. A blogumn by Ryan Dixon FIERCELY ANTICIPATING Honk! Festival of Street Bands What happens to all of those awkward, yet enthusiastic high school and college-age souls who take off their shakos and leave behind the sex-crazed, drug addled lifestyle of the marching band? Well, it seems that many of them have thankfully forgotten to indulge in a quarter life crisis or middle-aged angst and instead have started “street bands.” The music of street bands defies easy categorization and blends brass infused power with the sounds of Bollywood, the Balkans, New Orleans, Samba, and Hip Hop. However, the music is, much like sex, far better to experience live and the 2008 Honk! Festival this weekend in Boston is the Woodstock for street bands. For those of you who can’t make it to New England, there’s no better way to sample the street band sound then to listen to What Cheer? Brigade, the Providence-based group that is the forefront of this musical movement. October 10-12, Tufts University, Boston, MA KINDA WANT TO READ Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling Bret Hart Since the WWE’s sleeper hold on the industry will probably prevent a truly uncensored look at the Wagnerian opera on crack that is professional wrestling, Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s autobiography Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling might end up being the best behind-the-mat saga we’ll get. Unlike nearly all of the other memoirs by professional wrestlers, Hart wrote the book without a ghostwriter and it’s being published independently of WWE Books. The tome should include plenty of juicy anecdotes thanks to Hart’s long and tortured history with the company, which stems from the controversial in-ring death of his youngest brother Owen Hart in 1999 and the...

/ A blogumn by Ryan Dixon FIERCELY ANTICIPATING Religulous / An American Carol Not since 2004’s The Passion of the Christ and Fahrenheit 9/11 have two movies been released that so perfectly represent the opposing views in our national Cold War of ideology. While it’s almost a given that Maher’s film (directed by Borat helmer Larry Charles) will be funny, smart, controversial and probably slightly condescending, the real question is whether or not An American Carol, a “patriotic” updating of Dickens’ seminal work directed and co-written by out-of-the closet conservative David Zucker (he of the ZAZ trio), will actually be funny. While Conservatives are masters of humor in literature (Kingsley Amis, Christopher Buckley, G.K. Chesterton, for starters), their attempts at striking the funny bone in film and television have turned them into the multi-media equivalent of the Washington Generals.  However, with the support of the “Friends of Abe,” an Illuminati-like collection of Hollywood conservatives started by Gary Sinise, Zucker has assembled a fairly impressive cast that includes charter F.O.A. members Jon Voight (as George Washington), Kelsey Grammer (as General Patton) and the Matisse of ethnic villains himself, the great Robert Davi, whose portrayal of the Arab terrorist Aziz marks quite a departure from his most recent role as the gravel voiced narrator of all those film montages shown at this year’s Republican National Convention. KINDA WANNA VISIT Minus 5 After Star Trek: The Experience shuttered its doors forever last month, I wondered if I could ever love Vegas in the same way again.  Suffice it to say with the recent opening of Minus 5, I may be taking off my black armband.  Simply stated, Minus 5, located in Mandalay Bay, is a lounge completely made of ice, 18 tons of it to be exact....

A blogumn by Ryan Dixon FIERCELY ANTICIPATING Neil Diamond in Concert The Oughts have been very good to Neil Diamond. Like his fellow pop-culture roller-coaster rider William Shatner (both “Solitary Man” and Star Trek first appeared in 1966), for a long time it looked like the career trajectory for both men was going to be a long, dark descent from pop-culture icon into oft-mocked camp cartoon. But the dawn of our post-ironic world has bathed these entertainment titans with the light of renewed adoration and critical recognition for a host of recent projects (Diamond’s albums 12 Songs and Home Before Dark / Shatner’s Emmy-winning role on Boston Legal, his album Has Been and work as the Priceline pitchman), which have thus allowed them to reclaim the mantle of “cool” with no strings attached, except perhaps for those holding the sequins together on Diamond’s shirts. October 1st and 2nd, Hollywood Bowl KINDA WANNA SEE Rock of Ages With the firey deaths of We Will Rock You (featuring the music of Queen) and Dance of the Vampires (Michael Crawford sings Jim Steinman) it looked like all hope was lost for the emergence of a truly great musical that incorporated songs from Rock’s Bronze Age, but in the words of Yoda, “There is another.” And thus Rock of Ages (not to be confused with the mutually popular Christian and Hanukkah hymns) steps into the spotlight. After a middling 2006 run in Los Angeles and Las Vegas, sources have confirmed that the book has been substantially rewritten, which is probably a good thing because this show is now allegedly the biggest budget off-Broadway production of all time.  The one thing that hasn’t changed since its previous run though is the music. And what music it is! Prepare to...

