And for my last trick. . . [Nerd on a Wire]

“If you’ve seen magic shows before,” says the Nerd, stepping to the edge of the stage, “then you know that the last trick is always the most amazing.  Some incredible transformation.” He counts silently to seven and waits for some sort of response.  There...

Trekking with a Marshmallow [Nerd on a Wire]

Before I narrowly evaded the cold hand of death in the Peruvian Jungle, I spent four days walking up a steep hill and had some learnin’ laid on me by a roundish 4’10” Cambodian-American in an all white hiking ensemble. I’d intended the Steep Hill part of the trip to be a physical challenge...

Escape from the Jungle [Nerd on a Wire]

I don’t get scared until my Lucky hat flies off. It has the word “Lucky” inscribed on the bill and has been a fixture on my head for the past four weeks of trekking in Peru.  “Crap,” I mutter under my breath. I grip the back of the motorcycle more tightly and prepare myself for certain death....

Into the Rapids [Nerd on a Wire]

A few years ago, I jumped off of a perfectly good raft and into the roiling waters of The Colorado River. In other words, I swam a rapid in the Grand Canyon. Now, I was not alone in this. About half of the group I had been rafting down the canyon with for the past few days also made the leap....

The Zorbonite Manifesto [Nerd on a Wire]

I’m about seven standing next to my father while he does the dishes.  My mother’s voice shoots from the dining room, carried on a plume of cigarette smoke:  “Roy, wash the dishes.” “I am, smokestack,” my father replies, scrubbing the hell out of a pan. He hands me the pan. I start to dry it....

What do you do? [Nerd on a Wire]

A few weeks ago I read a story about a guy who flipped out when someone asked him the most common of all lazy cocktail party questions:  “What do you do?”  Instead of answering, the guy threw a hissy fit and lashed out at the questioner, calling them all sorts of names, before storming out of...

A Whole New Nerd [Single White Nerd]

On Friday night, I found myself in a sharing circle.  Actually, it was a birthday party.  We happened to be sitting in a circle and sharing.  It was much more fun than it may sound.  We had pizza. At some point, the circle splintered into smaller groups.  I talked to an artist for a while; we...

A Nerd Goes (In)Sane [Single White Nerd]

I walk into my supervisor’s office.  “This,” I say as I pull out a chair, “is going to be a sort of awkward conversation.” I’ve been building up to this conversation for weeks.  I’ve also been putting it off for weeks.  My inability to initiate this talk has dragged me into spirals of...

I Lie in Bed [Single White Nerd]

I lie in bed. I’ve been lying in bed.  I keep lying in bed. I’m not particularly enjoying lying in bed.  I’d like to get out of bed.  I know that if I get out of bed and do 50 jumping jacks, I’ll feel better.  It really wouldn’t take much.  Just swing my legs over the side of the bed.  That’s...

Seductive Magic–Presto! [Single White Nerd]

I’m sitting across from a girl on a couch. I whip out a deck of cards. “Want to see a magic trick,” I say. She smiles broadly. ”Yes.”  Awesome. For the past couple weeks, I have been taking magic classes at the (world renowned) Magic Castle. The class is mostly...

Gene-Cities: Communities Built One Gene at a Time [Single White Nerd]

We see the statistics every day:  housing costs on the rise, foreclosure rates through the roof, unemployment at record highs.  And that is just in the United States.  The housing and jobs crisis is much more severe in other parts of the world.  It’s dire.  What if there were a way to live in...

A Single Nerd’s Guide to Friends With Babies [Single White Nerd]

When you hit your mid-30s and friends start to have babies, you have a choice: find new friends or find ways to cope with the fact that your friends’ lives will be incalculably altered by the new life that they thrust into the world. Find ways to remain relevant in their world, a world...

