This is my last post until after the baby is born.  I can’t believe that in a few weeks (or maybe even days!) that I’ll have a little girl to look after for the rest of my life.  I honestly thought I was done being newly nested and that it was time to think of a new title for my blog. In the past every time I thought I was done being newly nested I was wrong.  First, I got married, but when we hit our one year anniversary I thought the idea of being new at it was over. Then we bought a house, which was a whole new nesting phase. Soon I found out that unless you are rich, nesting never stops in a house because there is always a new project to do. Now, settled in my home for almost two years I thought, what else is there to be newly nesting about? I didn’t even consider having a baby as a whole new form of nesting, but it is. I always just thought a baby would fit into my life, not that I would fit into a baby’s life. While to some degree we plan on holding onto who we are, fitting a baby into your own life just seems silly when you start realizing how much everything is about to change. There are too many choices and things that you are supposed to consider to care for the baby.  If you are like me, and you are excited to have a child in your life, than there is even more philosophical issues with having a child that will start driving you crazy.  In the last few months I have not only been obsessed with nesting (preparing my home for the...

While summer is my favorite season (perhaps because I’m a summer baby), I always welcome the fall because it is the return of TV season.  Right now I am so happy because 80% of my DVR is loaded with shows that I probably won’t realistically have the time to catch up with.  That is heaven to me. Ernessa and the rest of the folks at FAN have done a great job with reviewing all the new TV shows and I have to say I agree with most of them.  My ultimate favorite new show is Revenge, which I blame on the old WB show Everwood where I first saw Emily VanCamp.  You can make fun of me all you want, but that show was awesome in the cheesiest family way and I especially loved that there was a character with the name Ephram (a favorite of mine) on TV.  While Revenge is nothing like Everwood, I am really enjoying an old favorite carrying her own show.  The only problem I see is how ABC is going to be able to carry that show beyond one season without jumping the shark. [FRINGE SPOILER ALERT, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH TO AVOID] Speaking of jumping the shark, I think that one of my surprise favorites (mostly because I usually hate SyFy) Fringe has jumped the shark with J.J. Abrams favorite writing gimmick—what would happen in the alternate universe?  He did this by getting rid of the main character Peter.  Now there are four universes to think about—here with Peter, there with Peter, here without Peter, and there without Peter.  What is Abram’s thinking?  I hated Lost and I am just hoping Fringe isn’t going to turn into a Lost 2.0.  Did anyone see Friday’s episode?  It was...

I’m have eight weeks until my due date and one new thing that my pregnancy has taught me is what I’m going to be like when I’m an old lady.  Around 29 weeks I just woke up one day and turned into a crotchety version of myself. Here are the things that show me what I am going to be like when I’m in my retirement years: By 4pm everyday I’m ready to lie in bed and I don’t just want to get in bed, I want to get in bed and eat cookies all night long (I usually resist this urge, but I think I’ll give into this one day soon). I have zero tolerance for strangers and anything that comes out of their mouths, unless they are super nice or super cute, and then I’ll smile back. I have hot flashes. Getting up out of a seat is now a form of exercise. When anyone asks how I’m doing I stopped saying the standard and polite fine, instead I say “I’m not going to lie to you, I’m uncomfortable.” I get outraged by other’s actions even when it has nothing to do with me. I’ve become an emotional driver—sometimes I get angry and sometimes I cry. I drive slower now. I am constantly worried that someone is out to hurt me (but not in a crazy I won’t get out of the house way, in an automatically block my stomach when walking around strangers way).  In fairness to me some ass elbowed me in the stomach during my trip to Vegas. I forget what I’m saying mid-sentence. Even if what I was going to say was important, I still never remember what it was.  Drives me nuts! If I have a dream...

I couldn’t wait to watch The Playboy Club, mostly because I have been dying for someone to take me back to the 1960s while I wait for Mad Men. While The Playboy Club does take us back to a time that is not our own, it still doesn’t have that smart and addictive immersion into the 1960s that you get from watching Mad Men.  When comparing the show to Mad Men it is nothing but a failure on all fronts, but that isn’t really a fair way to grade the new NBC drama. The truth is I went into the drama naively.  I thought I was going to get some sort of sexy, women empowerment television, but what I really got was a love triangle mixed with the underbelly of the mob.  The main focus on the show is the new Bunny, Maureen, who with innocent eyes clearly has big plans to move up in this world.  Within the first few minutes she finds herself in a bit of trouble after dancing with the wrong guy who follows her in the back and tries to rape her.  That’s when sexy and popular Nick Dalton tries to come to her rescue. But he can’t pull the guy off, so Maureen kicks her attacker in self-defense …and ends up killing him with her high heel.  That’s when Dalton informs her they must dump the body because she has just killed the mob boss of Chicago.  When Dalton takes her to his house the first Bunny, Carol-Lynn (and the one with all the power in the club) finds them and believes they are having a fling together (which they did not).  That’s when we also learn that Dalton is maybe in love with Carol-Lynn, or at the...

Last time I told you all about taking my dogs to Vegas.  On the dog front it was a successful trip, but during the three days we were there we had a few small hiccups. The short of it is, I went to Vegas and I ended up with a new car. On the way up, my husband hit a piece of rubber on the road.  At the end of the trip, when we started driving home, we realized that the road-rubber had hit the lining on the bottom of our car. It sounded like the bottom of the car was dragging on something. We decided to stop at the border of Nevada and California, which is only 45 minutes away from Vegas, to eat and inspect the situation. After we grabbed our fast food, we realized that the lining in the wheel well, above the tire was rubbing on the tire. That is when my pregnancy hormones went into full swing.  Suddenly this debris scraping on a rubber tire seemed like a dangerous idea for a five hour trek into the dessert. I did not want to get stuck, 7 months pregnant, in 110 degree temperature, stranded in the middle of nowhere.  The lining had to be removed.  My husband swore to me it wasn’t that important and a cheap fix.  We called AAA and the only thing they offered us was a tow.  Then we tried duct taping and went on our way.  We only made it one mile down the freeway before we heard the dragging noise again, so we turned around and went back to the border. I called many mechanics, ones that were even open 24hrs and they all said they wouldn’t work on my car until the next morning.  My...

Even though I have officially started my third trimester, babies aren’t on my mind.  Instead, I have my doggies on my brain.  Currently my two terrier mixes, Tango and Cash, are my babies, at least for the next three months.  Since I’ve owned them, I have imagined taking them on a family vacation.  Feel free to judge, but I enjoy having them around, so why not when all you are doing is relaxing and having fun? This week we’ll be traveling to Las Vegas with our doggies.  I would say this is probably not the best city to go to with pets, but circumstances made it be so we are going to have fun with it.  We are going to see shows for the weekend and staying at Caesar’s Palace, which now has a really nice pet policy that you can check out here.  The one down side is I have viewed their “run” area and even my parents’ 8lb maltese wouldn’t have enough space to play in the strip of grass provided.  I am actually wondering if my two medium dogs (one 35lbs and one 45lbs) would both fit in it to poop at the same time.  No matter, when it comes to the late night potty break it will work nicely. My dogs are generally easy going.  They love people (except Cash who is scared, but not vicious) and they love dogs even more.  However, on our last trip up to LA our dogs displayed some major anxiety over being in crowds.  While dining in The Grove they barked and sometimes growled at people and dogs that they deemed threatening.  It got to the point that we wouldn’t let strangers pet them (not even celebrities, like Patti Stanger who ogled over our...

I have discovered how much of a TV junkie I am this summer.  Without my favorite network shows airing during the summer I have turned to watching MSNBC and CNN nightly.  Thursday night I even made sure to tune in to Lawrence O’Donnell Live after the Republican debate in Iowa.  That’s when I was faced with a question: Is Stephen Colbert a man in makeup who can’t be trusted?  Who never reveals his face? Is Stephen Colbert the runner of a dirty filthy Super PAC with dirty filthy money?  Is he even worse than Nigerian spammers with his “Spiders In Your Hair” email? To see what I am talking about you can watch the clip below: I had no idea how Lawrence O’Donnell felt about Colbert until I tuned in to Laurence’s show The Last Word. I was dumbfounded at how appalled some people were by the antics of a show that airs on Comedy Central (might be your first clue not to take Colbert too seriously).  To be honest, I’ve been more of a Rachel Maddow fan, she seems to often make similar points to Colbert, just in a more “let me hit you over the head with a club” kind of way.  But where do Stephen Colbert’s politics fall?  And does it really matter? There is a great divide in my house.  I am a leftist Democrat and my husband is a leftist Republican.  Oddly enough we agree more on politics than we disagree, but still it is very clear that we view the world of politics completely differently.  One particular glaring disagreement is where we decide to get our news.  I watch the news, granted sometimes from biased sources like MSNBC, while my husband decided over a year ago, to only...

“Be careful not to gain the newlywed 15!” That was the piece of advice my mother gave me on my wedding day, just before we left for our honeymoon.  She has always been one to tell me the dark side of the truth.  While I focused on getting in the best shape for my wedding, the nasty truth is, as soon as you are married you tend to gain weight. The same went for pregnancy.  She has constantly told me with every child she had, she lost her mind a little more.  I thought she was just giving me an excuse for her slow responses, not because her thinking was slowing, but because with three children, a business, and a house to take care she just had too much on her plate.  It wasn’t an excuse.  She was right, having a baby kills a little bit of your mind. Okay, maybe I’m over exaggerating, because I am hoping my mind gets back to its sharp state once this baby is born, but the truth is there is something that is happening that is making me just a little more stupid every day. I first noticed my brain slipping away when I would be talking to my husband and in mid-sentence I would completely forget what I was saying.  My brain quite literally emptied and there was nothing there.  Then the pregnancy brain started to effect things in my life.  Like my bed.  We have a Tempur-Pedic Ergo system(moves like a hospital bed). I washed the remote with the bedding.  When I was taking the sheets off I repeatedly said to myself, “Remember to remove the remote.” Of course I didn’t and the remote broke, while my bed was in the fully reclined position. Finally,...

