Cheating Man Child! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

Why does a man have to cheat to make himself feel secure? I keep dating these guys who HAVE to go screw other women in order for them to feel OK. The way they have worded it, after I catch them, makes sense but then I step away and I realize it’s a load of bulls**t.

Hurt Too Many Times

Dear HTMT,

First off, no one has to cheat to make his or herself secure. Feeling good about yourself is something that comes from with in. No amount of extra curricular sexcapades will increase a person’s self worth.

Sounds like you have been with a few too many insecure jerks. Not that I like to put a negative label on anything but, smooth talking boys and girls who claim they need to lie and cheat are just not the type of people you need to be around.

What is it that keeps you going into relationships with fellows who not only feel crappy about themselves but insist on being unfaithful? I am definitely NOT blaming you for these dalliances outside of your couplings but I think it is important to notice patterns.

If the same thing keeps happening and the only constant is you, then that is who needs to make adjustments. Most men and women have old stories from childhood. These tend to play out in their adult relations. This could be connected to how you interacted with males as a kid or even how you saw men and women relating to each other around you.

There are so many ways to look at this but mainly, I want you to take a step back and think about what it is you are trying to get from these “men”. Are they really going to be able to provide what you desire?

Maybe you feel insecure, as well, and part of you does not yet feel worthy of being with someone who will devote himself to you and you alone.

Essentially, any man who has to cheat on another person to feel better is not really a man, yet. The same holds true for women. If a person wants to have a lot of different experiences, they should.

But, not at the expense of another person’s heart. This is where maturity and honesty come in to play. Figure out what you are looking for. It is out there.

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

Image Credit: IBT