. A blogumn by Delia Hauser We’ve all done it.  We’ve all stood in front of a mirror examining a hat, scarf or new piece of jewelry and asked the BIG question.  “But…Is It Me?” This madness has to stop.  We ARE whomever we please and we should allow ourselves to change our look everyday if we so choose. I know, I know; this can be hard.  We get into style holes and we stay there.  We decide early on that we are “old navy” girl or “earthy” girl or “gothic chic” girl and that’s where we stay until we wake up one day questioning the things we really like.  So, I’m challenging you to shake it up tomorrow with your accessories.  Style yourself into a new person for a day. Every morning I go through the same routine.  My boyfriend calls it my “private time”.  Indeed it is; and should probably stay that way considering what strange things happen behind those closed doors.  After an outfit is formed and the shoes are chosen, it’s time to decide what character I am that day.  I try on jewelry, scarves, bags, I make faces and strike poses that I might make during the day in that particular outfit to see if the decoration matches the mood.  My simple dress or jeans and a t-shirt could become seriously chic, sexy, silly, quirky, bold, or whatever feels right in the moment. Next time you go shopping, try buying something different; gold instead of your silver (or vice versa), something a little chunkier, crazier, or even sleeker than usual. As you grow more accustomed to stepping out of your shell, you can mix things up a bit, but the beginner stylist should start with a clean palette (a...

. A blogumn by Ryan Dixon FIERCELY ANTICIPATING Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency by Barton Gellman. I may be threatening to enter uncharted nerd territory by writing about a book that explores the behind the scenes machinations of the Bush administration for the second week in a row, but this newly released tome is the first to fully focus on the most controversial and enigmatic character in our long national Commedia dell’Arte-cum-Jacobean Tragedy: Dick Cheney. In most previous works that explore Bushworld (thanks, Maureen Dowd), Cheney comes off as a sort of Voldemort of the Rockies, lurking in the shadows as his more high-profile subordinates go about his bidding. That this new book places him center stage could very well prove to be a creative challenge for Gellman. How do you shine a bright enough light on a person whose very tenebrous secrecy is the reason for such ongoing fascination? I’m rooting for Gellman to succeed in creating a fully nuanced portrait as opposed to the sort of generic, Freudian simplification that Thomas Harris succumbed to in doing so much damage to the literary legacy of Hannibal Lecter; while the Grand Guignol Hannibal remains one of my favorite literary guilty pleasures, Hannibal Rising was a smelly, bulbous turkey of a novel. And yes, I am fully aware that I’m comparing our Vice President to a cannibalistic serial killer, but I’d like to believe that the self-deprecating Cheney might actually take this analogy as a compliment. In stores now. KINDA WANT TO SEE Mandy Patinkin in The Tempest. Sadly, I’m not provided with enough space to fully detail the level of artistic admiration and love I feel for the man who has given the world both Inigo Montoya and a signing Che Guevara. With that...

. A blogumn by Ryan Dixon On the subject of what to do this weekend… FIERCELY ANTICIPATING The food at the Los Angeles County Fair. While Southlanders on low-carb diets may equate a trip to the fair with the Bataan Death March, for those of us who assume that technology will advance fast enough in the next 20 years to allow Nanobots to clear out our sure-to-be-clogged arteries, there’s nothing better. Here’s just a sampling of the deep-fried delicacies I can’t wait to taste:  Snickers, Oreos, avocado, Pop Tarts, Cheese Ravioli, Spam, frog legs, Twinkies, pickles, zucchini, banana pudding, cheesecake, Milky Way bars, Coke, White Castle burgers, and, my favorite from last year, the deep-fried Krispy Kreme chicken sandwich. In between the eating, I hope to rid my body of at least a few hundred of the newly arrived caloric compadres by heading over to the Winter Wonderland expo where one can ice skate in the indoor rink, sled down the “sledding ramp” and use the fake snow that falls every half hour to start, well, a fake snow ball fight. Thru September 28th. KINDA WANNA READ The War Within: A Secret White House History, 2006-2008. Aside from a mile-long title that I find strangely reminiscent to X2: X-Men United, I’m excited to dig into the fourth part of Bob Woodward’s chronicle of the Bush presidency. As usual per the Woodward brand, the book includes a host of juicy headline grabbing behind-the-scenes events including revelations about the intense spying the Bush administration subjected upon Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and his government. . WOULDN’T GO IF YOU PAID ME ApologetiX: Live in Concert. For those readers living in or near Farmer City, IL, this Saturday night you’ll have the opportunity to hear the miraculous...

. A Proof of Nerd ID by Ryan Dixon Devastating News Dear friends, It is my sad duty to inform you that on September 1, 2008, STAR TREK: THE EXPERIENCE at the Las Vegas Hilton closed its doors forever. I know that for the many of you who enjoyed experiencing “Klingon Encounter” and “Borg Invasion 4D” while drinking a “Borg Sphere” or a “Warp Core Breach,” this news will come as a shock. And for those who never got the chance to experience what was perhaps the greatest immersive interactive entertainment experience of its time, my heart goes out to you. It’s hard to put into words the loss that I (and am sure, you) feel right now. But, as they say, life goes on and STAR TREK: THE EXPERIENCE will live forever in our memories. All the best, Ryan Farewell, Sweet Friend, Farewell Cartoon Credit: Zanaq . Note from the Editor: This is an actual email that Ryan sent around to all of his friends. When I asked if I could post it on Fierce and Nerdy, he wrote, “ Yes, that’s fine. It will probably help people deal with the...