The Nonexistent Nerd [Single White Nerd]

The day I ceased to exist stood out only in its unremarkability. I woke up, did fifty jumping jacks, some squats, a few pushups.  I watched some porn on the internet, shook my head in disgusted titillation, and hopped into the shower. I emerged, dried, pulled on some faintly wrinkled khakis...

(Not) on Love [Single White Nerd]

I’m supposed to write about love–pro or con or whatever–today.  And I find that, though I am the Single White Nerd and, as such, this should be right kablammo in the center of my wheelhouse, I do not want to.  Which is odd.  Because normally I’d jump at the chance to write some...

Why I Love Theater [Single White Nerd]

About an hour ago, a play handed me my ass. “Here you go,” it said, “have your ass.” In this case, “ass handed” means inspired, galvanized, surprised and moved. It reminded me why I love theater. Here’s the thing–this show, the one I just saw, I...

Legos are the f*cking BOMB! [Single White Nerd]

Have you guys been reading some of the crazy blogs about dating on this site?  I mean, sexting, sponsored international travel, smooching on the brother of the guy you met on an online dating website for people seeking sugar daddies. Hot damn. I can’t hold a candle to that. Not even gonna...

Resolved: 2011 [Our Very Best]

Ernessa says: It feels so weird to not be making any resolutions this year. Some people love this time of the year because of the gift exchanges, time spent with family, goodwill toward man, blah, blah, blah — but I’ve always been a resolution girl myself. I love making the list...

Worst of 2011: TV… [FaN Boos]

Amy Says: To continue my streak of disliking the stuff everybody else likes (ie. I didn’t care for A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD, which so many others loved…maybe I should be the “On the Contrary” guy next year. I swear to g*d I’m not doing this on purpose.) In my...

Best of 2011: TV! [FaN Cheers]

Amy says: Can a remake of a BBC show be considered new? If so, then PRIME SUSPECT is my pick for the best new TV of the year. Maria Bello is awesome in everything I’ve ever seen her in. Detective procedurals aren’t normally my thing, but I love the complexity of the characters...

Worst of 2011: Songs …. [FaN Boos]

Ernessa says: What’s funny is that I’ve always liked Maroon 5. I mean, I’ve never downloaded a Maroon 5 song or anything, but I’ve never minded them. And when they came on the radio, I didn’t change the channel on the automatic like I do with say, LMFAO or Ke$ha...

Worst of 2011: The Movies… [FaN Boos]

Amy Says: I was so excited about a movie mash-up of western and sci-fi. It would have cowboys AND aliens! My expectations were super high. Sadly, COWBOYS & ALIENS is my pick of the worst movie of 2011. While it was moderately entertaining, the dialogue was clunky and I just felt sorry for...

Best of 2011: The Movies! [FaN Cheers]

Amy says : My favorite movie of the year should have been RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, but I was in the Colorado wilderness the entire time it was in theaters. The original, with Chuck Heston, is my favorite movie of all time. The first time I saw it, I knew I wanted to be an actor. It was...

Worst of 2011: The Books… [FaN Boos]

Ernessa says: I’m going to make the caveat again that if I manage to get through a book, it must have something to recommend it. Life is short, and I’ve become rather good at putting down books I’m not enjoying. That claimed, this category was a bit difficult for me this...

Best of 2011: The Books! [FaN Cheers]

Yay! It’s finally here. Our yearly round-up of the stuff we just loved and the dreck we absolutely hated. The big surprise of this year was just how much our Fierce and Nerdy bloggers agreed … except when it came to our Worst Book picks (more on that tomorrow). As always, we also...

Sex in the Time of Twilight [Single White Nerd]

An Open Letter to Women Coming of Age in the Time of Twilight About two years ago, I wrote an open letter to boys becoming men in the age of Twilight.  I sought to prepare them for the trials ahead, trials made tougher by the unrealistic expectations established by Ms. Meyer and her coterie...

