s All About the Carnaval! [Tall Glass of Shame]

By the time you read this, I will be midway into my first trip abroad in years… Yes dear readers, Zack is finally getting his gringo butt to Rio De Janeiro! With my future husband leading the way, I am off to see Carnaval, meet the family, lay on some beaches and probably get a bit of a...

Redneck Is The New Black! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Somewhere in the past few years television has become jam packed with reality shows featuring the richest of the rich. These shows give us a glimpse into the “hard” lives of the upper class and paint an exhausting picture of shopping in excess, living in excess, and bitching in...

Lifetime’s January Fashion Bores But Ladies, Start Your Engines!...

So anyone who has seen the first two episodes of Project Runway All Stars on Lifetime has finally seen just how boring and contrived it can get. The contestants, all hailing from former seasons of the hit show, are for the most part very talented but a bit of a bore. The drama of fierce new...

A YouTube Holiday Adventure! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

You have survived the holidays thus far and with just a week to go you are in the home stretch, so this week I wanted to bring a little creepy and a little cheer to my stressed and weary readers. Kick back, watch the videos and laugh a little this holiday. Feel free to forward them on and...

A Different Kind Of Holiday Shopping Guide! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

The holidays are once again upon us and it is the time of year that many people out there will begin to feel the pressure and stress of the season. Some will be dreading the long trek home to see family, while others may be fearing they will not have enough cash to make it through the year...

Screw The McRib, I Want A Dick’s Burger! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

I’m sure if you have travelled to Seattle Washington, you have learned about the best fast food chain in the Northwest: Dick’s Drive In. There may be other juicier burgers out there, patties made a little thicker or with more pizazz, but the entire experience doesn’t hold a...

Project Runway: Season 9 Finale! Hit? Run? Hit and Run? [Runway Rundow...

Well kids it has been an eventful, tear filled season. I’ve been watching Project Runway with all of you and tonight it was brought to an inevitable end. This episode is always the one that divides viewers and starts debate in many gay circles over who’s prints were best, who...

Halloween Weekend 2011 Is Here, Are You Ready? [A Tall Glass of Shame!...

Halloween weekend is fast approaching, do you have your costume all finished for the parties ahead? I know what some of you are thinking, Halloween is on a Monday this year and maybe this is the year to sit this one out. My answer to you naysayers of this the most fun of holidays is: Hell No!...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 13 Tim Gunn’s Home Shop...

This week’s episode is that calm before the storm, the episode where Tim Gunn does his home visits and we discover who our final three are for the season. This is make it or break it time for our designers and with only five weeks to produce a full collection on their own, they need...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 12 The Final Challenge [Runwa...

Now I want to start this week by saying that it has been a while since I attempted to throw together an entire dress in a day… but this week I made a dress for my partner to go as “Carrie” for a party we are throwing. The make-it-work moments and time crunch helped me...

Do You Like Good Design And Fashion? You Need to be Watching The Sunda...

I was flipping channels a few months back and suddenly realized we had The Sundance Channel. After tuning in to this odd mix of television fare, I must say it is now one of my favorite channels to check out for new programming. This summer found me hooked on their show Ludo Bites America,...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 11 High Fashion Tarred and Fe...

You know when you walk by a pet store and you see those old sad looking birds on a perch and they seem like they are just waiting for death? Well this week on Project Runway, one contestant created an outfit that pretty much sums up that scenario as a whole. For their challenge the designers...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 10 – Here A Maxi, There...

Ok everybody, we are down to the final 7 designers! It seems like just last week little Olivier was auf’d and sent home, oh wait it was just last week. This is usually when the cream has risen to the top and the designs are impressive across the board right? Well at least this week we...

My Love Letter To San Francisco [A Tall Glass Of Shame]

You know when a you visit a city that you don’t live in and it just grabs a part of you and in a way forever will be your home away from home? Well San Francisco is my example of just that. It seems every year since I was about 12 years old I would come to this city to visit my sister...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 9 Menswear, Like Simple Math,...

