. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett Welcome back to our third part of our goal setting series – creating your dream board!   What is a dream board?  It’s using pictures and images to represent the concrete list of our goals.  In doing this we ignite a spark of excitement about our goals that goes beyond “thinking” and we remember what it is to be childlike, to be excited about what is next in our lives. The intention of this process is to get out of the left brain and into our right.  As we get older and start to plan for our future and work hard toward “accomplishing”, we can feel weighted down and quickly lose the “fun component.” You’ll need a few tools for this final phase: 1.  Your complete list of goals. 2.  One piece of poster board. 3.  Markers, pens, crayons, etc. 4.  Magazines that you are finished reading. 5.  Any other fun arts and crafts supplies. 6.  Glue and scissors. To start, find a space in your home that’s inspiring.  As you set out your supplies, make sure you give yourself at least an hour to play.  Again, you want to create the time and space to continue freely envision your ultimate 2009. Looking over your list, begin to draw, paint, or use cut outs from magazines to create a visual representation of each goal.  If one of your goals is a new car, cut out the exact image of the car you want.  If there is a big account you want this year, draw a stick figure of you shaking hands with the business owner.  If you want to take a family vacation, draw an image of you and your family laying on a beach.   Some other...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett Welcome back!  Last time we began the process of setting goals for the new year by cultivating a list of qualities we want our year to express.  Grab that list and let’s jump into the second part of goal setting.   Before we begin, be sure to create a space inside and out that feels energized and inspired – put yourself in a room in your house that is a haven, surround yourself with music that uplifts and gets your mind flowing, make a delicious cup of tea, go to your favorite park or bookstore, make a meal with your partner/spouse and sit down together to co-create an exciting vision for 2009.   Also, make sure you give yourself the time to let your mind flow freely.  This process should feel like opening the most fabulous gift ever – it’s the gift of your life!  Amazing. Next let’s write on a piece of paper the different “Life Categories” in which your goals can be placed.  Mine usually looks like this: 1.  Health 2.  Wealth 3.  Career 4.  Fun/Adventure 5.  Spirituality/Soul 6.  Relationships/Family Think of these as areas of your life that you want to accomplish something new or maintain something that is already working for you. As you write out your categories, leave space under each one to write out the goals within that category. Now, you should have two lists: 1.  Qualities 2.  Life20Categories. The next step is to begin writing down what you want to accomplish, experience or maintain in each category.  As you start to write, take a look at your “Qualities” list and see how you can integrate those qualities into your goals list. Is doing volunteer work an expression of philanthropy, selflessness, fun?  Would...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett About a month ago I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning by a phrase that was repeating loudly in my head. – “Quality of life.”  I had no idea what the significance was, so I wrote it down to get it out of my head and went back to sleep.  When I woke up and sat with the phrase, I realized my subconscious was asking me to look at my life in a new way.  I thought to myself, what if I made a list of  “qualities” I want my life to express? We already do this in do many places, right?  We make mental or literal lists of the qualities we want in a husband or wife (tall, educated, kind, funny, athletic), a job (inspiring, short commute, room for growth) what our dream home would look like (modern, big yard, lots of windows),  so why not do it with our lives?   I began to write down qualities as though I was shopping for my life.  I want a life that is joyful, creative, stable, full of health, financially abundant, philanthropic, etc. I’ve always been a huge believer in the importance of having a clear vision when striving toward a goal.  The older I get the more proof of experience I have that knowing where you want to go is the best way to get there.  This “quality of life” list is wonderful starting place for creating that vision.  As we come to the end of the year, it’s a beautiful time to reflect on the last 12 months.  I want to invite you to take a peak at all the “qualities of life” that your 2008 expressed.  Did you have a year...