Tilting at Windmills: A Thanksgiving Tribute [Single White Nerd]

This year, I’ll be winging it to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. Given past experience, I’m guessing that expressions of gratitude will be in short supply.  So instead of saving up all my thanks for a Sharing Circle of Thanksgiving Fun, I reckon I’ll just unleash it on you fine...

Accentuating Neuroses (aka Accentalize This!) [Single White Nerd]

Ladies, do you like a man with an accent?  I bet you do!  Then today’s blog is for you.  Today, we introduce an exciting new concept in Dating Technology: The Accentalizer! Like The Litmus Test, but more effective, this revolutionary new Neurosis Detection System can save time, emotional...

The Haunted Hayride of Lost Souls [Single White Nerd]

On Saturday night, three friends and I went to the Haunted Hayride at Griffith Park.  I hoped for some overpriced cheap thrills and instead found something far more terrifying: a Purgatory filled with lost souls searching, pleading, clawing for escape. It starts promisingly enough.  The smell...

The Awesomest Thing About Being Single [Single White Nerd]

Y’know what the awesomest thing about being single is?  You can go anywhere and do anything!  Last week, for example, I just picked up stakes and drove up to Fresno.  Sure, it was for work, but I didn’t need to clear my schedule with anyone or check in.  I just rented a Kia and zipped up...

Reclaim Your Life with LifeScribe! [Single White Nerd]

Do you ever feel awash in a flow of information?  As if your identity is being shaped by the various social networks, newstreams, and push notifications cluttering your inbox and clamoring for attention?  Like you’re just a cog in a massive, convoluted information economy? You probably are....

The Time I Got Beat Up A Little [Single White Nerd]

When I was about 12, some kids in my neighborhood beat me up a little.  I’d been taking the same route to and from school for three years–subway, bus, walking.  I’d gotten used to seeing the same faces every day, a comforting routine.  These kids were new faces.  And they beat me up a...

Nerd in the Wild [Single White Nerd]

The small prop plane suddenly drops out of equilibrium, careening sharply into the volcano.  It swoops down, losing altitude as it tilts at a nearly 90 degree angle.  The three other passengers and I hold on for dear life certain that we’re about to crash into a crater.  A moment ago, we were...

The Gingerbread Man Cometh [Single White Nerd]

My smart phone officially and irrevocably became too smart for its own good on Thursday night at 2:30 AM.  I woke to a light beep and blinking indicator.  I picked up my phone where it sat, functioning as an alarm clock, on my bedside crate.  Instead of the clock I expected to see glowing on...

(Food) Sexual Healing [Single White Nerd]

Do you remember the first time you called a 1-900 sex chat line? I do. I was 12 years old. A friend had come over for dinner and I nonchalantly asked my parents if we could call a 900 number advertised on a business card that some entrepreneurial soul had slid under our windshield wiper....

Can you spare some Change? [Single White Nerd]

A moment ago, just as I sat down to write this here bloggie, my friend cleared her throat and held up a paper towel absolutely sodden with several years worth of grime.  “I just want to make a point,” she said before tossing it aside and plunging back into the task of imposing order on my...

Single White Nerd: The Virtual Girlfriend App [BEST OF FaN]

Originally published 01/31/11 As I write this, it’s raining outside.  It would be a perfect day to cuddle with That Special Someone.  But I don’t have a Special Someone.  What I do have is a fancy new phone.  Which is why I’m developing. . .The Virtual Girlfriend App. Download the free...

My Super-Spy Dad: Single White Nerd [BOOK WEEK]

Growing up, I read books.  A lot.  Three or four books a week.  They were mostly science fiction and fantasy books.  The occasional bit of literary fiction.  Fathers in these books were taciturn, secretive, violent, absent.  Maybe the hero’s dad was King Arthur in disguise.  Or a space alien....

The Legend of Golden Arm [Single White Nerd]

When I was 15, I became a sports hero in the doll-making capital of Japan.  It was one of the worst experiences of my young life. I’d gone to Japan for the summer.  It seemed like a good way to escape the sweltering Washington, D.C. heat while having a valuable cross cultural...

