When I Made Dick Van Dyke Laugh (A Hollywood Valentine) [Hippie Squared][Best of FaN]...

I like this tale. What’s more, I like this telling of it. Hippie Squared is often mined from my personal oral tradition–oft-told tales of my adventures. But sometimes I get the nagging feeling that I told it better years ago at a party somewhere. Not here. This time, I feel like I finally nailed it. The first thing I can ever remember specifically laughing at was Dick Van Dyke’s slapstick tumble over a footstool, when he walks in the front door in the immortal credit sequence from The Dick Van Dyke Show. Certainly it’s the first wellspring of laughter from which I knew I could draw a fresh laugh every time. (And isn’t that much of what we love about TV–those reliable comforts?) Van Dyke’s a dancer. Even when not doing slapstick, his comedy was physical. He put his whole lanky rangy body into everything, his long rubber band limbs and his long expressive face animating every line he spoke, every reaction off someone else’s line. His slapstick itself was a kind of physical comic poetry. A living limerick. My friend Fritz and I used to imitate that footstool tumble over and over with the stool in my basement family room. So it’s also no doubt the first bit I ever practiced in a conscious effort, as a routine, to elicit laughs from others. That’s why it meant so much for me to make him laugh. Which is not to advertise any great display of wit forthcoming on my part. I got the feeling that Dick Van Dyke laughs easily. He likes to laugh, he likes to make people laugh. He’s generous with his laughter. A man in the right line of work, you might say. Anyway, one sunny afternoon in the mid-eighties when I...

Be My Really Nerdy Valentine [NERD LURVE WEEK]

If you do one thing today — or if you find yourself in need of a last minute need e-card, check out The Mary Sue’s “52 Funny, Geeky Valentine.” There’s so much more gold than what I’ve featured below:...

(Not) on Love [Single White Nerd]

I’m supposed to write about love–pro or con or whatever–today.  And I find that, though I am the Single White Nerd and, as such, this should be right kablammo in the center of my wheelhouse, I do not want to.  Which is odd.  Because normally I’d jump at the chance to write some sort of screed against love that actually ends up being pro love and is vaguely moving. But today; meh.I guess I could write about Valentine’s Day.  Maybe Valentine’s Day in elementary school when you’d have to give valentines to everyone, but put extra red hots into the cards for your grade-school crush in the hopes that s/he would get the secret message and let you hold their hand. Again; meh. I could try to define love.  Wrestle it into the confines of rationality, peg it to a board like one of those dead ‘n dessicated butterflies that serial killers always seem to have in the talkies.  I could invoke evolution or Schoepenhauer or both.  Hell, I could write a whole philosophical treatise based on my experiences of love.  That would be . . . stultifyingly boring. Mehsymcmehmeh. Maybe I could write about the glorious torture of new love; the early days when your existence narrows its focus onto the other person.  Tumbling into a maelstrom of emotion and obsession.  Is she thinking about me?  What did she have for breakfast?  I wish I were a piece of toast; she likes toast.  Maybe I should call her, no I just called her, but she may want me to call her, what if someone else calls her, what if she doesn’t pick up, or does pick up, I want to throw up.  Reading hidden messages into the slightest cock of the head or...

If You’re Going to Propose, Why Not Do It With Legos? – Procrastinate on This [NERD LURVE WEEK]...

I mean that’s just common sense. Just ask Nealey and Walter. A Proposal in Stop Motion from FIREPIT PICTURES on...

Outrageous Marriage Proposals Caught On Tape [Kicking Back With Jersey Joe]...

Valentine’s Day is all about love.  On the road to marriage the hopeful young man has to properly propose to his girl.  Some guys go through outrageous setups to pop the question, but things don’t always go as planned and we get to see some of the results – caught on tape! Our first video recently made national headlines when a girl turns down her would be fiancé in front of the TV cameras at a Houston Rockets game. That guy is certainly unhappy and I don’t think Clutch, the Rockets mascot is helping.  Although, the beer someone gave him – might! Another guy tries his luck, this time at a Minnesota Twins game… His reward – a slap in the face.  At least some of the fans sitting around him offered some support. Another guy tries in a mall food court, with a little “Sweet Caroline…” Maybe she ran out, because you’re proposing in a food court!  The ring was probably a BK onion ring, anyhow. This poor guy proposes in front of an overseas soccer game…  and she looks absolutely horrified! Now, let’s take a look at some very clever proposals – that DID work and have made some happy couples… You’ll have to skip the ad, but it’s worth it!  Watch in awe as this guy decides to dump green slime on his girlfriend’s head to propose and she is NOT happy about it.  I would never try this. Ummm, yeah… In the next one, you couldn’t ask for a nicer location – just don’t kick the ring box out of your future fiancé’s hand! Ever thought of proposing at 65 MPH along an interstate… these two made a long distance relationship a permanent one in this highly creative video: And...

What Happened Before Your First Date? – Bloggin’ on the ETC [NERD LURVE WEEK]...