What can take a perfectly good group of designers on Project Runway and turn them into the equivalent of a sewing class full of lumberjacks? Menswear… The most dreaded of all challenges every year seems to be this one, and this week it proved to be one hell of a tall order to ask of our...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 8 “Boobies, Boobies, Bo...

“American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things, money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.” – Hedy Lamarr Let me begin this week by stating a fact: real women have curves! Let me state another fact: Designers on Project Runway are terrified of...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 7 Mom And Dad Stop Fighting, ...

Avante-garde damn last week was exhausting! I almost couldn’t get out of bed to meet all the designers again in the workroom, the pain was just too fresh. Alas and alack I pulled up my bootstraps and managed to slug my way over to Parsons to get down to business, and boy did I regret...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 6 En Garde for Avante-Garde! [Runwa...

Oh my Garde, this week was a mess on that runway! It seems the kids were a bit exhausted after last week’s non-stop bitch fest when the contestants were dropping like flies! This week we have reached the Avante-Garde challenge that in years past has produced some amazing creations. One...

XXX Live Nude Sustainable Housing! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Ok, so I had to get your attention somehow! I admit the subject of sustainable housing isn’t very sexy, for many it just conjures images of dirty hippies and leftist lobbyists screaming from the corner while everyone ignores them. Today I want you to just sit back, close your eyes and...

Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 4 How many ways can Nina say NO?! [...

It was bound to happen dear readers, eventually the time would come when the challenge was brought forth to slay the dragon with your bare hands… I’m talking of course about designing a daytime to nighttime look for none other than Nina Garcia herself. I hope the designers had a...

Reality TV and I Mess With Texas! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Move over New Jersey, nobody wants to see you flip tables or get spray tanned anymore. You can tell Snooki her 15 minutes have long been up and she owes us like 45 back. We’ve moved on, and the network Gods of Reality TV have found a new territory for us to conquer: Texas. Recently, more and...

Project Runway: Episode 3 Fugly on stilts! [Runway Rundown]

This week the designers were asked to “Think Big” by a stilt walking Heidi Klum. Away we went into the world of the circus, as the designers fought the urge to make an ugly clown costume all while throwing around the word couture where it does NOT belong. Heidi had with her one...

Project Runway Season 9: Episode 2 Review-Recap [Runway Rundown]

Our resident designer dishes on the designers of PROJECT RUNWAY Spoiler Alert! If you have Project Runway DVR’d and you don’t want to know the outcome hit the back button now, OR check out my rundown of the first show HERE. Everyone else come sit by me and let me tell you a little...

Zack Bunker on Project Runway – Season 9: The Crazy Has Begun [Tall Gl...

Calling all Designers! (And gays, ladies with a sewing machine, wanna-be seamstress fashionistas and generally fierce bitches!) Project Runway has returned this Summer to Lifetime TV for Season 9 with what looks to be a highly talented group of crazy! In most recent years the first episode...

The Red Dress Party 2011 [Tall Glass of Shame]

I awoke today with my feet throbbing and a frightening red wig and dress thrown across the room. The smell of hairspray hung thick in the air. My terror only grew when I saw make-up smudged across my pillow. Yes my friends, another Red Dress party has come and gone and I must say, it was a...

Vajazzling and Pejazzling: Tall Glass of Shame [BEST OF FaN]

Originally published 05/26/11 I am all for bling in this world, but there is a time and place for everything. It seems everywhere I turn these days there is another mylar encrusted t-shirt, more shimmering cell phone covers, jewel encrusted dog collars and now… Swarovski crystals for...

Reading BOSSYPANTS Is Fundamental: Tall Glass of Shame [BOOK WEEK]

Alright readers, this past week I couldn’t make up my mind about which book on my nightstand I wanted to review more for Book week. The two books I picked were just so similar in scope. Tina Fey’s new memoir BOSSYPANTS and Roger Ma’s THE ZOMBIE COMBAT MANUAL: A Guide to...

