From Sept. 15 2008 A Facebook Forward from Fierce and Nerdy Contributor Delia...

Hey Guys! Remember when I used to trouble myself with actually posting a “File This Under” when our regular bloggers took off? Yeah, those we’re the good ol’ days. And for the record I still think this is one of the grossest inventions like ever. From February 26, 2009 Gudrun from “Secret Life of a Nerd Girl” is currently stuck in France w/o internet access. Bit of a cowinkydink, I know, given my article earlier this week about not wanting to go anywhere w/o an internet connection. She describes the unexpected wifi disconnect as “quel disatre, but kind of nice” — anyway, she’ll be back w/ another installment of Nerd Girl in two weeks. Meanwhile, I want to introduce you to this rather traumatizing Jezebel item: An invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office allows pregnant women to partially insert a balloon in the vagina and push it out, in order to practice giving birth. According to the patent, when inflated in the vagina, the balloon tapers conically toward the waist, which “causes the orifice of the birth canal to dilate in a manner similar to that caused by the emerging head of a baby.” Pregnant women can then “exercise by pushing the balloon out of the vagina in preparation for giving birth.” Supposedly repeatedly birthing the balloon will make the real thing easier and less painful… Oh, no, no, no! I’m finding it hard to believe that they even found enough pregnant women willing to test out this invention in order to apply for a patent. I’m about to take a birthing class myself, but no way would I want to practice with a balloon. The real thing’s going to be icky enough. . [Source: Jezebel via Inventor...

Photo Credit: Megan & David Powell Dudes, totally meant to ask you earlier this week, but never got around to it: Have you gotten a FaceBook username, and if so, what is it? I really, really, really wanted “etc,” and was poised to get it, but then it turned out that your username had to be at least 5 characters. Boo! So I just went with plain ole “ernessa.” Boring I know… But maybe you managed to snag a better username? Let us know in the comments. And here’s a clever Gawker story about “facesquatting” — not nearly as dirty as it sounds, unless you’ve recently ended a friendship b/c of...

Moving is stressful and I haven’t been writing, so I’ve been fighting off a bad mood all week. However, I have discovered a nice little cure for the overwhelmed blues: looking at this pic of Oreo, Missy Kulik’s (“Dork Lifestyle”) ridiculously cute bunny. It’s kind of hard to take life so seriously when staring into those wise, super-adorable eyes. For even more of an Oreo fix click...

Baby Belly paintings may just be the worst idea in the history of ever, but somehow I feel it will catch on, b/c there are currently no laws barring women with bad taste from getting knocked up. Click on the pic for more examples of this terrible trend. [Source:...

So it looks like Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series, which basically did the whole romantic, Team Jacob and Team Edward thing for adults BEFORE the Twilight series is getting made into a TV show. And IFC plans to market the show mostly to males ages 18-34. Wait, what??? ‘ [Source: Jezebel via Publishers...

Gudrun from “Secret Life of a Nerd Girl” is currently stuck in France w/o internet access. Bit of a cowinkydink, I know, given my article earlier this week about not wanting to go anywhere w/o an internet connection. She describes the unexpected wifi disconnect as “quel disatre, but kind of nice”  — anyway, she’ll be back w/ another installment of Nerd Girl in two weeks. Meanwhile, I want to introduce you to this rather traumatizing Jezebel item: An invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office allows pregnant women to partially insert a balloon in the vagina and push it out, in order to practice giving birth. According to the patent, when inflated in the vagina, the balloon tapers conically toward the waist, which “causes the orifice of the birth canal to dilate in a manner similar to that caused by the emerging head of a baby.” Pregnant women can then “exercise by pushing the balloon out of the vagina in preparation for giving birth.” Supposedly repeatedly birthing the balloon will make the real thing easier and less painful… Oh, no, no, no! I’m finding it hard to believe that they even found enough pregnant women willing to test out this invention in order to apply for a patent. I’m about to take a birthing class myself, but no way would I want to practice with a balloon. The real thing’s going to be icky enough. . [Source: Jezebel via Inventor...