I’ve talked quite a bit about the many things that happened after my first official date with CH. But in the lead up to Valentine’s Day, I’d like to talk about the stuff that happened before the Friday we went out to dinner six and a half years ago: 1) We met at a dive-bar birthday party for a fellow Derby Doll. I had to drag myself to this party, and it was my third event of the night. I didn’t notice him, until I ran into him and one of his best friends while buying a drink at the bar. The best friend casually introduced us after I said, “Hey, Bitchy [his derby name was Bitchy Kitten — don’t ask], how’s it going?” But later CH told me that he noticed me right away that night. “I saw you smiling from across the room.” 2) We were in the same place without knowing it twice before that night. While I was at CMU, he did a special guest-teach of my Camera Lab class. I decided to skip that day, because “some lighting guy” was coming in to teach it. And the summer before that, we were at the same premiere for THE COUNTRY BEARS. Me as the plus one of a Disney executive friend, and him working behind the scenes. 3) I’d been planning to attend a party  thrown at his house the summer before we met — mutual friends from the Derby Doll world had invited me — but I got into a huge fight with my then-boyfriend and didn’t end up making it out. 4) The day before the night I met him, I interviewed to housesit for a lighting designer named Manny, who I knew through Carnegie Mellon’s alumnae network. He mentioned...

If You Love Somebody, Name a Cockroach After Them [NERD LURVE WEEK]

Why bother with flowers when you can name a Madgascar hissing cockroach after the love of your life for $10. This from the Bronx Zoo website: Can’t decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it’s been for millions of years—like cockroaches! How better to express your appreciation for that special someone than to name one of the Bronx Zoo’s 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroach after them? Best of all, when you purchase this everlasting gift, you’ll help support the Wildlife Conservation Society and its five parks in New York City. ~via The Mary...

What I love… [Frankie Says…]

Frankie Says… TRY IT. In the spirit of love and all that crap, I’ll give you a snapshot list of all the things I love in my life right now: I love warm LA days in February. I love my new apartment. I love making eggs with sautéed kale or spinach in the morning and eating it standing up in my kitchen. I love seeing my name in print – one of the many perks of getting published and the biggest rush when you flip to that page. I love Sunday dinners with my family. I love my mom. I love my hair – (I’m blessed with great hair, what can I say?) I love looking at the books on my shelf that I have no time to read. I love checking things off my to-do list. I love boys. I love being confident in being single. I love Starbucks Valentine’s cup (however, I do not love Starbucks.) I love sitting in coffee shops and writing. I love people watching in coffee shops, too. I love new music – anything different and non-mainstream. I love my bed. I love scarves. I love greaser boys – their outfits make me smile. I love finding a new great watering hole and sitting at the bar alone. I love going to the movies alone, and I love that my older sister cries because she thinks it’s so sad that I go to the movies alone. I love movies. I love making movies. I love film festivals. I love dressing up. I love buying new dresses, even if they sit in my closet for months unworn. I love shopping online for shoes, putting them in my basket, and then clicking out of the page. I love making fun...

Were You Wondering About the Love Lives of Stand-Up Comics? – Procrastinate on This [NERD LURVE WEEK]...

Me, too! Check out this xoJane piece, in which one comic asks “about 30 comedians (mostly straights with a small portion of sweet, sweet gays) if comedy helps or hinders dating & sex.” or “Does Being Funny Get You...

Love Affair with a New Purse [Secret Life of an Expat]

Before I got to Paris, I was never much of a purse person. I liked something with good pockets and a nice shape, and the most I remember spending on a purse was $50 for a marked down Nine West at Macy’s. In Paris, I made a friend who had a beautiful purse collection, and I got bored with the Nine West. Mandarina Duck was the only cool company I knew of, so I bought my first semi expensive (i.e. more than 100 euros) purse from them. It was functional with good pockets and enough leather to look a little bit fancy. It made me feel like a grown up. We were happy together. But then… I don’t know. The little swath of suede became polished and small rips appeared in the fabric. The purse was letting itself go, and my eye started to wander. Gerard Darel, I thought. It’s what all the ‘it’ girls have, and I’m an it girl, right? Well, no, but once I got the Gerard Darel 24 hour bag under my skin, it wouldn’t let go. I could be working through a perfectly normal Tuesday afternoon and then find myself staring at the Gerard Darel website without knowing how I got there. I would spend hours examining the colors and prices, even though they never changed. This went on for months, but the bag cost twice the amount of Mandarina Duck. Not expensive for a designer leather purse, but not cheap either. We finally met and had coffee, me and the Gerard Darel 24 hour bag, but it turned out we didn’t click. The blue looked better online and the bag didn’t close at the top. I would have been settling. To console me, my friend introduced me to...

Let’s Take a Moment to Love on Our Cats [NERD LURVE WEEK]

… with this post that gently pokes fun at them. Love ya, kitties! ~via icanhazcheezeburger...