What if you threw a Rapture and nobody came? [Single White Nerd]

If you’re reading this, it means the that world did not end on Saturday, May 21 at 3 PM.  It means that the predictions of a 90-year-old radio host with an engineering degree did not come true.  It means that I probably shouldn’t have emptied out my retirement fund (though, really, $80...

Dating On Therapy [Single White Nerd]

I recently starting seeing a therapist.  Not socially.  Professionally.  As in “going to therapy.”  It will be helpful in the long run.  So I’m told.  In the short-term, however, I have learned that dating while on therapy, like dating while on drugs, is a poor idea. Last week, I found myself...

Chocolate Bars and Storytelling [Single White Nerd]

Today, a confession:  I’m a liar.  A big fat story-maker-upper.  Last week, I stood in front of about 100 people at The Moth, a venue where people stand up and tell “true” stories, and spun a tale of love unfulfilled.  It moved people. Someone may have cried.  But the story. . .it wasn’t...

FacePlant: The World, But Better [Single White Nerd]

A few nights ago, I met a girl at a bar.  We chatted and, after a few minutes, I asked for her number.  “I’d love to,” she said, “But I have a boyfriend.  Facebook me.”  I did, now we’re FaceBook friends.  Great.  But here’s the thing:  the whole process was so inefficient.  If would have...

Infiltrating The Dog Park [Single White Nerd]

My apartment overlooks Silver Lake dog park.  Every day, I sip coffee and look out the window into a secret world where pups run amuck and people mill around talking, making friends, and doing God knows what else.  I’ve always wondered about this secret world–who are these people?  What...

Wheel of (Mis)Fortune [Single White Nerd]

St. Patrick’s Day is this week.  Luck of the Irish and all that.  Bah.  I’m not Irish, never have been.  But let’s talk about the luck part because I used to be lucky.  It was like my parents captured a Leprechaun and forced him to anoint my baby head with lucky charms.  I walked on lucky...

Single White Nerd: My Life As An Unwitting Cover Model

Last week, a friend who I happened to meet on an online dating site sent me an email.  “Congrats!  You’re the spokesmodel for [site redacted].com! You man-whore!”  Having not logged on in weeks, I had no idea what she was talking about.  Until I went to the site in question and saw myself...

Single White Nerd: Love Is Stupid

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Some people celebrate with roses, romance, or overwrought greeting cards.  Me, I’m celebrating by sharing a bit of wisdom gleaned from life experience and diligent study.  Ready?  Ok. Here it is.  Love Is Stupid.  You’re welcome. Before you get all indignant or write...

Single White Nerd: Filling the Void

I swipe the debit card and my heart starts to pound.  A light sheen of perspiration breaks out on my forehead.  My breath comes in short gasps.  If someone took a picture of my face, I’m guessing I’d see that my pupils would be dilated.  I look like an addict who’s just scored a fix.  And in...

Single White Nerd: Free-associatin’ in 2011 [Whiskey Penance]

First post of the new year! Yeah! Awesome! I feel like I should be inspiring or something. Share some resolutions. Maybe a heartwarming tale of family togetherness and redemption. Alas, I got nothin’ for you on those fronts. Ugh. Performance anxiety. Happens to me during sex, too....

Resolved: 2011 [The Very Best of FaN]

Ernessa says: Yay! Well, New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday and my favorite holiday activity is making my New Year’s Resolutions. But in order to do that, it’s good to review how you did the year before. So out of the 11 bulletpoint resolution list that I made last year,...

Worst of 2010: TV… [FaN Boos]

Ernessa says: My big complaint of the year is that there were really too many bad TV shows to choose from in 2010. I seriously had a hard time narrowing down my choices. Note to TV Execs: Next year you’ve just got to do better. That said, I’m going to have to go with THE WALKING...

