Be a Better Britophile: Loads Better Than Sesame Street

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A blogumn by Fiona Craig

To really get to the core of the British psyche you have to toddle down the murky corridors of our past. Not to the time of the Roman invasion or the Norman Conquest must we look, but in fact somewhere a little closer to teatime.

While mothers dallied themselves in the nation’s kitchens, boiling our fish fingers and sprouts with as much exuberance as a teenage sales girl on prom night, we sat google-eyed, transfixed by the spoils that our walnut-veneered, cathode-ray companion served up.

If, like me, you are around a certain age, you will remember with the kind of nostalgia only previously reserved for the blitz, the intoxicating world that was 1970’s and ‘80s children’s TV programmes.

Lock any two otherwise sane and rational British adults in a room for long enough and eventually the talk will turn to children’s TV. The programmes we watched in our formative years leave such an impression that we feel compelled to recount them regularly, at any given prompt.

There was so much great Kids TV produced in the seventies that it seems unfair to mention only a few here. But do make the jump to read all about them and watch some vids:

Mr. Benn

From Oliver Postgates classics like Bagpuss and The Clangers, through to perenial favourites like Rainbow, Mr. Benn and The Magic Roundabout, there was so much going on back then.

Derived from the minds of a generation still buzzing from the high of the sixties, some of the scenarios for these programmes were pretty far out if not downright psychedelic.

Take The Clangers for example, a programme which featured a number of small creatures living in peace and harmony on a small, hollow planet far far away, nourished by Blue String Pudding, and Green Soup harvested from the planet’s volcanic soup wells by the Soup Dragon.The Clangers, tiny pink mice-looking creatures, wore clothes reminiscent of Roman armour and spoke in whistles.

Perhaps an even groovier example of the hippie-inspired genius that was dished out on kids TV was the incredible Chorlton and the Wheelies. This stop motion animation series took place in “Wheelie World”, which was inhabited by the “wheelies”, a race of anthropomorphic creatures who moved around on …..er, wheels.

The wheelie society lived in constant conflict with Fenella the Kettle Witch, who resided in Spout Hall, an oversized kettle. She had magical capabilities, including a form of teleportation and enchanted assistants including a talking book called Claptrap Von Spilldebeans and O’Reilly the Telescope. The wheelies adopted into their society Chorlton, a “happiness dragon”, who appeared in Wheelie World at the very beginning of the series, hatching out of an egg. Chorlton, although perpetually good-natured, is perpetually clueless.

You can imagine the trippy antics that ensued.

I read this week that whilst in the middle of recording the song to the latest 007 James Bond flick, Quantum of Solace, Alicia Keys and Jack White agreed to make a new version of the theme song to Postman Pat, (another well know British childrens’ TV show). I don’t think anyone could ever fully articulate just how bizarre a concept this is. However, as a well known Britophile, Jack White has certainly proved the enduring fascination with British kids TV.

Bagpuss:

The Clangers:

Chorlton and the Wheelies:

The Magic Roundabout:

Mr. Benn:

And check out this clip of Rainbow. Was it ever this rude???