So apparently some Warner Bros has decided to release specially trained cats on the city of London, which will be wearing T-shirts advertising their upcoming video game, F.E.A.R. 2. If I trusted my three cats to be indoor/outdoor, I would totally put Fierce and Nerdy T-shirts on them and send them around Silver Lake, but alas … . [Source:...

So we have Friends of FaN, Dan and Nicole Boland and their super-cute progeny, Sean Patrick, to thank for today’s bit of procrastination. Warning, if you’re susceptible to extreme cuteness, this video just might kill you. Kill you, I...

There’s a certain contingent of Southern Californians that seem to get almost orgasmic when it rains. “I love the rain!” they insist. Or “Ooh, we really needed this rain. I’m so glad it’s here.” I, however, am not with that crowd. I hate rain, even more than I hate snow — and I really, really don’t like snow. Rain is wet and inconvenient and depressing, depressing, depressing — which admittedly was great when I was in grad school in Pittsburgh. It seemed to rain all the time in that gray city, and it felt like I was constantly stuck in inside with my super-heavy race play, religion-baiting one-act, or one of two loss-of-innocence screenplays. Which was bad for my psyche, but great for my grades. I got a therapist my second year of grad school and thankfully made it out of there (somewhat) mentally intact. It should also be noted that I wrote my super-angsty play L.A. play Grown-Ups on the Playground during one of the rainiest winters on record in Southern California. It was either that or throw myself off the roof of the building at my ridiculously unrewarding and mind-numbing day job. However, I don’t write plays anymore, and right now I’m working on a rather undepressing action/adventure novel, so all of this rain is definitely getting in my way. I just hate the sound of it. I imagine it pummeling our new (to us) car and flooding our stand-alone garage and soaking my Converse through when I inevitably have to walk in it. Plus, I woke up at 2am, and I couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s 5am now as I write this. Stoopid rain… . flickr.com photo credit: Marcel...

Congratulations, Obama appointees and office workers. It now looks like you won’t only have to give up your former home states and political jobs, but you’ll also have to give up your sweet Instant Messenger. First they came for the BlackBerries, now they’re after the IMs. Whatever will they take away from these poor people next? Oh, cruel world! Read more about these Draconian work conditions here. . flickr.com photo credit: K W...

Not meaning to hate on the LADWP, but dude, why can’t they put out cool New Year’s ads like this one from Electrabel...

If I ruled the world — or better yet The TV, I would create a seasonal channel that only showed these clever LED houses with Christmas light displays set to music 24/7 for the 25 days of Christmas. How clever would that be? And there are so many of them, I’m sure you can good a good two to three hours of programming in before you had to restart the cycle. Anyway, here’s one house set to my second favorite modern Christmas song of all time, “Christmas Wrapping” by The...

In a yearly eff you to all the rebels that threw their tea into the Boston harbor, we Statesiders are always made to wait FOREVER to see the annual Christmas episode of Dr. Who. I wouldn’t mind, except this year’s episode looks particularly awesome AND there’s never anything except stoopid college football to watch on Christmas day in America. How lovely it must be to be able to gather round with your family and watch an extra-awesome episode of your favorite show on an actual TV — as opposed to a bit torrent download of middling quality on your laptop. If Obama is serious about bridging gaps with the rest of the world, hopefully he will put Hillary Clinton on setting up a cross-broadcast of the Dr. Who Christmas Special for 2009. Just saying… Til then, don’t watch the below unless you really want to feel that the world is a particularly cruel...

Apparently Spain’s public artists are much nerdier than our public artists. I’m so jealous, and I so want a Pac Man Christmas tree next year. Seriously, if the artist behind this figured out a way to mass market this tree, s/he’d make a ton of money. . [Source:...