Best of 2010: TV! [FaN Cheers]

Ernessa says: Well, guys for the first time in the entire history of me being moi, I find myself ending the year with no favorite new show. None of last winter’s mid-season replacements, the summer series, or the new fall series are deserving of high praise in my opin. As every...

Best of 2010: The Songs! [FaN Cheers]

Ernessa says: SO many great songs this year. Standouts for me included ROLLING IN THE DEEP by Adele, KEEP THE LIGHTS ON by Wave Machines, DIFFICULT by Uffie, BURIAL by Miike Snow, and XXXO by MIA — which was a surprising “grow on me,” since I claimed to meh it back in August...

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times: 2010 [FaN Remembrances]

Ernessa Says: Least Favorite Moment(s) of the Year: I’m still trying to process our dog, Tulip’s unexpected death. Also, one of my heroes, my Aunt Almeda also passed. As for my favorite moment of the year, I’ve been thinking hard about this, and while I enjoyed every single...

Worst of 2010: The Movies… [FaN Boos]

Ernessa says: This was a hard one. Part of me wants to say SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD b/c the females were so poorly rendered in this film and I had such high expectations. But I think I’ll have to go with MEGAMIND, because it was such a boys club, and pretty much everything...

Best of 2010: The Movies! [FaN Cheers]

Ernessa says: I thought for a long time I would choose INCEPTION, because it’s truly a spectacular feat of writing and directing that audiences would come out of that movie saying, “It was so different and confusing” when in actuality we had been spoon-fed the plot and the...

Worst of 2010: The Books… [FaN Boos]

Ernessa says: The nice thing about being a published author is that it’s considered bad form to talk ish about other writers in a public forum. Because of this, if I found myself not enjoying a book during my 52 Books in 52 Weeks project, I put it down and went on to the next book on my...

Best of 2010: The Books! [FaN Cheers]

Yay, we’ve come down to my favorite time of the year, when chins hit chests and we spend a week pr two firmly gazing at our navels. Over the course of the next two weeks on FaN, we’ll be weighing in on our favorite books, movies, music, TV shows, and moments of the soon-to-be...

Single White Nerd: The Admissions Interview

I’m not a parent.  Nor am I gay.  There is nothing wrong with being either one of those things.  They’re great. But, fact is, I’m neither.  And, thanks to a recent experience, I now know that I’d suck at both.  Too challenging.  I’d crack under the pressure. A couple weeks ago, my co-worker...

Single White Nerd: Nice Day for a Clown Wedding

I was about two-thirds of the way through a groundbreaking expose on the hidden dangers of f deep frying a turkey when something happened that changed the course of my life. Or at least this post. Namely: A coupla clowns got married. It’s true. Last night, teetering way high up on...

Single White Nerd: Date Face

“Gross, Michael, you’re making the Date Face! Stop it!” My friend Elaine and I are sitting at a dinner table. Her friend, a fetching young lady whose name I can’t quite remember, has just left to use the bathroom. Apparently I’ve been making The Date Face at the friend....

Single White Nerd: I Hate Halloween

I hate Halloween.  There, I said it.  Until earlier today, I wasn’t sure why. I suspected it might be some deep seated psychological block against donning a costume to conceal my identity; a discomfort with anything that might chip away at my super inner core secret self. The truth I...

Single White Nerd: The Painted Nerd

Saturday, 12:30 PM. Two guys have me pinned down in a ravine. Every time I pop my head up, I attract paint from a sniper hiding in the brush above. A periodic barrage of whizzing pellets from an unseen adversary ahead blocks my passage forward. They’ve got me cornered, crouching behind...

Single White Nerd: Dancin’ Fool

The Single White Nerd has not always been single.  Like, for example, on New Year’s Eve 2001.  Boogedy boogedy boogedy (that’s the sound of a swirly flashback thingy happening) . . . Swing music syncopates around us as my girlfriend and I sip champagne in our booth. We look into...