I have used this blog to discuss my anxiety towards having children several times.  I always knew that up until I was pregnant I would never really be certain about having kids.  However, I was also certain that when I had my first child falling into being a mother would come naturally and would be something that I would enjoy.  I am happy to share with you that I am now 22 weeks pregnant. I am not going to lie or sugar coat it, the first trimester sucked.  But all those bad feelings were a good thing because it meant the pregnancy was progressing.  So even when I got sick and could barely eat I was happy.  The only surprise that I really had was how un-maternal I felt.  I was so certain that when I became pregnant those hormones would not only help the baby grow but would also help me grow into motherhood.  Even though I was excited and happy, maternal would not be the word I would use to describe how I felt.  Not until my 19 week ultrasound when I found out that we were having a girl did my maternal instincts kick in.  The first example of this was when we got our ultrasound pictures and I refused to send the picture of her gender area to anyone.  I simply told my husband, “She is a lady and no one needs to see our little girl’s parts.” This baby girl has changed me a lot in many surprising ways beyond my new motherly instincts.  First, I always hated bananas.  Now, I walk through my kitchen longingly eyeing them, imagining how good they must taste, but too scared to try them because I know they always make me throw up. ...

It’s funny because last time we picked our favorite blogumn, I picked my first article and this time I picked the first article I wrote for FAN in 2011.  It was an easy choice for me, because I’m still obsessed with the idea of spending Christmas on Coronado Island and even mentioned this to my husband just two days ago.  Now that it’s summer, I think it’s time to embrace a good STAYCATION again! Originally published 01/04/11 My husband has been asking me to embrace the staycation since we’ve moved to San Diego two years ago.  Finally, this past holiday season I fell into the spirit of a full blown staycation and fell in love with a new part of my city again. We decided on a staycation this year because neither of us planned our New Year’s weekend in advance.  Starting December 26, I looked into traveling December 29-January 2 and all my efforts to go to Hawaii showed a cost of $3500-$4000for the four day trip — maybe next year.  I was dying for a break.  We’d just had Alan’s family visit for Thanksgiving and mine for Christmas.  That’s when I told Alan “STAYCATION!” on Wednesday night. For the first time I was planning my weekend in San Diego like I was traveling there.  I was looking up what activities I wanted to do, what restaurants I wanted to eat in and anticipating sleeping and lying in bed (something I love to do on vacation). We had Indian food, a yummy cheese-centric dinner at a local restaurant, saw Harry Potter, and ended the weekend with a trip to Coronado Island. Coronado Island has actually served as a bit of contention in our marriage.  I love going there and my husband, content in...

I’ve always found that my writing is better when I am reading even more than I am writing.  I am ashamed to say that both have recently fallen through the cracks.  The truth is I wasn’t really raised with books.  I’m sure that my parents read to me, but reading and writing was something that was never forced on me, so when given the choice I would park myself in front of the television.  A lot of writers talk about their favorite books as a kid and I don’t really have many. Instead I have fond memories of watching Get Smart, Mr. Ed, and other classic television shows.  I did like to read.  I loved Matilda and as a preteen I was reading a new Baby-Sitter’s Club or R. L. Stein book every week. My real love of reading and writing didn’t form until high school when I read On The Road. I loved that book so much that I just new that’s what I wanted to do.  I signed up for a creative writing class and from there I felt how writing awaken me inside of me.  I wasn’t a very good writer back then and probably still have a long way to go, but reading has always been the best education for me.  It’s so hard for me to make time to read when there are so many other distractions.  I don’t need to list them, because we all have distractions that allow us to procrastinate. One remedy to this is to listen to books on tape and for me that can be done while walking the dogs or in the car (I do live in California which means lots of car time).  Another remedy is to be inspired to read by...

I just got back from our annual trip back east to visit our families.  This time we decided to make our trip a little shorter than usual so my husband could have some recovery time before he returned to work.  This was a brilliant idea, because unless we are hanging out on a beach, we always need a little vacation after our vacation.  This year we packed our trip even tighter than usual.  First was Pittsburgh, then Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York and back to Philadelphia for our flight home—all in 8 days! I find these trips stressful.  I love to travel, but I’m not a big fan of city hopping.  I’d rather just go to my family in the fall and my husband’s family in the spring, but when you live out west you save a flight by doing it all in one big trip.  Even though I was excited about visiting our families, I usually dread the trip with some major travel anxiety (which I get no matter where I travel, seriously, even if it’s only a 2 hour car ride away).  This year the dread never came.  I was genuinely super exited to get away from Southern California and be with our families no matter how annoying all the flights, car rides and trains would be. I am extremely nostalgic about going home.  In fact, a friend who also moved away from home around the same time I did told me how weird it was that I still called Pittsburgh “home.”  I explained to her, “I have two homes.  Home is my house in Carlsbad and home is where I grew up.”  That feeling has never changed.  Although this time I was surprised by how much I forgot about Pittsburgh.  When...

Cooking is one chore that this nester loves.  But every couple of months I get sick of my cooking.  The internet is obviously a great resource to find new and easy recipes, but sometimes I just need a good-old-fashioned, glossy pictured, hard-covered cookbook to get my imagination flowing again.  When I found out that Jamie Geller (a kosher cook who wrote a great first cookbook that I received as a gift for my wedding) came out with a new cookbook, Quick & Kosher: Meals In Minutes, I bought it immediately. When my cookbook arrived I skimmed through it quickly and was certain there was a number of recipes I would want to try.  Then that evening when my husband came home the domestic wife inside of me fully surfaced when I told him we needed to go over the new cookbook in bed.  That night I came to bed with a notepad, pen, and my cookbook asking my husband what recipes he’d like to try, going over each one.  I really enjoy doing this when I get a new cookbook, but the husband definitely was being tortured and only made it a quarter of the way through. One recipe that really excited me is something that is simple to most: Spaghetti with Turkey Meatballs.  Even though I think I’m a pretty good cook, meatballs were always something that I just could never successfully make.  They’d either come out too dry or they would fall apart in the sauce.  I am happy to say that the Quick & Kosher recipe turned out great.  I altered it a little for my taste and to make it lighter. Here is what I did, slightly altered and lightened up. What you’ll need: 3-15oz Cans Organic Tomato Sauce (doesn’t...

I have a serious case of I NEED A SUMMER VACATION blues!  We usually don’t get one since we always visit our families for a week and half, which usually burns up our vacation time and stamina for our travels.  This year we are still doing that and I am going to Vegas, but still, even with those trips planned I just really need to get away. This has actually been a theme for the year.  We have already taken two long weekend getaways to Palm Springs and Santa Barbara.  I also know we’ll be going to Catalina Island (I just don’t know for how long) this summer too.  These little weekends just don’t seem to satisfy my need for some real R&R.  Now I find myself longing to go to a place I never wanted to go before:  Hawaii! You might be thinking, crazy, why didn’t you want to go to Hawaii before? My answer is not a good one.  As a child I heard it was way too touristy and therefore not fun. To be honest, I’ve gone to many touristy places and have had an amazing time.  I also was a bit of a Bahamas snob, only wanting the still crystal blue water.  Now that has changed and I am dying for a luau, water ice, and volcano hiking. My only problem is that I have learned I don’t know how to plan a budget friendly vacation.  I priced out a bunch of vacation packages to Maui and had decided that the Ritz Carleton is the best deal.  I understand how not true that is, but ever since my honeymoon I have been a vacation princess.  I proclaimed to my husband that we were only allowed to fly first class on...

I’m obsessed with The Real Housewives and quickly that franchise and Andy Cohen have been ruining my life.  Okay, that’s a little over dramatic, but I follow the ladies of the franchise with a kind of interest that is embarrassing.  In fact, it’s something that my husband regularly makes fun of me for.  Do you watch any of them?  Then you would know what I’m talking about: the drama, the lifestyle, all of it, crazy ridiculous and that is why it is so entertaining! My first experience with The Real Housewives was The Real Housewives of New York. I was fascinated by Jill Zarin’s attitude, Roma’s Singer’s hate for Alex’s husband Simon, that there was a Countess living in New York, and finally that Alex was seriously a crazy social climber.  Now in their fourth season they have managed to get even snarkier and downright bitchy towards each other.  I must admit that the Bethany/Jill fight almost lost me as a viewer in the third season, especially since I had grown to love their relationship in the second season when Bethany stayed at Jill’s house.    All these petty fights and lavish details make for good television, but what is it about the reality TV franchise that I like so much more than all the others? For one each city that is featured in the Real Housewives is actually different (as a teenager I also loved Real World and it didn’t matter which city they were in, the storylines were always the same).  Atlanta is really all about the drama, Orange County is about lifestyle, New York is about charity and etiquette, New Jersey is about avoiding Danielle Staub, and the rest of them were just boring.  I think the differences in the cities help...

For the last month I’ve been debating whether or not I should buy the Ipad 2 or the Xoom.  While all my friends are buying and telling me to get the iPad 2, I think I am going to go in a different direction.  That’s why this week I’m going to buy the Xoom, unless you want to talk me out of it. First, I have to admit that Apple deserves props because they actually try to advertise to woman and Android consistently fails to recognize us as a significant demographic.  Just look at this commercial. But beyond advertising the Xoom has some qualities that appeal to me.  First, it will (even though it doesn’t yet) be able to support Flash.  Second, it has a better camera.  Third, Google has officially taken over my life and I wouldn’t know how to live it without my gmail, google calander, google talk and google docs.  Fourth the Xoom has an SD slot for expandable storage. The iPad 2 has some benefits too.  Their apps are more established (although I believe Android will be catching up).  They are lighter and thinner.  Finally, I really love their new Smart Cover (someone please make a Xoom version).  But most of the reasons I can put on the iPad pros side are not major.  I think all tablets need to be lighter in general.  I want one to be at least less than 1 lb.  Apps are 100% subjective.  I have not missed any apps yet by having a Droid instead of an iPhone.  Finally, as much as I do love Apple’s cover, it’s not really a good reason to buy their tablet.   It just proves that Apple likes to include girls in their marketing by making their accessory so...

Sometimes I feel exhausted because it seems like I’ve been on some sort of diet all my life.  I dream of cookies, ice cream, and cake, sometimes just to satisfy my sweet tooth.  I often joke around (although I am mostly serious) and say that when I turn 70 I will “go out” in bed, surrounded by cookies and watching TV, just enjoying TV and getting fat because it doesn’t matter anymore.  But the truth is I really love life and I want to live my life as healthy and long as possible.  My weight has always gone up and down at a reasonable rate, but when I got married I packed on major pounds and I’m still working on getting them off. Recently I put a major dent in the weight loss journey by losing 10 lbs. with a healthy diet and Isagenixs (a protein shake brand that I used for breakfast and lunch).   This month I started to get off the shakes and eat a normal diet again, although as the shakes went away so did my good eating habits.  I noticed that most of my meals were carbs, carbs, and more carbs.  A few days ago I remedied this by sitting down and coming up with some meals that were high in protein and vegetables that I knew how to make quickly. One of those recipes is Oat Cakes.  I learned how to make these in college when I dabbled in the zone diet for a month.  Even when I dropped that fad diet, I still occasional made this recipe because it was high in protein and kind of gave me the feeling like I was eating a pancake.  Here it is.  Give it a try and let me know what...