Zack Bunker Highly Recommends Barf [Tall Glass of Shame]

I reach for the remote to mute commercials these days. It seems like advertisers have gotten smart to how numb our ears have become and they’ve started to crank up the volume on television ads a little more in the last few years. I think since my brain gets fuzzy at the thought of how...

Zack Bunker Is Still Haunted by that One Episode of the JERSEY SHORE [...

Have you ever watched The Jersey Shore? C’mon don’t lie, you can admit it… there was that one time you were home alone, the shades were drawn and there was nothing on TV. You were bored and figured you may as well see what everybody at work is talking about. You figured that...

PROM! [Tall Glass of Shame]

With Spring comes a mad rush of teenagers squeezing into dresses, buying corsages, renting limo’s and trying to figure out how to sneak liquor into a school event. Yes folks, it is Prom season again in the USA! Remember when you had such simple worries as “Will he ask me to...

Hypercolor Shirts and Other Stupid Fads [Tall Glass of Shame]

When I was 13 I loved my Hypercolor shirt with all my heart. Generra Hypercolor, for those of you that didn’t live through the early nineties, was heat sensitive clothing manufactured in Seattle that would shift from one color to another by holding a hand against it or blowing on it...

My Vow to Be a Better April Fooler [Tall Glass of Shame]

April Fool’s day was first introduced to me by my mother. I remember learning about it from her while we were in the car one day and she made it sound like this April 1st was so full of trickery and pranks that one might not even survive it. I began to worry… What if I am the...

Boys and Girls Go Wild or Happy St. Patrick’s Day [Tall Glass of...

Every year when St. Patrick’s Day rolls around I feel that same bit of Irish pride in my blood. The day is always swathed in green, with dancing leprechauns, four leaf clovers and of course the obligatory drunken Irishman stumbling about. You can’t seem to celebrate this occasion...

Tall Glass of Shame: Angry Birds Goes Viral

I sometimes lose my temper. It is odd… screaming, shouting and shaking begin to take over my otherwise calm exterior. I lurch and contort wildly while exclaiming into the ether “Arrrrg!” I am hoping and praying that this time…. just this once… I will be lucky...

Tall Glass of Shame: The Real Housewives of Civil Right Whip Their Hai...

It is that time of the year again: Winter still holds half the country in it’s frozen death grip, people start to get cabin fever, and I learn to be best friends with my television. Awards shows are popping up like the flowers that will soon spring forth from the ground, and my senses...

Tall Glass of Shame: A Well-Designed Change

I hated mowing the lawn as a kid. I lived through the agonizing process praying that somehow the grass would burst into flames and I would not have to tread on that scorched earth ever again. The terror of staring at that mountainous hill of green disappeared the day my father bought our...

Tall Glass of Shame: Do This Nightmare Experiment

Many things fuel my nightmares from Spandex shorts to the ever impending Zombie apocalypse, it just seems that some nights I can’t get any sleep. My recurring nightmares are usually filled with waves of water ready to destroy or falling elevators out of control, but what about those...

Tall Glass of Shame: A Cynical (But Hopeful!) Look At Resolutions

The champagne bottles litter the floor and the hiss of the stereo speakers cuts through the silent morning air. Your feet stick to the carpet. You ask yourself the simple questions like: “Whose pants am I wearing, and why is there a goat eating my sofa?” Hello and welcome 2011,...

Tall Glass of Shame: Don’t Give Up On Christmas!

Under the twinkling glow of the tree, he sits weeping after being so horribly violated. I promised it wouldn’t be like last year, but unfortunately these things are unpredictable. All I can do now is hope that time heals all wounds. I’m talking of course about my wallet that has been raped by...

Tall Glass of Shame: Glitter and Sequins [Evil Cats]

I don’t feel safe in my own home. Have you ever had that feeling? I walk the halls and place my feet over the bed’s edge all while squinting my eyes and holding my breath. I live in constant fear of the next attack from two devilish creatures that live in my home: My Cats! We named our...