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett As we near the end of 2008 and the holiday madness that comes with it, most of us are dealing with a great deal of extra pressure.  It’s a wonderful time of year – food, family, reflection, celebration, hope, love and joy.  But it’s also a season of overstuffed malls and  airports, endless to do lists, hosting, and work deadlines.  Look around.  The faces of your fellow man say it all – clenched jaws, furrowed brows, tense eyes, pursed lips. I think you’ll be shocked at how much unconscious tension you are holding in your face right this very second.  I’d like to offer you a simple and short activity you can do to “get that look off your face.”  It’s the five minute face massage: 1.  Close your eyes and take a deep inhale expanding your lungs as much as possible.  When you get to the top of your breath hold it for 5 seconds, then slowly exhale. 2.  Keeping your eyes closed and your breath long, gently touch your thumbs to your brow bone at the outer corners of your eyes.  Press in gently creating pressure that feels good.  Slowly release and move your thumbs under the arch of your brow bone, pressing in and releasing until you reach the area just above your tear duct between your eyeball and  your brow bone.  Reverse this motion pressing slowly and gently to the outside of your brow bone. 3.  When you reach the outside of your brow bone gently squeeze the outer edges of your eyebrows between your pointer fingers and your thumbs.  Release, then slowly and gently squeeze all the way into the inside of your eyebrow.  Reverse this gentle squeezing back to the outside of your...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett Combining a single yoga posture  – Tadasana – with a one word mantra is one of the best cocktails I know for creating the exact frame of body and mind that you desire anytime of the day. Begin by choosing your mantra.   Think of a one word quality you’d like to express this day, this hour, or this moment.  If you have an important meeting you might choose STRENGTH.  If you know a difficult conversation awaits you choose COMPASSION or  PEACE.  Other options might be JOY, PATIENCE, HUMILITY, LOVE, GRATITUDE, or any other quality that really inspires you. Keeping that “quality” in mind, follow these steps and move into Tadasana (pronounced tah – DAHS – anna) or Mountain Pose: 1.  Stand with your big toes touching and your heels about 2 inches apart.  Roll back and forth from your heels to the balls of your feet.  Settle in feeling your weight evenly distributed across both feet. 2.  Create length in your spine by slightly tucking your tailbone under, pulling your belly button in toward your spine and gently pulling your chin in toward your chest so that you feel the back of your neck nice and long. 3. Gently firm your thigh muscles by lifting your knee caps. 4.  Open your chest wide by rolling your shoulders back, pressing your shoulder blades into your back, and keeping your ribs pulled in. 5.  Let your arms hang softly by your side with your palms facing toward the front of the room. Close your eyes and notice the sensations of standing up straight with perfect alignment!  Beautiful… Now, let’s put it all together after the jump: With your eyes closed and your arms straight, inhale and extend your arms out...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett Many of us are rushing through life like floating heads, forgetting to tune in to our bodies.  If we do this long enough, at some point our bodies start talking to us. We’ve all experienced a little neck crick or slight lower back pain that we ignore, hoping it will go away.  But as we keep pushing through our lives,  the pain not only worsens, but becomes so awful that we can’t even move.  Sound familiar? Today I want to focus on one of the most delicate and beautiful parts of the human form – the neck!  Many of the body’s systems are found in the neck – circulatory, lymphatic, nervous, endocrine, and respiratory.  Because it is such a complex area of the body, an unhealthy neck can be a great source of discomfort. A little daily maintenance goes a long way.  Take five minutes out of your morning and try these three neck stretches afer the jump to relax your neck, slow your mind, and bring you into the present moment in your body.  IMPORTANT:  Never push your body past it’s limit.  These should be sweet, gentle stretches: 1.  Neck roll: *  Close your eyes and take a deep inhale. *  As you exhale tuck your chin toward your chest lengthening the back of your neck. *  Stay in this position and deeply inhale pulling the breath along the back of your throat. *  As you exhale slowly roll your head bringing your right ear toward your right shoulder. *  Inhale here and as you exhale slowly roll your head toward your left side bringing your left ear toward your left shoulder. *  Continue rotating your head in this half circle moving with the breath. 2.  Neck...