Living on the West Coast, Oscar night is like a mini-holiday.  While everyone is planning their Oscar viewings I am thinking of the aftermath:  Joan Rivers.  Growing up Oscar night wasn’t about the award winners, but about the best and worst dressed.  Watching Joan and Melissa Rivers critique the A-list celebrities was something I remember watching with my grandmother at a very young age.  Now that my grandmother has passed,Joan River holds a nostalgic place in my heart. My grandmother loved Joan Rivers.  Being born in 1982 I didn’t know much of Joan Rivers as a comedian other than what I saw on E!  And of course I also knew her as a jewelry designer for QVC.  I understand why people make fun of her so much. She has made herself her own running joke, but I always treasured the times watching her with my grandmother. After my grandmother passed, Joan Rivers also seemed to disappear.  She lost her spot on E! and went to the TV Guide Network (who wants to watch programming on a quarter of the screen while the TV schedule is scrolling?).  After a few years with TV Guide she was nowhere to be found for years. When her documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work came out I couldn’t wait to see it and learn more about a legend that I actually knew very little about.  I was surprised how interesting and well done the documentary was.  I know you have heard the rave reviews before, but seriously, if you haven’t watched it yet, go to your Netflix instant streaming now and give the movie a chance.  It really is worth seeing.  After viewing the documentary I understand why my grandmother loved Rivers so much.  She and Joan are a...

I realize that this is coming to you the day after Valentine’s Day, but after having so many people tell me that they don’t celebrate a “Hallmark” holiday, I feel like I must defend V-day and tell you why there is nothing wrong with some Hallmark-inspired romance. First, I should tell you that I am a sucker.  In fact, I am a salesman’s dream.  Therefore I get suckered into the holiday spirit easily (I have very similar feelings about Christmas as I do Valentine’s Day).   Specifically with Valentine’s Day, I love the idea of thinking that everyone in the world is expressing love for each other.  I am sentimental that way.  As a creative writer the Rabbi that married my husband and I seemed to almost expect us to recite a poem, write our own vows, do something of self-expression; but we didn’t.  Instead we recited the same vows that have been a part of the Jewish tradition, finding meaning in the fact that so many before us have showed their love in the same way. How often do you see grand gestures of love anymore?  These days we are usually caught up in our routine and I know when I go out with my husband our meal usually ends with us looking something up on our smart phones.  Valentine’s Day is a chance to slow down and really soak up the company of your loved one. I’ve heard the argument that some people feel they express their love when they want to and that they don’t deny their significant other that expression.  I express my love to my husband.  We say I love you all the time to each other.  Sometimes we buy each other token gifts or thoughtful purchases, and we share...

For the last year whenever anyone asks me how my novel is coming along I always answer, “Like I’ve been saying for the last two years, it’s almost done!”  This running joke had always been my way of reassuring myself of the progress I’ve made, while providing an answer to a question that I don’t like to discuss.  For a while it was the perfect answer, but now my own attitude is bothering me. I have given myself many reasons for why my novel isn’t done yet.  First, it was the moving that disrupted the flow.  Then it was the revolving door of visitors we had.  Finally, it was the lack of having an office and my own space to write in.  Now I’m moved into my own house, we won’t be having visitors for months, and my office is complete with a desk, bookshelf, and my very own couch to lounge on.  So what’s my excuse now?  I have none. This is my first novel and I went into it a bit naively.  I never sat down and sketched out my characters or the plot.  To me it was unnecessary because I saw everything so clearly in my head.  Now this has become my biggest downfall.  About 8 months ago while I was rewriting my novel I decided to redo the whole arc of one of my characters and now I am trying to rethread and expand the story. I am lost in pages, in characters, and in plot.  I’ve tried to get this story straight and done, but now with a regular writing schedule I’ve come to realize that the problem is my disorganization shows all over the place.  I’ve lost steam and confidence in the story and myself.  I will never...

This past summer I told you that I got rid of cable.  I even documented that I was being more productive , but also more obsessive over shows that I loved like Mad Men. I thought once I got rid of my cable networks that it would be easier to resist sitting in front of the tube. I was wrong. The real problem is that I love television. Even though I want to be a novel writer, the truth is that I like television more than most novels (just not my favorites).  Last week my husband and I started to catch up on Men Of A Certain Age. The season finale “Let The Sunshine In” reminded me exactly why I missed television so much.  I knew the characters and I knew what to expect, but they still made me laugh and root for them.  The connection to these characters, much like following a character in a novel, is a long relationship that I can be a part of for years with my favorite shows.  Plus, when I watch TV I don’t have to think so much, which is a good thing at the end of my day. The next day I ordered my cable back, but I didn’t tell my husband.  He has actually been on my case since I cancelled cable to bring it back into our home.  I thought that it would take him a few days to notice that all his favorite channels were back in his house.  I was wrong.  It took 9 minutes.  Oddly enough Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, on Bravo is what caught his attention when I was flipping through the channels.  We began to set all our shows to record (there must be at least 60...

This time of year is supposed to be about giving.  The mad rush on Black Friday is usually about picking up all those great gifts for everyone but you.  At least that is what it’s supposed to be, but I know that I have made it a little about myself too.  This last weekend I gave myself an indulgent trip with a friend that was about no one other than me.  In fact everyone should do what I did this weekend: BE SELFISH! About a year ago I wrote about being LAstalgic and this year I returned to LA for another nostalgic trip, but this time I went to Divine Design an event from Project Angel Food an organization that delivers meals to people who are disabled due to illness.  Their Divine Design event allows people like me to be selfish and give back at the same time.  They have thousands of clothes, accessories, furniture, and makeup donated from designers and name brands in every price range on sale at a discount.  Different days give you a different percentage off the sticker price ranging from 60-90 percent off.  It’s too late for you to attend the event this year, but I suggest you go to their website www.angelfood.org and get on their mailing list for future events. This year I went up with a friend for two days. I have gone to this event in the past and bought amazing dresses that I wouldn’t have been able to afford to have at full price.  This time I snagged more sensible items like casual shirts, a sweater dress, and a pretty everyday skirt.  My friend snagged a beautiful Tracy Reese lace dress that is absolutely stunning.  To cap our shopping day off we went to...

Writing from home as an unpublished author can be a very lonely, but rewarding experience.  For the last year I have been “almost done” with my first novel and each month I keep telling myself it will be ready to be sent out next month.  I’ve come to realize that my biggest problem is finding self-worth in my own work and sticking with good habits. I have two dogs that I have trained really well and quickly, because like many animals my dogs are food-motivated.  I learned that I am a money-motivated person. I’ve decided to start paying myself to do things.  Much like a swear jar, I have a money jar sitting on my kitchen counter that I plan to spend on shopping.  Every time I sit down and write I put another dollar in the jar.  Another habit I’ve adopted is one Ernessa posted a few weeks ago.  I made a commitment to myself to write 20 minutes a day with the plan of doubling it every month until I hit a 2 hour minimum.  Both habits have become successful and I feel like my novel is really about done and I have already begun to outline my second book. I also learned that I need money to motivate myself to do other things.  Cleaning has been something that has been on my mind for a long time (my house has been a mess since the day I got married).  I don’t like cleaning and I just haven’t been able to convince myself to hire someone since I work from home.  I don’t have an excuse to not be able to tidy up the house yet.  My one friend told me she just pours herself a really big glass of wine as...

I always thought owning a house would mean I would have more space than I needed, but I guess like many things in life, it is human nature to want more.  I’ve only owned my townhouse 9 months and I already feel like it’s getting a little too crowded and that’s why I am examining what I really need and what can go. First I donated a few bags of clothing to Goodwill, but sadly my closet barely looked like it was touched.  I thought about getting rid of everything except for two-weeks’ worth of clothes, but just couldn’t make that much of a leap, at least not yet. The second item I own that is a big space hog is my collection of books.  As a writer, and a previous writing major, I have accumulated a large quantity of books that I refuse to let go.  In fact, my books are currently occupying half of my second bedroom in boxes that haven’t been touched in over two years.   If I haven’t touched them in two years doesn’t that mean that I don’t really need them? Need is a really hard word to answer too.  I don’t need a lot of things that I love and enjoy having.  Books have always meant a lot to me.  The writer in me wants to have a huge bookshelf with all sorts of books that people in my house can grab and read at any time.  The physical book is something that I have always loved to have in my hands.  However recently I have been enjoying the convenience of the Kindle and I rarely ever buy non-digital books.  I’ve moved a lot in my life and the idea of just carrying along a Kindle instead of...

As soon as I joined the workforce after college I became addicted to lists.  At first it was the occasional bullet point on post-its all over my computer monitor and then it was a list of daily activities.  My affection for the list developed more when I would take phone calls from my boss and write a list of what they were telling me to do.  This list never carried into my home life until we bought a house. With our home came all sorts of tasks.  I became obsessed with lists and disappointed that I barely ever could do all the tasks I had given myself.  My husband saw this and thought it was crazy.   He told me to do what I can do and forget this lists.  I listened to him and taking care of our home has become less stressful until the last few weeks, which have been extremely hectic for me. My husband was playing rugby and ruptured his achilles tendon.  A few days later my mother-in-law came in town to help me take care of him and then a day after that he had surgery.    Now that my mother-in-law has gone back east I have to be my husband’s personal assistant.  I drive him to work, get everything he needs when gets home, and on top of it I still have my life, my work, our house, and our dogs to take care of. My list obsession has come back.  I panic when I think of everything to do and I jot down the list for relief.  Then when I look at it again I can feel my heart racing, knowing there is no way I can do it all, so I categorize exactly when I will...

I have discussed before how I am constantly trying to do stuff to better my life, but where does bettering my body and soul come in?  For the last year I have been struggling with my post marriage weight gain (my mother warned me after my wedding to watch it because all brides gain 15lbs after their wedding).  After talking to my knee doctor, gynecologist, and acid reflex doctor the consensus was that I really should lose 20lbs.    About a year ago my gym tried to sell me the Isagenix cleanse.  Anything that tells me I can’t eat for two days (which is part of the Isagenix cleanse) is a no go in my book.  However, there have been some events that have now made me a believer in cleansing. Recently I took a private pilates class with a friend and at the end the instructor practiced reflexology on us.   I had never experienced it before, but the instructor insisted that it would especially help me because I have chronic whiplash and therefore major tension.  It was then I discovered that reflexology isn’t nearly as soothing as it sounds; in fact it is the most painful therapy I have ever had. As I was wincing in pain the instructor insisted it was good for me and then at the end, panting in pain, he said, “your chakra is really clogged!” I’m not sure I fully grasp what a chakra is, but I consulted my mother-in-law and she told me it’s not good if it’s clogged.  From my understanding our chakra is almost like our essence.  It’s our energy that flows through our body and soul.  Mine need an unclogging and apparently Benifiber wasn’t going to do the trick this time! The same friend I...