Single White Nerd: Going WooWoo in a Cave

I’m sitting in pitch dark silence. All around me, people are singing softly in Hebrew. I don’t feel the urge to puke. In fact, I want to join in. I can’t. Don’t know Hebrew. Instead I hum along. What the hell is going on here? A couple weeks ago, I wrote about getting...

Single White Nerd: The Litmus Test [FaN Favorites]

. a favorite blogumn by Michael Kass Michael Says: I recently re-read this blogumn and it brought me back to a simpler time, when a simple test could determine the fate of a relationship. I was also struck by the callowness of the writer–what an ass. Also, it made me giggle. From...

Single White Nerd: David Mamet is a Big Jerkface

Let’s get this out of the way: As you read this, I’m in Israel. But as I write this, it’s 12 AM in Los Angeles. And it’s a week ago. In other words, I wrote this a week ago. Got it? Cool. Now, moving on. David Mamet is a Big Jerkface and, to explain why I say this, I’m going to have to talk...

Single White Nerd: I, Sweetsaholic

Hi.  My name is Michael and I’m a sweetsaholic.  It’s not my fault.  I’m a victim of history.  Did you know that the cupcake was invented by a viking war-maiden to cheer up her heartbroken nephew?   True story.  Neanderthals regularly stole each other’s mates and, to stave off conflict,...

Single White Nerd: Adventures in the Labyrinth

Last night, I visited a land of faeries and elves.  Goblins and tiki gods.  Steampunk Batman was there.  So was Cinderella. It was weird. It was exhilarating. It was like a Renaissance Faire on steroids hopped up on speed. It was. . .The Labyrinth of Jareth.The adventure began as many do....

Single White Nerd: American Dadiators, All Hail!

Today, a post-Father’s Day meditation on manhood. Ahem. There’s nothing more manly than a dude pushing his baby around in a stroller. This has nothing to do with his willingness to take responsibility for rearing his child. Nor is it related to his efforts to give his wife a few...

Single White Nerd: A Declaration to ‘K’

Dear ‘K,’ Last night I woke up on my couch, crusty eyed and drooly chinned.  For a moment I forgot that you were there.  Then I felt you, cradled in my arms.  Your graceful curves against my finger tips, responsive to my touch, ready to calm my troubled soul with a soft flow of...

Single White Nerd: An Open Letter to ‘S’

. a blogumn by Michael Kass While most self-respecting nerds out there settled in to get lost in the byzantine twists and turns of Lost’s final episode (which, from what I could tell from the screams of frustration coming from my neighbor’s apartment, was a bit less than...

Single White Nerd: Calling Mom

. a blogumn by Michael Kass Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  I know this because I couldn’t get a seat anywhere for brunch.  Also because my phone reminded me:  “CALL YOUR MOTHER,” it blinked at 6 AM.  And so I did.  I called my mother. I’ve written about my...

Single White Nerd: Please Don’t Blog About This

. a blogumn by Michael Kass She sits across from me on the couch, painstakingly curled hair cascading over her shoulders.  Her earrings catch the candlelight.  They’re shiny.  I want to play with them.  I like shiny things, especially when I’m a little drunk.  Which I am.  The...

Single White Nerd: Girls, Get Your Geek!

Over the past two weeks I’ve had at least 6 women approach me and ask for advice on attracting a Geek. Lucky for them (and for you!), I can help. Women, I am here today to help you get your Geek. I’m not sure when it happened, but apparently, Geeks are the new hot cheeto on the...

Single White Nerd: Frustrated Fragments

ARGH!  That is the existential cry of one frustrated Nerd.  I’ve started today’s blog four times.  Each time, I get a few sentences in and then run out of steam.  So today you get Blogular Fragments.  Do with them what you will.  Enjoy! 1.  In the Land of Lost Souls: I go to the Lost Souls...

Single White Nerd: Moments of Grace

. a blogumn by Micheal Kass Big announcement today: I’ve figured women out. I had a conversation with someone and he pulled the wool from my eyes, shared information so powerful, so obvious, so mind-blowing that I’m dumbfounded. And the secret is. . . Nah. It’ll have to...

