You know, I actually don’t have any problems with Taylor Swift. She writes her own songs and she’s pretty clear about who she it. More power to her. But I do love this parody, which encourages teens to choose “fierce over bland” — i.e. Gaga over Swift. [Source:...
Philosophical Monday: The Happy Feminist Mother
posted by Ernessa T. Carter
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to raise daughters with feminist ideals. There are so many examples of mothers who do big things in their careers only to have their daughters turn around and opt not to do the same. Erica Kennedy, the writer of Feminista, actually wrote a great article on the subject from a single Careerist point of view, in which she talked about a certain Daily Mail feature: The writer is a feminist who worked hard to carve out a career and she was aghast when she learned that her daughter, a recent Oxford grad, didn’t plan to follow in her footsteps. Even before I clicked through and read the Daily Mail article in full, I could tell you two things about this writer: she was divorced and she wasn’t able to spend a ton of time with her children while carving out her career. Lo and behold, I was right. I think what is not be being said about the modern day disconnect between 80s-era feminists and their daughters, is that the disagreement might be more personal than political. While many feminist mothers see themselves as blazing a path and setting an amazing example for their daughters (which they did), I think many daughters see them simply as “never home” and “unavailable” — which to a certain extent, they were. For an extreme example, see this article about the rift between Rebecca Walker and her mother, Alice Walker. You know how A-List actors are always saying that their kids don’t give two s-words that they’re a big deal? I think the modern day feminist might be running into the same problem. Our kids won’t care if we do big things if it means that we neglect them in...
Oh, It’s Tuesday: The Happy Feminist
posted by Ernessa T. Carter
Hmm, well, this ought to be interesting. After getting started late this morning, I saw that our political blogger had decided to write about feminism, too. I haven’t read hers yet, but I’ve been meaning to say a few words about feminism, which I feel has been particularly under attack lately and often blamed for everything from general unhappiness among women to the current fiscal crisis to the demise of marriage. It seems like the MSM wants to paint a picture of the perpetually angry feminist, but wants us to believe that the happy feminist is just a myth. So last week, I decided to start representing. I’ve become “Ernessa the Happy Feminist” or “Ernessa the Practical Romantic” — more on the latter later — when I leave comments. And one of my rotating email signatures declares that I’m an “Author, Blogger, and Happy Feminist.” And just for the record, I don’t think I’m happy despite being a feminist, but because I am one. There are men and women who paved the way for me to make choices that I wouldn’t have been able to make years ago, and for that I am grateful. I feel that feminism galvanizes me into attending to my happiness in a way that women did not before it was constructed, and I also feel that feminism caused a few break-ups and kept me away from men I would not have been happy with in the long run.Thank you, Feminism! Do I think the current Feminist Movement has a few problems? Yes! I also have issues with the Civil Rights and Gay Marriage Equality movements, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a Happy Feminist or a Happy Black Woman (we’ll get into that later, too) or a Fierce...
Dear Thursday: The Everyday Feminist
posted by Ernessa T. Carter
Hey Guys, I wanted to end our Feminism series by offering up some everyday solutions — not just complaints — for the current state of Feminism, so here goes. 1. Stop congratulating men for doing what they should have been doing in the first place. Now I went back and forth with myself on this one, b/c I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement and encouragement. However, it’s hard to say that men and women should be equal when I can’t count on two hands the number of women who have told me that I’m “so lucky” to have a husband who changes diapers. Really? Now I think I’m lucky to have found someone I love as much as I love CH, but the straight-up fact is that I would never have married anyone who doesn’t change diapers. Parenting is a two-person job. If one person isn’t willing to help out then that makes the other person “unlucky” IMO, not me “lucky” for having a husband that does what he’s supposed to do. I also see this in other aspects of society. Single fathers getting all sorts of TV shows, book deals and love for going above and beyond while single mothers are just a fact of life. When a busy male executive cuts out early for his daughter’s play, “Awww.” Busy female executive — well, that’s why she didn’t get the promotion. I once had an ex who informed me after our relationship ended that he had been an awesome boyfriend, b/c he had never cheated on me. Again, really? Did that make me an awesome girlfriend b/c I also didn’t cheat? When did it get so bad that some men started thinking that they should be congratulated for staying faithful? I mean...
Wow! It’s Wednesday! The Beautiful Feminist
posted by Ernessa T. Carter
So Halloween has been interesting for me this year, because though there are a ton of cute and appropriate costumes for the infant-toddler set, somewhere around six-years-old it all seems to become either princess or (IMO highly-inappropriate) kid version of the sexy [name your profession here] costumes often peddled to adult women. Mind you I’m the one who at the age of 12 wore a plastic She-Ra costume to her super-popular cousin’s basement Halloween Party (I’m fairly sure I was only invited b/c her mom made her). Back then it was either that or you had to make your own. Everyone else either wore street clothes or made their own, while my sister and I sweated the night out in our matching plastic costumes. I stopped getting dressed up for Halloween after that, so I wasn’t quite aware of how “far” costumes had come. Pushing the sexy girl costumes aside — those won’t even be considered — I find the princess look equally disturbing. Has Disney taken over our costumes? And if so, why aren’t we encouraging more girls to be more creative than princess? For instance, I think Betty would be adorable as the cowgirl from Toy Story or a pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean or even the Porsche 911 from Cars. Vroom! Vroom! Outside of pop culture, I would love to see more girls dressing up as lawyers or librarians or scientists or doctors. There’s nothing wrong with a princess or two, but at the last Halloween party I went to, it seemed like the vast majority of girls had chosen princess. Though there were two charming homemade exceptions of pig (this was obviously her ballet leotard and tights with a tail attached, a pig ear headband, and a nose) and...