My last three posts have been about television or lack of cable, since I recently cut it out of my life.  Now my mind can’t stop thinking about it.  At first my husband was the one that had a problem giving up on his favorite shows, but now I have come face to face with something I never thought I had: addiction. Addiction is nothing new in my house.  Since I met my husband I have made fun of his addiction.  He can’t get enough of video games (good thing he works in the industry)   and almost every Saturday morning I hear him say “I’m jonesing for…”  fill in the blank with the newest release.  This addiction probably seems harmless, but in the beginning it was a bit of contention in our relationship.  Like any addiction we have now formed it into a part of our lives that has become so much of our routine that to think of it as addiction seems wrong. Now I have come face to face with my addictions.  I always knew that without a morning cup of coffee I was a complete bitch, which was an addiction I was willing to face.  Like video games, my husband and I embraced coffee.  At first, before we were married he would sneak out in the morning and buy me a cup to be sweet and to only see my good side.   Then, as I’ve talked about before, we received a Nespresso machine.  Now coffee is something we both enjoy making and drinking together.  It’s a happy start to both of our days. My  new addiction crept up on me and I wasn’t face to face with it until I shushed my husband for talking over my newfound obsession.  That addiction...

. a favorite blogumn by Debra Goykhman Debra Says: I chose this piece because it still accurately describes what my nest really looks like.  I also think people need to become aware that adopting an animal is a wonderful and necessary mitzvah.  Many people (including my husband at the time of adoption) think shelter dogs are just problem dogs, but even though mine are “double trouble” they are still full of love and sweetness. From March 3, 2009 Tango and Cash aka “Double Trouble” entered my life just a few weeks ago. The handsome duo are two medium size white and tan terrier mixes that my husband and I adopted from our local Humane Society. We were warned that it would take a few weeks for the two to adjust to their new home, but after the first night they were settled. The person who needed the most adjusting was me. I had no idea that within a few days I’d be calling Tango and Cash my babies and really mean that they were my little boys. I also didn’t expect to be so exhausted at the end of the day. I felt like a new mother who no longer had the time to always brush my hair, coordinate my clothing and apply make up in the morning. The biggest adjustment was learning how to be more of an authority figure. My husband had become addicted to The Dog Whisper and decided to follow all of Cesar Millan’s ways. Within a few days he had our dogs sitting on command, walking by his side, and staying where he told them. I was having a different experience with them. When I walk them in the morning I find myself trying to root myself to the ground...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I began my week’s blog with the intent of writing about gardening. But then even with a clear idea in my head I sat in front of a computer screen unable to write more than three sentences  on the subject.  I couldn’t figure out why.  I still want to write about gardening, it is still very much on my mind, but instead my mind went to a blank.  Then I realized my writer’s block stemmed from television and specifically Mad Men. You might think this is a big jump, but let me explain. Last time I wrote about how I cut cable out of my life.  My television watching has gone down, but I still watch television on the internet.  Right now I am finally watching Mad Men and I am currently on season three.  When I first started with season one I found myself inspired to do more writing (I usually get inspired by anything entertaining that I like) then by season two my passion began to ware into a daily habit, until today when I noticed that my Mad Men viewing was making my mind blank. I am now convinced that the show is a drug.  It is truly fascinating and addictive.  I almost like it as much as The Wire (even though The Wire has way more depth to it).  Still, Mad Men has a different hold on me.  I find myself fascinated by all the non-redeeming aspects of the characters and I am most intrigued when nothing is being said.  At least half of the show’s running time must be filled with the characters smoking or drinking in silence and in those moments I think “wow, look at how complex their thoughts must be.”  That...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman When I started graduate school four years ago I moved out into an apartment and lived by myself for the first time.  Without the pressure from others to have cable I was convinced I would try just to buy basic and become a more productive person.  Soon after I moved I received a call from a telemarketer that I actually took.  The man sold me over 100 channels for 25 dollars a month, how could I say no?  I spent a lot of time in graduate school writing at my kitchen table with the sounds of the Food Network in the background.  Then I got married to someone whom I instantly bonded with by talking about movies and television shows, so having cable was a must for us.  Still in the back of my head I wanted to get rid of cable one day, just to see if I could do it.  Finally, last week I convinced my husband that we would be more productive if we got rid of our beloved cable and now it has been six days since we have cut cable out of our lives. I expected to have to withdraw from television the way I would have to withdraw if I was a coke addict, because television has always been my drug.  My first memory of television was my love for Get Smart on Nick at Night.  Once I was fully addicted to the show they moved its time passed my bedtime.  I wrote a letter to the network telling them that I would appreciate it if they would air my show before 9pm since my mother wouldn’t extend my bed time.  I just recently found out that my mother never mailed my...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I remember learning how important Good Housekeeping was as an educational tool to some women in a Women Studies class.  I remember learning how women of the past would read about devices like the microwave, that would make their lives simpler.  I remember my grandmother blaming an older family member’s cancer on the lack of fridges.  That this woman in a generation above her mother couldn’t have enough red meat because they didn’t have a refrigerator or freezer at the time, so she would only have fresh meat once a month.  These devices are rarely appreciated in my daily life.  I can’t remember any days without a microwave, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, food processor, or dryer.  Those are things I use every day, so how could I give them so little thought? One reason I care so little about them is because I honestly don’t care to be too domesticated.  As much as I love being a wife, working from home and cooking, I still don’t love to read or think too much about my daily duties.  But there are a couple of gadgets that I have said, “this has changed my life!”  And I am always looking for more to add to my list.   Here are those gadgets. Nespresso CitZ Espresso Machine Why I love it: Because growing up my mom went out to breakfast almost every day of the week (she actually still does this).   She would eat a meal and sip on coffee for an hour completely relaxed and able to read a book.  It was her escape and she often woke up early so she could do this.  Like my mother, I love the idea of being waited on for my morning coffee,...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman This weekend an old friend of mine from college came to visit.  She was a Russian major and spent a year over in Russia.  After her time spent in Eastern Europe, I have only seen her get excited about food from the other side of the world.  Since I married someone of Ukrainian descent I decided to take this opportunity to embrace my husband’s culture and make a real Ruski dinner. Cooking my husband’s favorite food has been something that has been requested of me since we first met a few years ago.  The first dish he wanted was chicken kotlety, a freshly ground chicken patty, much like an American meatloaf rolled in bread crumbs and fried.  When I found out the first step of cooking the dish was grinding chicken breasts myself, I instantly told my husband, “I’m never doing that, you’ll have to visit your mom for that meal.”  A year later I bought a meat grinder attachment for my KitchenAid, and a year after that I did make the kotlety. It was easy and I am told it was delicious. My embrace of a Russian dinner party led to one of my favorite cooking discoveries, curring my own salmon.  I have tried that one before this meal, but didn’t think the taste was nearly as good as the Costco lox.  Before I curried wild sockeye salmon with just salt and sugar, but this time I added lemon zest, dill and parsley.  I have never had better lox in my life. Of course there was a lot more to the meal—borscht, salad course, caviar, Russian bread, and a little American red velvet cake to represent me.    The night was a pleasure with plenty of courses and...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman The first article I ever wrote for Fierce and Nerdy was about Tango & Cash, my doggies that I adopted from the Rancho Coastal Humane Society (RCHS) when we first moved to San Diego.  Now I have returned to the rambunctious duo after we had a little scare last week.  My husband and I traveled to Philadelphia for my sister-in-law’s wedding.  While we were gone Tango & Cash decided to go on a little adventure of their own. During our second evening in Philadelphia my husband received a call from our dogsitter and I could tell by his “wows!” that it was not good.  An instant overprotective mommy feeling took over my body and I found myself hysterical, questioning, “what has happened to my babies!”  When he hung up I remember him trying to say, “stay calm,” but that was already not going to happen.  Now, before I tell you what happened I have to say it wasn’t the dogsitter’s fault.  We live in Southern California and most people by the coast don’t have air conditioning.  While the dogsitter was at work– she is the kennel manager — Tango & Cash decided to jump through her screen windows and hunt some rabbits in her neighbor’s yard. What happened after that is only theory.  What we all knew was Tango came back to the sitter’s front door by the time she came home and Cash was nowhere to be found.  This is unusual because the two are inseparable.  If you take them away for a minute when they reunite you can hear the violins playing and sniffles from the balcony.  The theory is that they decided to also start jumping fences and Tango (the small but dominate one) couldn’t...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman How do you know when to have a baby? With my husband turning 30 in just a few days the question has been on my mind.  My parents tell me you’re never ready and my in-laws say children are a blessing.   I know we are still young (I’m still in my twenties), but both of our families married and had kids young, so when do I follow? Normally, I wouldn’t even question having babies.  I’ve always known what I wanted.  When I was young the idea of actually birthing a child freaked me out (still does), so I was always saying adoption.  Then when I met my now-husband the idea of having his babies took over and I started picturing having children with him.  He was the opposite at the time, saying, “let’s wait until you’re like 35 and we’ll just have one right after the other!”  When he said this I yelled at him about how hard it is on your body, etc. Now the tables have turned.  As soon as we got married I wanted to be selfish.  I wanted him to myself and our lives to be uninterrupted by add-ons.  He insisted we get two dogs and they were enough for me.   Now, my husband isn’t as scared.  A part of him wants to wait longer (he has seen how hard child rearing can be), but overall as we have grown as a couple and have settled down he is starting to become ready. Even with his support my mind wants the rest of my twenties to myself…or do I!  It turns out I’m starting to think my subconscious does have a ticking clock.  When I see a baby I melt inside and now I...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I never pictured myself completely geeking out on video games for hours in a day.  I grew up with two brothers who always parked themselves in front of a TV for hours playing the next greatest game and I always shock my head thinking, “What a waste of time.”  Like any kid, I loved Duck Hunt and Super Mario Brothers, but only for a half hour at a time.  When Super Nintendo grew out of fashion so did my skills with a controller.  All the new consoles had too many buttons for me so I no longer played any games. Then in my mid-twenties I nested with my husband, who is not just a video game addict, but works in the industry as a graphic engineer.  Before we got married he voiced that his biggest fear was that I wouldn’t understand the amount he games.  He would tell me stories with the biggest smile on his face about how he would buy deli meat and not leave his couch for a weekend while he played video games.  I knew how serious he was and I also knew that that would mean I’d have to try playing with him. Finally I have caved and begun to play the last game he worked on Red Dead Redemption. The first day I played for 5 ½ hours (I promised him a binge day where we ordered pizza and just played. He told me 5 ½ hours was a failure on this promise!).  At the beginning of most video games there are missions you pretty much can’t fail, because they are designed to teach you how to play the game.  I am so bad at using the controller in a 3D world...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman When I got married I had never planned to be a housewife.   I’ve always been career driven, not domestically driven.  However, the short version of my married life is that due to the down turn of the economy, like many others, I am now working part-time from home. I fill the rest of my day with my writing, but I still take responsibility for my home. Life isn’t so easy to compartmentalize.   My husband has been putting in many hours at work, so I find that being at home, my job has now become partially keeping  the home in order.  Instantly, I felt like a failure in this aspect.   I can’t always have a warm dinner ready when my husband gets home, the house gets cleaned maybe twice a month, my dogs are like my children and they are taken care of, but my home is still not set up completely.  My husband doesn’t care, but I do, mostly because I think back on the image of the 50s housewife as a comparison. So what does it mean to be a modern day housewife?  I certainly know I’m not the only one in this situation.  I know many women who, while intending to work full-time, find they are only able to get part-time work at the moment.  And I’m sure there are still many women out there who have paused their search for a job and are taking care of the home until the economy picks back up. The definition of a housewife has changed.  The Real Housewives franchise doesn’t seem to have any straight definition of what a housewife looks like.  Some are married, some work, some have kids, and none do any daily domestic chores.  Does...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Passover, my favorite holiday has just arrived.  Most people don’t favor Passover–  your diet changes, the holiday requires lots of cleaning, and an extremely long meal with a big story that usually gets dragged out even longer every year.  Traditionally you are supposed to clean your house before the holiday—a bit of a religious spring cleaning.  My mother always kept Passover, but my father didn’t, so she would have a clean corner to keep kosher for Passover food.  It looks like my house has become no different than my mothers.  My husband has no interest in keeping to a matzos and boiled egg diet for the next week, so I don’t really need to do a spring cleaning for the holiday.  However, traditions have become born within me so I feel that no matter what I still must embark on a spring cleaning process.  Cleaning once every spring is a time for me to reflect on my years past and to reorganize until next spring.  It’s a little bit like a New Year resolution for me. Now with a new three-bedroom house (as opposed to a small apartment), two dogs and a husband, I find myself lost and overwhelmed with the cleaning and reorganizing for the year.   I often feel like my nest is a metaphor for my life—sporadic, unorganized, and all over the place.  So what is a girl to do?  My mother never taught me how to clean or organize.  I could always organize a desk, but a house– that’s a whole other story.  My worst problem is I don’t have enough furniture to store all my stuff in!  No matter how much I clean, I still feel like my home looks a mess. My best...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman This spring my husband will be coming off of a project and will have some time to take a vacation.  