Single White Nerd: A Very Psychic Valentine

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day, friends. And as I sit here on my balcony, the clacking of my keys accompanied by the whizzing of traffic and yelping of playful dogs, I am filled with hope for the first time in years. I won’t lie, it’s been a heckuva journey to get...

Single White Nerd: Real Men Eat Steak

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it seems like I should talk about love.  Or relationships.  But I’ve done a lot of that here, so instead I’m going to do some counter-programming and talk about . . . men. Ahem. I remember when men were men.  When Hemingway and...

Single White Nerd: Happiness Is. . .

. a blogumn by Micheal Kass “Happiness is–” FLASH. So a couple months ago, I’m in Las Vegas celebrating a friend’s birthday. It’s a small group, only five of us. One of the group, the only one I hadn’t met before this trip, has this incredibly annoying habit of...

Single White Nerd: New Year’s Fever!

True story. I spent the last moments of 2009 huddled on my bathroom floor covered in sweat clutching my toilet with a thin trail of vomit dribbling from my nose. Gross. Now if this were a hackneyed Hollywood movie or not-particularly-well-crafted novel, that moment would be deeply symbolic....

Single White Nerd: Happy Thanksgiving, Nerds!

. a blogumn by Michael Kass The thanksgiving part of Thanksgiving is a relatively new presence in my holiday life. I mean, my family had Thanksgiving when I was growing up. My parents and I would trundle up to New Jersey and spend the evening in my grandparents’ one bedroom...

Hello Friday: Fiercest Nerds on the Block [November 9-12]

Wow, I’m not trying to say that I should flake more often, but this week’s numbers were WAY up. So big thanks for everybody who stopped by and chatted. Here are our Best ofs: PHILOSOPHICAL MONDAY re: Single White Nerd: A Nerd in Cougarland, in which Michael Kass near bout blinds...

Single White Nerd: Recycling Ritzy

. a blogumn by Michael Kass Confession Time:  I don’ t have any fresh ruminations on singlehood today.  Or nerdom.  I’m sure I could come up with something, but I’m running late to go read a book to pre-schoolers and tell them all about youth homelessness.  So while I...

Single White Nerd: Towards Adulthood, Kicking and Screaming

. a blogumn by Michael Kass On Friday I received an email from a friend asking that I consider being a godparent to their shiny new son. My First Reaction: someone hacked her email account. My Second Reaction, after realizing that spamming someone’s contacts with requests to become a...

Procrastinate on This! Friday Edition [October 2]

Friendly Reminder, Michael Kass from “Single White Nerd” is on Dr. Phil’s “Race to the Altar” episode today. Check your local listings, but if you live in L.A., it’s on at 4pm on Channel 2. But if you need even more procrastination, we’ve got your...

Single White Nerd: Stranger Danger and the Psychic Grannie

. a blogumn by Michael Kass Last week I went to a movie. Alone. I kind of felt like wallowing in the aloneness a bit, so I bought a massively large buttered popcorn and a huge drink. Nothing emphasizes alone-i-tude in a dark theater like the feeling of a big tub of warm, lard covered popcorn...

Hello Friday: Fiercest Nerds on the Block [Sept. 11-17]

So Patrick Swayze died this week and the new Jay Leno show started and Kanye West dissed Taylor Swift, therefore guaranteeing that he will continue to get invited to the VMA’s b/c he is act-a-fool ratings gold a great performer. We also had some awesome comments and quotes. Check...

Single White Nerd: Online Dating Danger and Flockter Mill

. a blogumn Michael Kass If you’re reading this, the odds are that you have tried online dating at some point. And as someone who has tried online dating, you are no doubt aware of the many risks involved. You may have faced countless pictures of shirtless men posing in front of their...