Recipe for Love [Fierce Foodie]

The heart is a tough muscle.  Despite the movies that depict a warrior taking a bite of a still beating specimen torn from the chest of an enemy, most cookery books suggest a long marinating in vinegar and red wine followed by hours of slow baking or stewing to render the chewy, lean muscle edible. The irony of how fragile is the heart of a lover can never be far from the chef’s mind. The slightest decrease of attention, the lengthening silences, the decision often made to sleep rather than indulge in other bed time activities, all these are signs of passion that has naturally deepened and become milder with time and trust. Unfortunately, they are also signs of impending doom, and it is often difficult to tell exactly where you are when you are right in the middle of it. So on this Valentine’s Day, and every day, my advice is this: no matter how exhausted you are, how wrapped up in your own cares and troubles, take the time every day to hold your lover’s face, stare deep into his or her eyes, and say the words that make even the toughest hearts melt. Homemade Nut and Berry Bars Courtesy of L Fusco and Sherry Mosovsky These bars are a great source of nourishment and will give you tons of energy to love your mate! Necessary equipment: Food Processor 1 lb dates, preferably fresh -must pit before processing .5lb mix of salted nuts – peanut, walnuts, almonds, or whatever nut you love 2 tbsp unsweetened peanut butter Dried fruit such as apricots or fruit leather pieces Process nuts until they are powder. Process dates .25lb at a time until you have four balls of date goop. Add powdered nuts to dates and process....

Tara and Warren from Buffy Are Having Fertility Problems – Procrastinate on This [NERD LURVE WEEK]...

Also this just in, Warren doesn’t seem to know what “impotent” means. Get the full “evil baby” movie details for REVERSE PARTHENOGENESIS here. via io9 A Proposal in Stop Motion from FIREPIT PICTURES on...

Love Your Baby…Hold Off On The Pictures [On The Contrary]

I’m told it’s “Love Week” at Fierce and Nerdy. I’m assuming that means romantic love, as Valentine’s Day is upon us, making those of us in good relationships feel great, those of us in a so-so relationships feel anxious but relieved we’re in a relationship, and those of us not in a relationship feel like the Jehovah’s Witness kid at the kindergarten Halloween Party (that is, left out, embittered, but perhaps with a slight sense of superiority). Romance is wonderful, both the capital “R” and the lower case versions. However, I was never one to go completely with the program. I think I’ll take the road less travelled and explore a different kind of love—the kind of love that comes to be as the result of romantic love (or poor judgment). I’m talking about parental love. Ah babies. They’re so polarizing, and yet we have to pretend they aren’t. No creature in existence can be at once completely helpless and at the same time wield such absolute control over the dominant species on the planet than the human baby. Just to make it clear from the start, I am not a parent, nor am I expecting to become a parent anytime soon. I am an uncle, though, and I’m also reaching the age where many of my friends are married and having children of their own. So while there are no babies front and center in my life, they seem to be around my perimeter, like the Pacific Ocean is to Los Angeles, or prescription drug abuse is to Utah. Now let it be known that I am not a baby guy, but I like kids. Once they are little people, anywhere from 2 onwards (really whenever they can kind of talk), they are...

May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor [NERD LURVE WEEK]

Etsy Designer BerkeyDesigns is offering the below “May the odds be ever in your favor” bracelet for $19. For more HUNGER-GAMES-themed Valentine ideas, check out “The Best HUNGER GAMES Gifts for Your Valentine” at The Mary...

Get Your Nails Looking Good at Home in Time for Valentine’s Day [NERD LURVE WEEK]...

Usually I only watch the TODAY show in retrospect when Kathie Lee and Hoda have done something so insane it goes viral (this seems to happen about every other month). But luckily FaN blogger, Jennifer May Nickel, watches it for better reasons, because she sent along this super-duper helpful video for the latest nail trends, many of which you can pull off at home before Valentine’s Day. Sweet! We especially like the magnetic swirl, the at-home gel manicure set, and the dazzle-dry polish. Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the...

V-Day Loser [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn in Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, I thought I was OK with being single until all this chaos for Valentines Day got up in my flow. What can I do to avoid becoming more depressed about being an alone loser than I already am? Sincerely, Juan Is the Loneliest Number Dear JITLM, First of all, there is no shame in being alone. In fact, it is a great place to be to truly understand yourself. You are certainly valid in your feelings about having Valentine’s Day shoved down the masses’ throats. Honestly, even those entrenched in couple-dom get a bit uncomfortable with the pressures of having to prove their love on this one particular day. From my research, it is not really even understood who this St. Valentine was! (Seemingly a conglomerate of about fourteen different martyred fellows all with the same name. Although, one in particular tried to convert someone he should not have and ended up, well, quite uncomfortably martyred.) But back to your question… Keep in mind that this is a Hallmark Holiday with little to no relevance to the rest of the world. Try to hang out with your (single) friends and just have a good time. There is also the fabulous option of taking the time to honor your self. Give some love to you! That can mean different things to different people. Some manners to do this may include getting a massage, splurging on that new techno gadget you have had your eyes on and some good old fashioned self pleasuring! Avoid restaurants as they will be filled to over flowing with folk attempting to make romantic memories. Keep in mind that being single is not a sign of being a loser. I know it can be tough when it feels...