Now I used to be a huge fan of mash-ups, but now they seem so 2003. BUT when CH hepped me to these DJ Riko Mixmas Tapes, I felt like everything 5 minutes ago was new again. Check out the Santa Baby Christmas take on Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” below and if you want to download like a free hour worth of Mixmas songs (this guy has been doing them for a while now), go...

FINALLY something for the Star Wars Christian crowd. Go here to check out this Lego Star Wars Nativity scene and learn how to build one of these bad boys yourself. If I didn’t think my cats would destroy it, I might take a crack at building one of these myself over the upcoming winter break. I would also try to build the Yoda below. Just because....

Thanks to the Le maudit Mo D blog, I received this sad news yesterday: A couple of days ago, two Hawaii quarters came charging out of the Jewel-Osco change machine after a transaction involving shampoo and Kaiser rolls. “Hawaii!” I said to Bob. “That means it’s over.” It’s true. The state quarter program, established in 1999, is over. All fifty state quarters have been issued. Now, I never collected these quarters or anything, but my sister was hardcore about it. And for the past ten years, I’ve gotten a little thrill of joy upon discovering a state quarter that I hadn’t seen before. This is one of those programs that I never thought about missing, but now I find myself rather sad to see it go. Though caveat: I am a little sad that Hawaii chose King Kamehameha I for the back of their quarter as opposed to the more iconic hula girl, which was also nominated. A hula girl would have been so much fun and as far as I can see, there are no women featured on state quarters, which seems a little insane, since from what I gather, we helped build this country, too. But then again, men are way outnumbered by animals on the quarters, so there you go. Next up: A state territories (Washington D.C, Puerto Rico, et al) for 2009. And, you know, I wouldn’t mind if they launched a state nickel program in 2010. Read more about the most successful coin program in U.S. history and its future...

You know, I wasn’t a nice kid or a nice teenager, but I like to believe that I’m a pretty nice adult. I give money and time to good causes, attend church fairly regularly, am kind to friends and strangers, don’t kick puppies, always leave nice tips. So I’m trying to figure out what I could have done to so upset the powers-that-be. And no doubt, that dark days are upon us, b/c I have received news of such a horrible nature that there could be no other explanation. Here’s Troy Reimink from The Grand Rapids Press: Seems like nothing but bad news lately. Unemployment’s through the roof, the Big Three are on the verge of tanking and newspapers aren’t … exactly … doing … so … well. But this is the most depressing information I’ve read in I don’t know how long — Creed is reuniting. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why Universe, why??? Oh, the humanity. Read about their upcoming reunion and tour here. And check out Friend of FaN, Leonard H, microwaving Creed below. Good...

Contrary to popular belief, I do not go out of my way to find cat-related items for this blog. I’m a cynical person, and that’s not necessarily a good look for me. But c’mon, how could I pass up this antique cat photo from 1905? It’s a little kitty in a dress! And a high chair! It’s like cynical blogger kryptonite. . [Source: Gawker via...

Here’s something for you to do other than shopping on Black Friday. Friend of FaN, Kyle Holtan from Hangover Sunday, will be on Jeopardy! I know I’m watching, how about you? Here’s a the letter he sent round to like everybody he knows. Hello my close, personal friends, It’s Kyle. I know you’ve gone a while without hearing from me, but it feels like it’s time for me to be back on the scene, no? Toward that end, I decided to appear on Jeopardy!, the show that was doing that annoying exclamation point thing thirty years before Yahoo even made it out of the dorm room. My (first in a series?) episode airs this Friday, November 28. To put that in perspective, that’s the day after Thanksgiving–it’s the perfect day to watch TV. Now, if you don’t know where and when to watch Jeopardy at the place you will be Friday, they’ve provided this handy lookup site. In the meantime, you can get warmed up by watching the promos I taped. They’re on this page. First, if you watch to the end of the “This Week on Jeopardy!” spot, the one that plays first, you’ll see me and my opponents doing some kind of multi-baton salute with our buzzers. (This precision move only took us two takes to get right!) Second, you can click on my gorgeous mug a little bit down the page to see me send an invitation out to the locals–L.A.’s well-off and always-on-the-go Westsiders–to watch their hometown boy make ‘em proud. You can even download this clip if you need an easy go-to bit for my inevitable Friar’s Club roast. So that’s what I’ve got right now. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Definitely tell your agent. And wherever you...