Therefore, over the last month I have been spending several hours dreaming about where to go.  I’ve looked through my favorite sites like travelzoo.com and luxurylink.com to plan possible trips to Italy, France, Australia and Hawaii!  However, I’m not going to any of those places, because we just recently became homeowners. So this spring we have decided to treat ourselves to central air instead of a vacation.  Still he’s going to take time off and I could use some time away from home.  I love working from home, but I get a “cooped up” feeling.  My solution is to revisit the weekend getaway. Now that I consider myself to be a California girl it’s time for me to see more than just Los Angeles, San Francisco, Sonoma or San Diego.  I’ve lived in California for almost 3 years and I have spent way more weekends escaping to Las Vegas than any of the treasures that California has to offer. Now it’s time for me to take time to see Joshua Tree, Yosemite, Palm Springs, Santa Barbara, and all the other nooks California has to offer.  For my first California getaway I don’t want to drive more than 3 hours from my Carlsbad home, so my debate is between Palm Springs or Santa Barbara. One of my problems when picking a vacation getaway is that I married the opposite type of vacationer (something I learned on my honeymoon).  My husband loves to be active and I love to lounge, eat and drink.  My vacation can happen anywhere that is warm with a pool and my husband’s vacation requires a...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I feel settled in my life in many ways.  I am married and comfortable with my partner, I have a home that is almost unpacked, and I have recipes that I repeat every week without even having to think about what I’m going to make.  It’s like I have fallen into a rhythm that I had only observed, when I was younger, from my mother and her friends.  Now that I am a settled I am ready to unsettle things. Being newly nested was learning how to fit my life and my husband’s life into a cohesive union.  Now with that somewhat complete, I decided it was time to evolve a little.  The beginning of my new journey began with the one thing that is always on my mind: food. I thinking the best way for me to shake up the food thing is by trying different types of food.  I recently went to a Middle Eastern themed party and tried dishes I would have never eaten before.  Now I’m trying to bring a little ethnicity into my own kitchen.  Currently I am obsessing over Greek cuisine.   The next step is in my work/creative life.  I have decided to go old school and schedule my life like I’m in elementary school again.  I plan my morning activities, my recess, and my afternoon to give a yin/yang balance to my life.  Now I spend half my day working on my textile business and the other half crafting my novel, which always seems to be “almost done.” Finally, I am going to start trying some new things, like meditation gardens, beach walks, and going to new parts of town!  This is something everyone should try in their life once...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman This week I have been a schizophrenic when it came to writing this blog.  My mind has bounced from discussing my doggies bad house manners (in our new home), my new Cole Haan addiction, and perhaps even daring to share some healthy cookies that I love.  Even though those things have raced through my mind over the last couple of weeks, the real topic that hasn’t left my Southern Californian home is the snowfall that my family has endured back east. This week my mother sent me her first text message.  I was so proud of her for finally being able to text (my mom has been scared of technology all her life).  To this day she still refuses to hook up her work computer to the internet.  The occasion for this text message was a picture of my parents back deck, covered in feet upon feet of snow.   Coming from Pittsburgh, PA, snow is not a big deal, but blizzards are rare. When I first signed on to Facebook after the blizzard and saw all of my old friends posting their snowy pictures I was a bit sad.  I kind of wished I could have been there to see the snowfall.  I have fond memories of my first blizzard—the blizzard of ’93.    I remember that great feeling of having an excuse to stay in, eat comfort food, and watch an endless amount of movies.  I even remember walking my maltese dog in the snow and having her fall in a big mound that had formed from shoveling (funnily enough, my husband also has memories of walking his dog in the aftermath of the blizzard too). Now, the current blizzard, which could arguably be worse than the ’93...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been spending my days thinking about a way to make the day less girly and more fun for my husband.  Valentine’s was never anything my husband and I really celebrated elaborately, not because I didn’t want to (even if it was cheesy, I did want all the bells and whistles), but because our schedules never matched up. While we were dating, we were never in the same city and then during our first year of marriage we were in the middle of moving and had my brother in town during the holiday.  This is the first Valentine’s Day where we have no excuse to not celebrate.  Now that a Valentine’s together is a real possibility, it has occurred to me how much Alan (my husband) wouldn’t enjoy most of the things I would want to do that day. Here is how my perfect holiday would look: breakfast in bed that I didn’t make, a stroll in the sand, a fancy and elaborate dinner.  Alan’s would look like this: a big breakfast in front of the TV, a swim in a warm ocean, and a casual dinner at home.   The easiest part of figuring out Valentine’s Day was looking at our bank account.  As much as I’d love to spend hundreds of dollars right now on a pampering, we just bought a house and would really enjoy fixing it up even more.  So our compromise was to spend money on the gifts not on the dinner. Even though I love my fancy meals out, it’s way more fun to see what your significant other has picked out for you than feeling bloated during the most romantic holiday of the year. However,...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman A few weeks ago I wrote about my home buying experience, mostly discussing how hard it was for me to accept the size difference in homes going from a cheap city to a bustling expensive city on the west coast.  I am happy to share that within weeks my husband, Alan, and I found “the one” and are now homeowners.  Finding our house felt much the same way when I first met Alan.  As soon as I walked through the front door I knew it just felt right.  Even though the house we now own isn’t what I would call big, it still meets all my special requirements (fitting a dining room table and a decent size living room) and it’s only 2 miles from the ocean! After we closed on our house we went on a vacation and when I returned I found that a spot on my wall was so wet that I could stick my finger through it.  I wasn’t living in the new house yet, but we already had our first leak.  You may be thinking what my brother was brave enough to ask me, “Did you buy a money pit?”  I hope not and I think not, but time will tell.  It turns out fixing a leak and patching a wall is a bit of a money-making business.  The effected area is the size of a tile but I had people quote me $1000 just to rip up the wall and dry it out.  I wasn’t going to spend that and now I have learned what my mother always told me, finding a good handy man is just about the best thing you can do as a homeowner.  Fingers crossed, I think I...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman It’s my favorite time of the season.  For days I’ve been walking around the house singing Christmas carols and Chanukah songs while I’m alone.  My favorite repeated lines are always, “Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.  And since we have no place to go, let it snow, let is snow, let it snow!”  Now that the east coast is literally flooded with snow, I am no longer looking forward to heading in that direction in the upcoming weeks. It’s not even the family time that the holidays bring that stress me out.  It’s the weather.  I have finally become Californian, not because I’ve lived here for a few years, or because I bought a house.  I am California because anything below sixty is unbearable.  One thing that amazes me about being out west is how far we are from even thinking about the weather.  Therefore, a winter coat does not exist in my small town.  They only carry polyester coats that lay at your waist.  This winter I am braving the east not just with my Californian skin, but also my lack of preparation. Traveling for the holidays is more than just whining about the weather.  There are the winter memories that I cannot get out of my mind: sled riding and drinking homemade cocoa, heavy winter meals, and losing myself in a big blanket while I finish a book.  Then there are the family memories: movie nights, Italian night, and banter about some new television show that both my brother and me discovered around the same time.  So even though I might dread the atmosphere I am entering, the holiday time is still warm and fuzzy.  Where is your holiday taking...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman The other day I was out to dinner with some single friends and on the topic of marriage, one said, “I don’t know if I can live with someone because I’m not sure about sharing the TV.”  I honestly never thought of television being a hurdle, but in reflection upon my own marriage I  realized that the television is one of the hardest things to share. I even remember as a kid that my brothers and I would have days where the television was ours.  On Wednesday I always got to pick my shows without argument.  This was the only way I could have a civilized evening with my brothers because we never, until recently, enjoyed watching any of the same programs. When I first met my husband the first things we bonded over were movies and television shows.   Now that the love at first sight eyes have worn off, he has told me that I have bad taste in shows.  He isn’t wrong.  My taste in television is inconsistent. I’m obsessed with reality programs like the Real Housewives franchise, but also love more widely accepted shows like Fringe and 30 Rock.  I have no television focus other than the fact that I love to curl up in my blanket and get lost in a world outside of my own. The struggle over the remote in our house hasn’t been too difficult or too easy.  My husband, the gamer, has a 60-inch screen, so watching TV is a treat.  He likes to occupy his evenings with games, but I’d rather catch up on all my shows later at night.  To remedy this he insisted on buying me a television in our bedroom.  He called it “my TV.”  When...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman With Thanksgiving around the corner I am feeling extremely domesticated.  I have had turkey on my mind for the last two weeks.  It all goes back to plane fare.  We usually always go to Philadelphia or Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving, so there are absolutely no turkey expectations in my life.  I’ve only been concerned with side dishes and am quite an expert at them.  However, this year the plane fares were outrageous and my husband’s schedule has been too busy to take time off of work.  The idea of going to Denny’s for a feast sounds fine to me, but Thanksgiving is one of my husband’s favorite holidays since it’s non-religious.  Therefore, the nice wife that I am, I have decided to make a big meal at home. My intimidation to cooking a turkey is really my mother’s fault.  Every Thanksgiving morning my mother would wake up at 7:00 am to begin cooking her massive turkey.  When I would wake up at 11 am I would find her crouched over the sink, her eyes still glazed with sleepiness, as she ran cold water over the bird while cursing.  Yes, every year my mother’s turkey was always still frozen the day of Thanksgiving.  When I would ask her how long she had been trying to help along the defrosting process she would answer back, “hours.”  Not only would my mother always have a terrible morning on the holiday but she also made me neurotic about hosting holidays.  I’ve learned from her to know exactly what I am doing days before—to have a menu made, to have the shopping done, and to begin cooking as far back as a week before.  With Thanksgiving coming up I began to realize how clueless...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman While all of my friends have been toting around iPhones I have been stuck with a normal LG phone. Just last week my husband, who is on Sprint’s plan, bought the most recent Sprint version of the Google phone.   Even though he was happy to be out of the Palm world he was still complaining that his new Samsung Moment is nothing compared to the Verizon Droid.  Therefore his new phone goal became to convince me (I’m on Verizon) to buy the Droid, which was just released this past Friday. I love my Mac.  Therefore, an iPhone has been a dream purchase of mine for years.  But I didn’t want to switch to AT&T for a variety of reasons.  With the Droid’s release came my hope to change my life.  How?  Looking up addresses, information, prices, email, all while on the road and with a handy smart phone.  Having the Droid was going to be a huge time saver.  Yet I was still hesitant.  When I looked at my husband’s new phone I scrunched up my nose, put it in my hand and said, “it’s too heavy.”  Even though I went to a nerd school, I don’t think like a nerd or a boy.  I think like a typical girl.  I’m not excited about the 3G network, the widgets, or the new Google navigation.  I get excited about how pretty the application boxes look on the iPhone, how slender the iPhone is and how little weight it’s going to add to my already heavy purse.  This all drives my husband crazy.  The only enthusiasm we share for smart phones is how much practicality it can bring in our lives. My husband eventually convinced me to go get the...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman My husband used to traditionally visit his hometown of Philadelphia to celebrate his birthday.  Before we got married (4 months before) my husband continued this tradition and flew from Los Angeles to Philadelphia, while I drove to there with my brother from Pittsburgh, PA to share a birthday celebration for the first time with my future in-laws.  I remember this trip so vividly because it was one of the first times I truly felt like I belonged in my new family.  The ladies in the family cooked meals together, shared recipes, and I was given the honor of presenting Alan (my husband) with his birthday cake.  Additionally my brother, who had never met my in-laws, was welcomed into the family as if he had been around for years.  It was a trip that was comforting and the “I’m seeing the parents” nerves began to vanish.    One element that brings people together is “breaking bread.”  There was plenty of eating, but the communal cooking is always a great sharing point.  One dish that stuck with my brother and me was plov, which means pilaf or meat and rice.  My mother-in-law made a plov dish with steak, garlic, onions, rice and carrots.  It was so good that my brother and I continued to talk about it all the way back to Pittsburgh.  I tried to recreate the recipe with lamb and prunes, which is one of many variations.  Something was slightly off so I didn’t try the recipe again until recently. Just a few weeks ago I made a trip to Boston and visited another friends and we went to her parents house for dinner.  There we had plov with chicken.  Once again it was absolutely delicious.  There I...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I am a girl from Pittsburgh living in San Diego who always thinks she wants to go back home.  Yes the weather is beautiful in San Diego, but home is filled with some many wonderful memories like long girls nights out, family dinners at our local Italian restaurant, and Steelers games. I am always nostalgically planning  trips back to the coast where I think I belong. The problem is I really haven’t lived on the East Coast for a while and until recently I have never really thought of Southern California as my home.  I’ve only lived in San Diego for a couple of months, but I lived in Los Angles after I graduated college and later when my now husband was relocated there for a few months.  I never thought I would want to visit somewhere on the West Coast with the same nostalgic intensity as Pittsburgh, but recently I had been dreaming of going back to visit Los Angeles to see some sites, eat some yummy food and visit some great friends.  This is strange because while I was actually living there, I  hated LA — the traffic, the people, the crowds, and the cost. Going back to a place you once hated is kind of like going to a high school reunion.  Sure the memories of high school were bad, but couldn’t it be fun to take a trip down memory lane?  I thought the same about LA; it was going to be fun to experience the city during a different time in my life. The drive was easy , except for the brief amount of traffic on the 405 just as I got to LA (here in San Diego people always complain about traffic...