Tall Glass of Shame: Be a Better Halloweener

OK kids gather up your Chilean Coal Miner’s outfits and GaGa Meat dresses cause its time to get ready for Halloween 2010. You know I take this celebration seriously and am always a little more than obsessed about Halloween, so I’m here to help you out and get in the holiday spirit! I love...

Tall Glass of Shame: I Want to be a “Real Housewife” [Seri...

I want to be a “Real Housewife.” I want my biggest worries to be whether or not I will make it to my hair extension appointment and if the other girls are talking smack about my spoiled children. Life is hard in the (multi-million dollar) hood. I want to fly around town drinking...

Tall Glass of Shame: I’m a Big Cook Now

I need to confess something to you all, I am afraid of cooking. For years I have stared at the shelves of the grocery store and gotten anxiety, quickly running towards the frozen food aisle to find peace. But I can’t eat frozen pizza any more, I have decided to face my fears head on! When you...

Tall Glass of Shame: We Are Public

The name Josh Harris doesn’t ring a bell to many people, yet he may just be the most important person in the creation of the internet as we know it today. Josh is an internet pioneer, technology wizard, artist and potentially a power hungry surveillance addict. In his hands technology...

Tall Glass of Shame: TruckNutz [FaN Favorites]

. a favorite blogumn by Zack Bunker Zack Says: I love a good creepy All-American product as much as the next guy, but when i saw these things dangling off a truck in front of me I was stopped in my tracks. The fact that this product even exists and is amazingly popular just makes me giggle. I...

Tall Glass of Shame: Drag-U [RuuuuuPaul]

. a culling by Zack Bunker It is Drag Thunderdome people! Three women enter, three ugly drag queens leave… only to be paraded in front of their terrified family members, that smile back to keep their mother or sister from bursting into tears. This my friends is what happens when good...

Tall Glass of Shame: Run Tell Dat!

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker Hey! Excuse me! Yeah you… You over there! What are you doing? Didn’t you hear the world is coming to an end? Shouldn’t you be looting for iPhones with the rest of the herd by now? Well since you’re not into looting either, why don’t you...

Tall Glass of Shame: GWAAAAAR!!!!

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker I am a firm believer in stepping out of your comfort zone. Sometimes it is taking a class at a local college, or buying that dress you think might be too skimpy. Sometimes escaping your comfort zone is pushing yourself to say hi to that person you have had your eye...

Tall Glass of Shame: Scenes from Dating Hell

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker The second worst date of my life was with a nice 24-year-old man named Tyler in Seattle Washington. (I’m going with the second worst as the WORST is a story for another time…) I was 19 and looking for love. We met in an AOL chatroom as many bored people...

Tall Glass of Shame: The Sullen Teenager

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker Remember those days when you would sit in your bedroom writing bad poetry in your journal and feel like you were the only kid on Earth that could possibly be feeling so much raw emotion? You’d scrawl on the page something like: “I feel the yearning. The...

Tall Glass of Shame: Performance Art That Won’t Make You Stare A...

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker Many fear it and somehow no local news affiliates have done a story on it warning the public of its menacing presence. It strikes when you least expect it and can claim any number of victims especially now with technology being what it is… It can reach the...

Tall Glass of Shame: Wedding Disasters

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker So this past week I had the pleasure of attending a wedding, which is a ritual that always warms my cold cold heart. In the past I’ve maybe been to 6 different ceremonies of all denominations or lack thereof. Luckily, this ceremony was beautiful and the bride...

Tall Glass of Shame: Beauty Is On The Outside

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker You may not want to admit this, but I know once or twice you’ve pulled on some of that flabby skin ya got there, scotch taped it back, posed in the mirror with pursed lips trying to look “sexy,” then started sobbing and shouting to the gods:...

Tall Glass of Shame: Tins of You Tube Food — Just In Case

. a blogumn by Zack Bunker Is anyone else feeling a tad scatterbrained this week? I think it is that itch of Spring beginning and needing to clean out the old and add sparkle and shine to everything that seems to be distracting me. I watched that Hoarders show on A&E recently and wanted...