I’ve never been a huge fan of Santa and it’s been an ongoing argument between CH and me as to whether we’ll even pretend that there’s a Santa for our kids. I’m not comfortable with them believing that some random guy comes by the house to reward them with material goods for being decent human beings. But I’m also not comfortable with the idea of them being that one mean kid that tells all the more innocent kids that there is no Santa and that they’re babies for even thinking so. Anyway, we’ll see. But this year, it doesn’t look like parents will have to stand in long lines with their kids at the mall, b/c a lot of stores are cutting back on their Santa coverage. According to Gawker via The New York post, Seasonal Santas are getting hit super hard by the recession. Here’s an especially sad tale about professional Santa Dick Shea: [Shea] is expecting to earn around $3,000 this year, down from $30,000 two years ago – barely keeping up with cleaning and replacement costs for his $900 costume. “It diminishes my ‘ho, ho, hos,’ ” he said. . Photo Credit:...

Thanks so much to everybody who weighed in on morning sickness cures yesterday. The main suggestion was ginger and time (which seemed like a call for patience if you read between the lines). Well, as we all know, I’m not great with the p-stuff, but CH did bring home an assortment of ginger items last night. So far the ginger-cookies with the lemon filling washed down with a Jamaican ginger beer seems to be the best solve. The only thing is that the effect wears off 20-30 minutes after the ginger items are consumed, which I suppose is why a few of you suggested eating 24/7. But, here’s the thing, I’m officially over eating. If it doesn’t have tummy-soothing ginger or a ton of vinegar in it (pickles, salt and vinegar chips, sauerkraut) I no longer want it. It’s like my tastebuds are dead to anything else, which is sad, because we made 2 more of the Roya dishes, which I don’t feel like eating. Also, there’s a little eating holiday coming up called Thanksgiving. And CH’s sister and mom (who we’re visiting) are phenomenal cooks. Serious wanh! As someone who has only once in her life been sick for over 72 hours, I don’t see myself remaining a good and sane (enough not to get arrested) person if this persists through next week (as it supposedly will according to babycenter.com). And though I’ve always considered by inability to accept things the way that they are an asset, right now I wish whatever mother gene allows most women to get through this without (nearly as much) complaint would kick in already. I can’t do anything. I can’t work on my novel, I can’t get my one personal daily blog turned around in less than...

Okay, weirdly enough, the same week that I recruited an awesome new blogger for a blogumn (really tentatively) titled “Woman and Dog,” all sorts of cat items are coming out of the woodworks. If it’s Cats vs. Dogs, the cats are definitely winning, and perhaps none more so than this super-viral Japanese...

So according to some random UK study, women might actually get nicer as they get older. But it’s based on some rather shady social science: Apparently researchers asked 100 women in their 40s and 50s to look at photographs of women. According to the Fail, “It found that those who had reached the menopause were more likely to agree that good-looking women were ‘attractive’. In contrast, those who had not yet reached the menopause were more likely to say they disliked the woman in the photograph.” Haha, I mean, duh, we’re all just ready to claw each others’ eyes out in order to guard our men! Unless we no longer have our periods and then we’re just benign old crones waiting to die. [Jezebel] Now there have been studies done with men being shown pictures of much more attractive men and immediately labeling them “gay” as a sort of defense mechanism — which in my opin, is both bitchy and jeally. So I’m not quite sure why these scientists felt the need to “prove” that women got less mean with age. It’s been my experience that EVERYONE gets nicer with age, which is why your kids with probably like your parents much more than you do. Even my agoraphobic, extremely difficult, and infamously horrible grandmother is much nicer to me than she ever was to my mother. That’s the cycle of life. And quite frankly, that’s why all of us should actually be looking forward to getting old. . Photo Credit: Robert...