. A blogumn by Andy Allen and Kalimba Bennett Dear She Said/Then He Said, I really like this new guy that I’ve been dating for 3 months. He’s an engineer, smart, funny, and kind. The only thing is that he’s a horrible dresser. He mentioned in passing that dumped a girlfriend, because “she was always trying to change him,” so I don’t want to tell him straight-out that he’s a horrible dresser. But he wore an old T-Shirt and jeans with paint stains on them to my boss’s birthday party. It was so embarrassing! Please help! Scared to Speak Up SHE SAID: Alright Scared to Speak Up, I’ve got news for you sister, the old saying is true — a good man is hard to find.  If you are really into him and he’s all the things you say he is — employed, smart, funny, kind — then you should be thanking your lucky stars you found a keeper.  Period. There are always going to be things about your partner that are not “perfect” and I can guarantee there are things about you, yes you, that he doesn’t love but keeps to himself.  So, my first reaction is to tell you to “zip it.”  I’d recommend spending less time nit-picking and more time getting to know this great guy. But if you feel that you absolutely have to say something, here are a few suggestions on how to approach this delicate matter after the jump: Find a way to ask him how his ex-girlfriend was always trying to change him — it may not have had anything to do with his clothes. This way you know if the clothing thing really is a sensitive area or not. If it’s sensitive, then this is something...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett [EDITOR’S NOTE: Usually I bring you The Weekly Habit on Mondays, but I think Kalimba’s Inspirational Monday better serves that purpose this week. Enjoy!] What happened to being nice for no good reason?  Why is it so hard to be friendly?  Why does it seem like such an effort for some people?  Well, the simplest theory I’ve come up with is that as we get older we have to have more responsibilities.  As we gain responsibility, we can start to lose our feeling of freedom, our sense of play.  Without that sense of play, we can forget or lose interest in really connecting with the people in our daily lives. This week I want to challenge you to turn outward and play a little by connecting with your fellow human beings every day.  Take five minutes out of the day to complete these daily assignments: Monday:  Ask someone you work with how their weekend was.  When you ask, do it when you have a moment to hear the real answer, look the person in the eye, and wait for the answer.  Ask another question if you get canned answer.  They say “Great”, you say “Really?  What did you do that was great?”  Again, look the person in the eye and wait for the answer. Tuesday:  Say hello to a stranger on the street.  It happens all the time – we make eye contact with someone on the street, in an elevator, standing in line and we look away without acknowledging each other.  Next time this happens smile at the person you’ve just connected with and say “Hello.” Wednesday:  Tell a customer service person that you appreciated their help.  We run into people helping us “get our lives done” all day...

Not sure why I keep forgetting to tell you guys this, but I’m going to be performing a true story for this lovely monthly event, called Spark. So if you live in Los Angeles, and you’re looking for something to do right now, maybe mark your calender for Monday night. Here are the details: The Powerhouse Theatre Presents: SPARK “Signs” Monday, October 6th, 7:30pm ~ An Evening of True Stories ~ The Powerhouse Theatre 3116 Second Street (One block E. of Main St; One block N. of Rose ) Santa Monica $10 / RESERVATIONS REQUIRED: 310/ 396-3680 Also, if you want to see a kid cursing, spewing hate and being generally obnoxious, you might want to check out this Lil O’Reilly (read Bill O’Reilly) spoof. Gawker also has this funny story about how it’s illegal to post photos like the one to the left in Scotland, because it’s “unchivalrous” here. And they also have a weirdly-sexualized ad for insurance, that you can just barely watch without setting your work computer censors off here. Oh, and here’s a fun game. After the jump, I’ve posted trailers for 2 movies — one that I really want to see (despite who directed it), and one that I wouldn’t ever, ever, ever watch. Ever. See if you can guess which one is which: Filth and Wisdom: Proud...

. An advice blogumn by Andy Allen and Kalimba Bennett Dear He Said/Then She Said, I am a freelance audio engineer, constantly involved in one or two day jobs on short notice and building a reputation. I recently worked a job that was a disaster. Turns out I made a techincal blunder that rendered all the audio unusable. I offered to pay back my fee but I can’t seem to reimburse my confidence. How do I recover from such a disaster and not sit around dreading my next job? Help! Doomed to Fail HE said: Doomed to Fail, I’m so sorry that happened to you.  It sounds like it was a mildly traumatic experience.  I am a musician and I have recorded a lot of my own music myself as well as with other people, so I think I might have a pretty good understanding of how you feel and what the other party might be thinking. It sounds like you know what went wrong.  If you don’t, then pinpointing your error would be the absolute first step here.  After you’ve identified your mistake, you should run some drills working with that mistake until that particular part of your job becomes second nature to you.  If you don’t feel like you need to run drills and work with it, then just make a dramatic mental note to yourself so that it will be next to impossible for you to ever repeat that mistake again. The most important thing is to regain your confidence.  Confidence will allow you relax and perceive all the different facets of future jobs clearly.  It will allow you to work with steady hands and a steady mind that can vividly recongnize the big picture as well as the minute details...

