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Caught My Man Watching Gay Porn! Ask Dr. Miro [What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I caught my boyfriend watching gay porn. I mean, really gay porn… He’s totally not into my vagina anymore, right?

Sincerely,
A. Lotta Vagine

Dear ALV,

It is possible you snagged yourself a closeted beau but not necessarily. Before you spin out of control with negative accusations, keep in mind there is an entire spectrum of desire in regards to sexuality, existing in us all. Just because he enjoys some intense Man on Man action does NOT negate his desire for your lovely lady parts. I know there are some out there who will read this and say, “EW – no way! He’s into dudes.” but take a pause before continuing down that road. Women can enjoy Lesbian porn and not get worried about whether or not they are gay so you can see, in a lot of ways, this becomes a societal prejudice against male sexuality! Seeing one or more people engaging in juicy passionate sexiness can be a super hot turn on, regardless of the orientation(s) and gender(s) involved.

It is helpful to think of what Dr. Joe Kort says, “As if the sex act itself makes you gay!? It’s not the act; it’s really your orientation… This is separate from the sexual fantasies!” Even if your boyfriend likes putting things where the sun doesn’t shine, either with the help of a friend or on his own, it does not mean he is gay. (See Peg Him!) Look at it this way: if you fantasize about burning down your old high school, does that make you an arsonist?

Instead of freaking out on him, calmly ask about this newly discovered predilection. Applaud your lover on his ability to explore his desires without caving to Society’s labels. It is quite possible to enquire as to whether this is strictly fantasy or if it is something he would like to experience in the flesh. Open up those channels of communication so you both feel comfortable discussing what really turns you on and off.

Remember dear Readers: hardly anyone is a Kinsey 0 or 6. How boring would this world be if everyone was the exact same? We are all on that Sexual Continuum in which our sexualities exist in fluid-like states, ebbing, flowing and changing through out our lifetimes.

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

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