Single White Nerd: Stand-Up and the Single Nerd

. a blogumn by Michael Kass     Single man-nerds, hear me now:  If you want to meet women, try stand-up comedy.   Before I found stand-up,  I’d tried everything.  Well, maybe not everything.  I never went to a dating seminar, for example.  Nor had I tried the cultish techniques practiced by...

Hello Friday: Fiercest Nerds on the Block August 13-20

Whatta week, and is it me or has this summer going by incredibly fast? How is it almost Fall already? Anywho, I’m a little too exhausted today to think up a good transition, so I’ll just say, here are the best comments of the week: HELLO FRIDAY re: FIERCE ANTICIPATION: August...

Single White Nerd: Wherefore Art Thou Creepy?

. a blogumn my Michael Kass   Image Credit: kirstyfull A brief one today, friends.  More in the nature of a question than a meditation on single nerdom.  And here it is:   You know the guy in the bar who hits on a woman, gets the brush off, and then hangs around?  The one who stands behind...

Single White Nerd: California Dreamin’

. a blogumn by Michael Kass 4 AM. Unable to sleep, I hoof it around the corner to Ghetto Ralphs, aka Silver Lake Ralphs. During daylight hours, the parking lot would be bustling with cars vying for a parking spot. The drivers would be a mix of the gentrifiers and the gentrifi-ees, those on...

Hello Friday: Fiercest Nerds on the Block July 17-23

Hey guys! Whatta a week. And of course the comments were wonderful as usual. Check out our best of… HELLO FRIDAY re: Fierce OR Nerdy: Aliens vs. Ghosts, in which slpc asked us to compare the scariness and sexiness of ghosts and aliens. JessicaH: Not so scared of ghosts – not so...

Single White Nerd: Love in the Time of Twilight

. a blogumn by Michael Kass   An Open Letter to Males Coming of Age in the Time of Twilight:     I just watched Twilight, the film, this weekend. And I have this to say to you: You are doomed. You have my sympathies.   I thought we had it bad coming of age back in the 20th Century. See, back...

Hello Friday: The Fiercest Nerds on the Block July 3-9

Hey Darlings, Bad dates + Vicodin + Secret Foods = a great first week back with comments to match. Check out our best of below: HELLO FRIDAY re: Fierce OR Nerdy: America vs. USA in which slpc asked us to choose between “America (the Beautiful)” and “Proud to be an...

Single White Nerd: Real Life vs. Blog Land

. a blogumn by Michael Kass She knocks at my door. I open it to let her in. It’s the first time she’s been to my apartment and I’m wondering what she’ll notice first. The fact that I cleaned for her? The scent of garlic and butter emanating from the kitchen? My...

Single White Nerd: Procreation Nation

  My Breakup Bookcase idea has wrought a certain amount of havoc, but that story will have to wait.  It has to wait because our fearless leader, the inimitably fierce ‘n nerdy Ernessa, is in labor.  Right now.  As I type this.  Life shall emanate forth from her loins.   That’s a big deal.  ...

Hello Friday: Fiercest Nerds on the Block June 5-11

Warren Beatty, Clive Cussler, Darth Vader, and OKKKKKKKKKK-lahoma all showed up in this week’s comments. Check it out: HELLO FRIDAY re: Fierce OR Nerdy: Bank Error in Your Favor, in which slpc presents us with the ethical dilemma of whether we would run off with millions of dollars that...

Single White Nerd: The Break-Up Bookshelf

. a blogumn by Michael Kass Photo by John Buckler From time to time, I find myself in the terrifying position of “dating” someone. This happens when things progress past “hanging out,” but have not yet reached the “going steady” stage. And it is usually at...

Single White Nerd: In the Eye(s) of the Storm

. a blogumn by Michael Kass This weekend Theatre and I were out on a date.  Our reunion has been far from smooth.  We’ve fought, we’ve thrown things at each other, we’ve cried.  But at this point, we’re spending time together regularly.  Four nights...