. A blogumn by Kalimba Bennett A couple of years ago I had a crisis come up, and I desperately needed the outside advice of a trusted confidant.  A creative partner asked me to fire someone I was very close friends with from a project we were all working on together.  It was a terrible situation and to make matters worse, it was time sensitive. So I called my trinity of counsel –  mother, boyfriend, best friend – no one answered.  The clock was ticking and I felt immobilized by fear.  I sat, staring at my cell phone, waiting for a return call.  No one came to the rescue.  Overwhelmed, I closed my eyes and tried to relax by taking a deep breath.  Within a few moments a question that changed my life popped into my head – “What if I was my own best friend?”  and then another “What advice would I give to a person I loved deeply who was in my same situation?” Of course I had made tough decisions on my own before.  But, this was the first time I could remember feeling ill-equipped and rather than reaching out, I consciously choose to reach within.  I kept my eyes closed and visualized stepping outside of myself to take a look at the situation.  Instantly answers starting coming in.  It was powerful beyond words.  By trusting myself I cleared away the fear and made room for my own inner wisdom to speak to me. I believe we all have a well, infinitely full of strength, intuition and wisdom, that’s available to us at all times, in all circumstances.  So often we look outside ourselves to get validation or direction, when we have the capacity to be our own greatest counsel.  The more...

. An advice blogumn by Andy Allen and Kalimba Bennett Dear She Said/Then He Said, What is a graceful way to shut down a conversation without appearing rude? I love my hair stylist, and don’t want to go through the trouble of finding another one. But she wants to talk—ABOUT NOTHING—for the whole hour. It’s exhausting and makes me want to smash my face in her cutting mirror. Pretending to read Radar Magazine does not deter her. Help! Sick of Small Talk Austin, TX .. SHE said: Dearest Sick of Small Talk, I don’t know a soul that hasn’t encountered a Chatty Cathy in a hair salon. Doesn’t your hairdresser see the magazine you bury your head into the second she opens her blabber mouth? The truth is this – No, she doesn’t.  And … she never will.  She just loves talking too much and she doesn’t care if you like it or not. Now, you can keep smiling and nodding while the voice inside your head is screaming “SHUT UP!!!!!” or you can try a technique I call Painful Honesty aka “saying what’s on your mind.” The “pain” part is on your end because it’s often so hard to say the thing we are thinking.  But PH doesn’t require rudeness it just requires expressing honestly what people might not want to hear. There’s a difference. RUDE: Stylist: What do you think about this Sarah Palin character? You: I’m not paying you to spit in my hair, I’m paying you to cut it.  Now, shut it and put those scissors to work, bitch! Now Painful Honesty at its finest after the jump: Stylist:  What do you think about this Sarah Palin Character? You: She’s … okay… listen, Cathy.  I have — Stylist: She needs...

A Blogumn by Kalimba Bennett Using the tools of yoga, meditation, and creativity as the stepping stones for generating a little more peace, gratitude, and dare I say “inspiration” in your week. Today I want to offer you the immaculate gift of your very own breath.  You know, it’s that inhaling and exhaling thing that’s happening right now without you thinking about it and…it’s what is keeping you alive!  In my experience, there is a deep connection between how I feel and the fluidity of my breath. If your life is anything like mine it moves at a pace that is quick and ever quickening.  Busy life = even busier brain. When I’m stuck in traffic trying to handle a business call and put on my mascara at the same time my breath is short and constricted.  When I’m in a hot bath after a long day my breath smooths out and flows deeply. Because it is one of the few autonomic functions of the body that we can also control, breathing is the fastest working, all natural antidote to stress that I know of. In yoga, the practice of conscious breathing or breath control is called Pranayama* and the benefits are infinite.  By breathing deeper we supply the brain and body with more oxygen and that is nothin’ but goodness my friend.  Breathe deeper and experience lower blood pressure, greater mental focus, the release of toxins and more expansive orgasms for starters.  Give this basic pranayama exercise a try, right now, in your home or office: Start by placing one hand on your chest and the other on your lower belly. Close your eyes and slowly take a breath through your nose, focusing on filling your abdomen so that it rises higher than your chest....