Well, this Gnarls Barkley video for “Who’s Gonna Save My Soul” (one of my favorite songs off of their latest album) has been out since late July, but I’m just now discovering it. So sad, because it might just be the best break-up video of all time. If music award shows were actually fair and not just popularity contests, then this would’ve won all sorts of awards by now. But alas. Anyway, check it out...

Well lookithere, we’re in another dead heat thanks to Zacki from Tall Glass of Shame, who guessed correctly that yesterday’s lyric was from “Just Fine” by Mary J. Blige (who of course I love, because I’m black, and it’s like the law that I love her). Anywho, I was so inspired by my Wednesday Roxy Music stumper that I decided to run another bittersweet classic. Which now semi-successful solo singer once sang the following on the one hit that she had with her former group: oh, he tells me tears are something to hide and something to fear and I try so hard to keep it inside so no one can hear Guesses in the comments. Seriously, if no one gets this I will be SO disappointed, and might reconsider our friendship. No pressure, just saying… Oh yeah, and Mary J. Blige after the jump — have I mentioned that I love...

According to Jezebel via Ad Age, the below Australian Kotex commercial has drawn a lot of controversy from people calling it “inappropriate.” But I think it’s like the best tampon commercial in the history of ever. Anyway, check it out and weigh in w/ your opins in the...

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Now, some might quibble with me when I say that The Last Dragon was pretty much the perfect movie of the ’80s: ridiculous, funny, and infinitely rewatchable. There is basically nothing wrong with the original that a remake could fix in a funny way, which is why my first reaction was “blasphemy!” when I read on Stereohyped that the studio powers that be have decided to give it a 21st century re-do with Samuel L. Jackson in the role of Shonuff. First of all, Samuel L. Jackson is to old to play Shonuff. Second of all, why must you studios tamper with everything that is good and pure in this world? Third of all, sigh. Just sigh. I might have to stop going to the movies altogether (not really — but this announcement makes me feel hyperbolic). If you’re not too depressed about this already, you can read the full Stereohyped report...

A friendly reminder from a few of us at Oh Merry...

So I don’t watch Rock of Love, and apparently that’s because I’m not a conservative. According to a Gawker via a Neilson Ratings study, conservatives are more likely to watch Rock of Love and The Bill Engval Show, while liberals are more likely to watch The Colbert Report and I Love New York. Now I’ll cop to The Colbert Report — in fact, the dot and I have been rather enjoying four or five bites out of a pint of Ben & Jerry Stepen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream over the past two weeks. And we declare it deelish. But I don’t watch I Love New York. And I never, ever will. Ever. I also don’t like My Boys, Ax Men, Deadliest Catch, and Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Strangely enough though, I adore Doctor Who and Damages. And I like Cash Cab, Battle 360 and South Park. Does that make me a Republican for Obama? Anyway, read the full Gawker item...

So apparently there is some limit’s to CH’s Obama fandom. He sent me a link to this underwear site with the subject line, “this might be going just a little too far.” . [Source: CH via his friend Manny via Some Blog that Manny can’t...

So if you’re a woman and you’ve ever taught English abroad in pretty much any Asian country, you may die laughing at this. Though, if you’re a guy that’s done the same thing — especially an average guy — you might find it offensive. Either way, don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Oh, and thanks to Lissette St. Louis for posting this on her Facebook page, so that a mutual friend (Joy V) might comment on it, therefore hepping me to it....

So when I saw the below ad for “mantyhose,” I assumed it was a joke, but then Danielle over at Black Snob assured us that it wasn’t. This is incredibly upsetting. Why??? Anyway, see Black Snob’s hilarious take on this trend...