Well, you might have noticed a change in my mood (picture) and yes, that means that I’ve finally finished my big HarperCollins rewrite. I could not be happier about this, and I’m super-excited to get back to the second novel, even if I’m not sure it will sell, since it’s way outside of my first novel’s genre. Ah well, at least I have the stability of your comments here on FaN. Check out our best of from below: HELLO FRIDAY Best Line From A Post You Should Have Read: [If] you look at a pair of tomatoes a certain way, and you cup them in your hands, and you’re maybe a little hard up, you might possibly think of breasts or testicles.  The French did call them “apples of love.” — Roya Hamadani, Fierce Foodie: Nice Tomatoes PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: The Great Wide Betty, in which I wondered what Betty will be like when she grows up. Polly: You can discover a child every single day as they change and grow into a citizen of the world. This is one of the great joys of having a child in your life. Just knowing them is an adventure. OH, IT’S TUESDAY re: NewlyNested: $300,000 For A Miniature House, in which Debra Goykhman lamented shopping for a house Southern California. DebraB: We just bought a house in the LA area and, yeah, it is super expensive. I don’t know where your hometown is, but mine is in middle of nowhere Texas. Yes, I could have gotten a mansion for the price I paid for my modest one story here, but then…I’d be living in middle of nowhere Texas. So, first, you have to stop comparing the market here to anywhere else. Pay more attention to the...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman As previously mentioned this Nester is looking for a new nest.  Like most people we are sick of paying rent that is higher than a mortgage for the same house, so we are now looking into buying a home.  I thought house hunting was going to be super fun—like shoe shopping– but I was wrong.  Instead house hunting is much more like the dating scene.  Here is why. 1.    I have never lived in one apartment over a year and there is no easy way out of a mortgage. The thought of committing doesn’t just scare me, but it makes me question myself and what I like.  Do I like the floor plan?  Can I see myself living in this amount of space forever?   Will I like the neighborhood?  Will I get along with the neighbors? When dating these questions are guy focused.  Do I really like him or is it lust?  Can I really stand to spend so much time with him?  Will I get along with his friends?  It’s all pretty much the same. 2.    First impressions are important.  With a house, I have to hope that I will look good on paper. When I want something so bad, like our hypothetical dream house I worry that the seller won’t like the “image” I present?  Kind of like impressing a crush and trying to make that killer first impression. 3.    Then there is panic.  How many times do I have to search for a house before I see something I like?  Why do all the ones I like get snatched up by someone else?  How many times do I have to have my heart broken before I find the one?  Similar to the frustration of endless...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Alan and I are getting closer to ending our period of being newlyweds.  Come a month and we will have had a year under our belt as a married couple.  I hear the first year I am supposed to give the gift of paper, so together we are searching for a deed to a house, which I will discuss next time. I’ve come to realize over the year that my Newly Nested life is not just mine but also my husband’. Over time we have embarked on new healthy plans both diet and supplement wise.  We’ve learned to downsize our consumer habits (one of the hardest things to do when making the transition from being single to married). And we are learning who we are as a couple and surrounding ourselves with people that fit both (not just one) of our personalities in the new area that we live in. So is the first year of being married really as hard as they say?  I remember being obsessed with knowing the answer to that question when my older brother got married.  Every time I spoke to him I would ask “how’s married life?”  I’m sure he was annoyed by the third time.  Married life has been much easier for me than single life.  Whenever I doubt myself I have someone to tell me why I’m being silly.  When I can’t sleep I always have someone to chat with late at night. The real hard part about nesting together is the big decisions like where to go for the holidays or how big our next TV should be (he likes big and I like medium).  Mostly the biggest adjustment is absorbing each other’s life– family, friends, and culture.  The...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Beans.  They seem to be following me around in life.  I guess beans really can’t follow you around, but they have certainly been on my mind like caffeine in the morning.  As I have discussed in the blog before, I have been seeing a dietician with my husband so that we can change our lifestyle.  “Embrace the beans,” was a repeated phrase in our meetings and it continues to echo in my mind every time I search for something to eat. I grew up with a mom who ate beans daily, but honestly the bean never was something that I was into.  The texture creamy inside and the tough skin outside were too much of a contrast for me.  The only beans I wanted to touch were in hummus, which now with a new sesame allergy is no longer a dish I can take part in.  Still, I knew beans where a new important healthy dietary gem.  Not only was my dietician a fan, but also I have since come across books and magazine articles on the product.  So why beans? You can never eat to many.  Our bodies do not process fiber like other forms of carbohydrates and you can actually subtract the fiber calories and consider the remaining calories the ones your body will process.  Beans are extremely high in fiber.  More specifically soluble fiber, which is the kind of fiber that helps get rid of fat and cholesterol (the other type of fiber (insoluble) just makes you “go”). If you are like me and aren’t ready to fully embrace the texture of a bean then you should try this recipe: Toasted Chick Peas What you’ll need: 1 can chick beans drained and rinsed, 1/2tsp salt,...

Whatta week, and is it me or has this summer going by incredibly fast? How is it almost Fall already? Anywho, I’m a little too exhausted today to think up a good transition, so I’ll just say, here are the best comments of the week: HELLO FRIDAY re: FIERCE ANTICIPATION: August 14-16, in which Ryan compared Madden 10 to Oedipus. With a straight face. He also claimed his out-of-work roommate of watched Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos all day. His roommate shot back with libel accusations. Joe: I have NEVER watched Jerry Springer or Maury Povich in the apartment. And I don’t know who Steve Wilkos is. Ryan’s just wants to protect the stores of Diet Coke in the apartment. I have to walk past him to the kitchen to get a drink, and I feel like Bilbo Baggins sneaking past the dragon Smaug to burgle something from his hoard of jewels. PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: Single White Nerd: Wherefore Art Thou Creepy, in which Michael Kass asked readers to explain the motivations of aggressive creepy guys — so that he can avoid becoming one himself. AmyQOTWF: The creepy guy is like that because every so often a lady is so drunk or creepy herself that it works out for him. I have watched, in shocked amazement, at least a few times as the guy who was lean-y, aggressive and inappropriate with me earlier in the night, left the bar with a female. Creepy desperate chicks exist too and they aren’t helping the cause to chase off the creep. OH, IT’S TUESDAY re: NewlyNested: The First Rule of Book Club, in which Debra Goykhman goes from being an academic snob to a book club afficionado. Anne: I started a book club at our last house...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Photo Credit: infowidget Just a little over a year ago I was still in graduate school on the east coast and newly engaged.  I was also writing my final research paper on Oprah’s Book Club and women’s education, embarking on the question: does Oprah’s book club offer the same educational benefits as book clubs did for women during the times when women weren’t allowed an education?  Like most of my fellow creative writing graduate students, I had a bit of snobbery towards book clubs.  I thought that there was no way these gatherings could be nearly as stimulating as taking oneself super-seriously and writing a research paper or embarking on novel writing. My snobbery was not in a vacuum.  My first year in graduate school the sentiment was there by most of us (not all) and I even remember a old Professor rolling her eyes while discussing how draining it was to speak to a book club about her work.  How they don’t  ask meaningful at all questions. Now that I have graduated, gotten married, and moved to another coast to an area where I know almost no one, I have had numerous people suggest I join a book club.  My bias hadn’t completely gone away, but I figured the worst that could happen was that I’d get to read a book and have to have a boring conversation about it.  The best would be that I liked the book and met some friends.  I didn’t just join one book club, but I joined two.  One through meetup.com and the other through a young professionals organization (however half the group is unemployed).  Within my first meeting I realized that all the bias I had developed had been completely...

Having written a book that somewhat revolves around the movie, Sixteen Candles, I’m still reeling from John Hughes death, but at least I have this week’s comments to give me comfort. HELLO FRIDAY re: FIERCE ANTICIPATION: July 31-August 2, in which Ryan Dixon confesses to cheating on The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York by Robert A Caro, by diddling around w/ a bunch of other books at the same time. What a slut! Joe: The way I see it, as long as you don’t read another book in the apartment with The Power Broker, you’re golden. Be respectful of your book, but what The Power Broker doesn’t know won’t hurt it. PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: Hippie Squared: A True Love Story About True Love, in which Jeff Rogers told us an oh-so-romantic story about an WWII officer forced to leave his true love behind in Japan after being denied permission to marry her by General MacArthur to marry her. One commenter and myself thought the officer was being a bit of a true love wuss by leaving his true love behind, but another commenter pointed this out: Molly: Sweet story! You didn’t say, but I expect the reason he had to ask permission during wartime is b/c he could have been charged w/ some sort of treason, aid & comfort to the enemy, throw in military jail, or worse. Not just a simple matter of deference to authority. OH, IT’S TUESDAY re: NewlyNested: The (Strange) Dog Days of Summer, in which Debra Goykhman told us about a blind Border Collie w/ his own seeing-eye dog and the dye in blue M&Ms being a possible cure for back pain. Don’t ask. keldoo: Border Collies are one of my weak spots. And...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykman Any one who knows me knows how obsessed I am with animals.  Seriously, I could go on for hours, maybe even days, talking about animals.  People should be warned before they meet me that if they come up and show any interest in my two newly adopted dogs, Tango and Cash, that I will talk off their ear. I’m going to spare you going on and on about my dogs today, but I did want to share some strange animal stories with you. First, the UK Telegraph ran a bleeding heart piece on two border collies named Bonnie and Clyde.  It turns out Clyde has gone blind and Bonnie is now serving as his seeing-eye dog.  She leads him around wherever they need to go.  Sounds like a typical male/female relationship.  You can check out the full story here. Second, do you want to learn how to make fish shaped cake with bean paste?  I don’t, but Francis the dog seems to think it’s a culinary delight.  Check out “Cooking With Dog” — you honestly only need to watch the first 30 seconds: Third, can blue M&Ms help my back problems?  I knew there was a reason I was insanely drawn to only the blue ones.  I’m not sure what to think of this story.  I must admit it’s a bit cruel.  Scientists at The University of Rochester Medical Center dropped heavy weights on rats’ lower backs and then decided to inject them with the same blue dye that’s in M&Ms and Gatorade.  The weird thing is this plan actually worked and the rodents were able to walk again with only two side effects: limping and turning blue (not the Russian kind).  You can check the story out...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman My husband believes human kind will achieve the ability to live forever within our lifetime.  I am curious about his belief.  I know when my husband says something that has to do with biology that he has done some extensive scientific reading to prove or theorize the claim.  This time it wasn’t so extensive, but more of a star-struck following of one man’s work who did have some scientific evidence. The man that my husband has chosen to believe is Ray Kurzweil.  The term that describes what he believes is called the “singularity.”  The particular Kurzweil book that inspired my husband is called The Singularity is Near.  The book released in 2005 was not the start of Kurzweil’s career or the term “singularity.”  In fact, the idea of the singularity has been around since the sixties, but now Kurzweil’s theories have found a place in pop culture, referenced to in Our Lady Peace’s 2001 album Spiritual Machines and the TV series, Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles. The argument of man transcending into machine is a valid and intriguing one that has always fascinated me.  Now living with a machine enthusiast, I have a better idea of how mankind, in theory, can still exist in machines.   The explanation that has worked for me is basically that one day man’s evolution will ultimately evolve and continue through technology…  It’s a little more reasonable then Terminator’s doomsday theory, but still hard to fully grasp and understand.  I’m afraid to do that you must attend a lecture or read a book. I am not preaching that we will become machines, but I am curious where technology will take us and what is out there for us to take advantage of.  One thing...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Photo Credit: EraPhernalia Vintage I had my in-laws visiting and staying with us for the last two weeks for the first time.  Honestly, even if you like your in-laws I thought I would surely want to kill them. I come from a weird family that never stays with each other during our travels.  When my parents come to visit me they stay at a hotel and only request to see my house for 4 hours during one meal.  The rest of the time it’s always going out around the town.  So my mind was reeling. What I was going to do with my in-laws with so much time? First of all, it turns out they love the television even though whenever I visit them they barely turn theirs on.  Hours and hours of movies were watched of their choosing.  But second, and most importantly, I bonded with my mother and sister-in-law on the great womanly topic of shoes. The problem with the shoe scenario is that my in-laws don’t know I was previously a shoe addict. How bad?  Try buying at least four new pairs of shoes a week.  I had managed to temporarily cure myself.  I even donated half my shoes before my last move, leaving me with only three shoe racks instead of a whole shoe closet.  I have everything a girl already needs, but in my shoe curing process I stopped buying expensive shoes and only stuck to DSW clearance racks.  Occasionally I would find something like my Michael Kors black sling backs for $29.95, but mostly I was wearing not so exciting brands.  In a way I lost my appreciation for good shoes. Three times (yes three times) my in-laws stopped at this fabulous...

Warren Beatty, Clive Cussler, Darth Vader, and OKKKKKKKKKK-lahoma all showed up in this week’s comments. Check it out: HELLO FRIDAY re: Fierce OR Nerdy: Bank Error in Your Favor, in which slpc presents us with the ethical dilemma of whether we would run off with millions of dollars that were accidentally deposited into our bank accounts or return it. Of course she used a picture of Bonnie and Clyde to illustrate all of this. (Thought) Chuck: You have to admit that, scruples aside, given the opportunity to escape with a young, totally gorgeous Warren Beatty at the wheel of a hot 1930’s vintage car to the tune of “Foggy Mountain Breakdown,” who WOULDN’T run?!?!?!?! PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: Single White Nerd: The Break-Up Bookshelf, in which Michael Kass puts forth the theory that putting a lot of bad books on display might be a great, no-conflict way to get a girl to break up with you. SeaKat: I really think you should throw in a series of Clive Cussler novels. Nothing says “RUN from this man” like a little Dirk Pitt. One or two could be passed off as a gift, though, so you’ll need to invest in at least a dozen. Don’t worry, I’m sure you can get them for pennies at the local used book store. OH, IT’S TUESDAY re: NewlyNested: Looking for a Father’s Day Gift? in which Debra Goykhman gives a bunch of suggestions for fun F-Day gifts. Sadly, one of our commenters had already been burned by one of her picks: the Carnivorous Bug-Eating Garden. Josh Grelle: I got that bug eating garden for my brother, but it didn’t work…. : ( WOW! IT’S WEDNESDAY re: Buy Me This: Death Star BBQ Grill, in which CH geeked out over a...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Father’s Day gifts have never been my strong suit, but on top of having to buy gifts this year for my father and father-in-law, I also have to come up with birthday gifts for my husband and father-in-law too.  To add pressure to the gift buying situation all of the events are in a two week span.  I swear men are the hardest people to buy gifts for.  My husband only likes things that cost above $300 and there are only so many times I can give him golf balls, picture frames, video games, and DVDs for Father’s Day.  That is why I was pleasantly surprised by a phone call I received from my little brother.  He said:  “Do you think [your husband] Alan will like talking toilet paper?”  That is when I searched the web for these eight interesting gift ideas: 1. The infamous talking toilet paper.  For the low price of 14.98 you can have your toilet paper programmed to say anything you want every time you pull a sheet. 2. A remote control hand that can work up to 50ft away!  For just 29.98. 3. For those who like The Little Shop of Horrors, a bug eating garden for just 21.98.  Also known as the “Carnivorous Eating Garden.” 4. For those with a green thumb, you can buy a bonsai from ProFlowers.com for 29.95. 5. The Harmony Universal remote by Logitech (a favorite of my husbands).  It can control almost everything (you need an adaptor for the playstation) and has a heavy price at 249.99.  Sometimes you can find the Harmony on sale at amazon.com. 6. For the cook you can purchase an electric turkey fryer.  While grilling tools seem like more of a Father’s...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman When I was a child I saw Fame for the first time and instantly thought I could do some serious dance moves.  The music moved me, but the sad truth is that I might not have two left feet. I defiantly lack some serious coordination and rhythm.  So there was no major dance sequences in my life…. until I joined my local gym. Photo by Gauri Lama I am seriously obsessed with my gym for many reasons (I’ll get back to the dancing in a second).  First off, it’s the kind of gym that I don’t have to worry about getting the alcohol to wipe the machines down.  There is so much cleaning staff around to do that, so while the gym is the last place for laziness, I can definitely be a lazy person while I’m there. Second, there’s a TV on each piece of cardio.  If I can get lost in The Daily Show, CNN, or E! then I am a happy sweater.  And the biggest reason I like my gym is because the people there aren’t too chatty, but yet still friendly. For the first time I felt comfortable trying out a work out class by myself. So one day I found myself at the gym, standing on the wooden floor in the aerobic room with several other women and a sprinkle of men. When the two instructors came in they announced:  “This is Zumba.  We give no instruction.  Just have fun.” The latin/hip-hop inspired music (mostly all in Spanish) began and so did the dancing. It was like my dreams of being a part of Fame. People were shaking, swaying, jumping, and twirling as a group.  At first, I admit I was nervous.  The...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman I am seriously obsessed with ice cream.  My ideal time to eat ice cream isn’t necessarily on a sunny day, or after a hard day, or even after a devastating break-up.  My preferred time for ice cream is for breakfast, after all what better way could a day begin? Of course there are a million diet reasons not to eat ice cream for breakfast and so those days left after the summer of 98’. Photo by Robert Montalvo When I moved to San Diego my husband and I began a Sunday tradition of having brunch at one of our local diners.  That’s when I discovered the not so secret acai bowl (thank-you local bikers).  In Pittsburgh, PA, where I grew up, no such delight would be offered as a legitimate breakfast.  A typical acai bowl consists of granola, almonds, berries, mango, a huge serving of acai sorbet and a sprinkle of shaved coconut on top.  In a way it’s like a fruity ice cream Sunday. Another way the acai bowl is served is smoothie style.  Sounds like it would be served in a cup with a straw, but not the case.  It’s a very thick smoothie, almost as thick as pudding, poured over all the same toppings that the sorbet version has.  This would be a good option for those who are used to eating their ice cream in “soup” form. Most folks can get their acai fix in the local supermarket.  A little over a year ago Haagen Daz released a Private Reserve Acai Sorbet.  I am also told that markets like Whole Foods offer a frozen bar version imported from Brazil. Other than making for a tasty frozen dessert, the acai berry does have some serious...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Cable is frustrating.  The prices are outrageous.  There’s barely customer service.  There are very few deals (I can get HBO for free —  if I spend $165 a month).  I would switch to satellite, but apparently I bought the wrong TiVo and I just can’t part with my new friend, not yet.  The truth is I was blessed with good cable luck all my life.  In my first apartment my roommate’s boyfriend tapped into the building’s cable via TiVo and we received all the channels plus the security cam.  Then when I lived on my own, for the first time, I decided to listen to a telemarketer.  That man gave me 200 channels plus HBO with Comcast for $30 a month.  Now that I’m married and moved it seems my luck with cable is over and I’m now dealing with the love/hate relationship that everyone else has with their cable provider. Photo by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com My new outrage comes from Time Warner’s new business plan that might force my hand to part with my new TiVo and move to satellite.  Recently, Time Warner have tested metered billing for Internet users in a few select cities.  The pitch was that customers who don’t use the Internet as much could pay less and those that use more could pay more.  In theory this might seem like a good idea, but it’s not.  The cap for this plan was $150 and for me, like many others, that is a large amount more than the $39.99 I am currently paying. The good news is that recently Time Warner has announced they are suspending the plan for now (thank-you bloggers for venting how upset we all are over this whole crazy idea). ...

I think this week’s FNotB comments can best be described as gross, metaphorical, hypothetical helpful and informative. HELLO FRIDAY re: Procrastinate on This!, in which we directed you to a post about two sisters not only eating placenta, but converting into a panini placenta sandwich and a pasta sauce. Seriously, skip to “Philosophical Monday” if you don’t want to be completely grossed out. And definitely don’t read this while eating. slpc: i was *almost* convinced by the author of the placenta article (and the sisters who cooked and ate the placenta). i thought, maybe it’s a cool and healthy tradition, a once in a lifetime opportunity kinda-thing, and maybe not as disgusting as it first seems… until i read this part: “The ‘recipe’ was pretty simple, but preparation was very fun! First, I washed off any clots and snipped/tore away the membrane. Websites suggested this, and I imagine it’s because it’d be chewy. The umbilical cord required a pair of scissors to cut through and I had to marvel at how incredible tough that piece was!” haha. nope. not doing that. PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: Single White Nerd: The Harshest Mistress, in which Michael Kass rekindles his love affair with theater, even though their relationship ended really badly the first time around. stubbie: Oh, sure, she’s lovely now. Alluring. Willing to overlook things – like you never put your dishes in the dishwasher, or you leave little dark hairs all over the bathroom, that you always read the paper first and leave it totally disorganized. None of that matters now. But let me tell you, as a guy who’s been there, it all goes to hell. 15 years into a loveless marriage, it’s all we can do to grunt at each other and resist the...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman After being injured in a car accident I began a long road to recovering from a very annoying case of whiplash.  I did physical therapy for several months.  Eventually I was told the time had come to heal on my own when I was brought to the state of just slight irritating neck issues.  My doctor suggested that it was time to put some resistance, swimming and yoga into my life.  As my friends knew, I was not a fan of yoga.  We would go every Tuesday night together in my hometown and afterwards I would complain about how much I hated child’s pose.   Therefore, yoga wasn’t something I was looking forward to introducing into my life again.  Still, I joined my local gym and began to take a highly recommended class called heated yoga.  Heated yoga comes out of the Bikram school of thought, which is also featured in this month’s Shape magazine.  The class consisted of yoga poses held for at least a minute in a 90-degree room.  My husband tells me it is the description of torture, but it ended up being the kind of yoga that I liked.  I was a little weary when I first went to class and entered the thick, piping hot room, but my instructor assured me that in a few moments my muscles would feel so relaxed that I would really need to pay attention more carefully to my body. 90-minutes and several poses (that I didn’t think was humanly possible) later, I felt like my shoulders had just gotten a deep tissue massage.  I realize yoga isn’t for everyone, but this child’s-pose-hating girl found a type that she liked. Therefore, I say try to explore something that you...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman Marriage is more than the merging of two people, but also the merging all the baggage that comes with them — including food baggage. My husband and I rarely like the same foods, which has been the biggest adjustment in our marriage.  One thing that we do like is Russian Sirniki. My husband was shocked to find out that I actually knew how to make the delicious little cheese pancakes (he’s Russian and this was his favorite childhood breakfast).  In fact, years before I met him I had come up with my own version of Sirniki after I had it at a friend’s house. This recipe (after the jump)  is not traditional, but I think it’s delicious.  Feel free to use ricotta cheese instead of farmers cheese, but it will have a different taste. DEBRA’S SIRNIKI RECIPE What you’ll need: 1 lb Farmer’s Cheese 2 eggs ¼ cup flour 2 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla Frying pan Non-stick cooking spray, oil or butter How to do it: Combine all ingredients and mix together until blended.  Set frying pan to medium and grease.  Put small spoonfuls of batter in pan and let cook until golden brown (about 7-10 minutes) flip and do the same on other side (about 5 minutes).  Serve warm with sour cream and fruit...

. a blogumn by Debra Goykhman When my husband and I moved to San Diego four weeks ago we didn’t know one person.  Planting our roots has become a hard task.  We have tried many conventional approaches—taking our dogs to the park, going out to lunch with coworkers, introducing ourselves to neighbors, and joining the local gym.  We had a number of friendly conversations in each scenario, but the exchange of numbers is too awkward for either of us to have the guts to do.  My husband, the computer guy, suggested we try a website meetup.com.  Reluctantly I agreed and within days I was an active member and my husband still hadn’t bothered to make a profile. Meetup.com is not a new concept.  The site has been around for several years and began to catch the spotlight before Facebook.  Meetup’s self-proclaimed mission is to give people a forum to self-organize within their local communities.  I joined our local social club and RSVPed for a happy hour, which included a free dinner buffet at our local sports bar/restaurant.  I was expecting between 40-50 people.  When we pulled into the parking lot I knew that my estimate had been off.  All the parking spots were taken and there were crowds of people making their way inside the door.  We had to park our car in the strip mall next door.  When we entered there were hundreds of people inside with yellow wrists bands—the sign that they were part of the meetup group. We made our way to the food and saw crowds of 30-40-somethings huddled in friendly conversation and younger guys on the outside scanning the room for ladies.  The scene was a little too intense for our personalities, but as soon as my husband stepped...

. a new blogumn by Debra Goykhman Tango and Cash aka “Double Trouble” entered my life just a few weeks ago.  The handsome duo are two medium size white and tan terrier mixes that my husband and I adopted from our local Humane Society.  We were warned that it would take a few weeks for the two to adjust to their new home, but after the first night they were settled. The person who needed the most adjusting was me.  I had no idea that within a few days I’d be calling Tango and Cash my babies and really mean that they were my little boys.  I also didn’t expect to be so exhausted at the end of the day.  I felt like a new mother who no longer had the time to always brush my hair, coordinate my clothing and apply make up in the morning.  The biggest adjustment was learning how to be more of an authority figure. My husband had become addicted to The Dog Whisper and decided to follow all of Cesar Millan’s ways.   Within a few days he had our dogs sitting on command, walking by his side, and staying where he told them.  I was having a different experience with them.  When I walk them in the morning I find myself trying to root myself to the ground and hoping that they won’t pull so hard that I end up getting blisters on the bottom of my feet.  When I take them to the dog park alone they won’t always return to me when I call and when they do I usually end up with mud and saliva all over my clothes. Yet, dogs have a great deal of love and fulfillment to offer the right owner.  How...