Dating Ell-A: Put dwn the fone

I was waiting in line at the coffee shop for my caffeine fix when the guy behind me started to talk to me. He seemed nice, well-dressed and average looking. After getting my coffee and chatting with him for about 15 minutes, he asked if he could take me to lunch sometime.

Since I’m trying to date more people and spend more time on the dating scene (which let’s be honest, I don’t really enjoy), I said yes and gave him my phone number.

He said he would call later that night and arrange a time and place for us to meet.

Like the hopeless romantic I am, I thought it would be fun to meet someone new.  Who knows…maybe we’d even hit it off.

About 30 seconds after giving him my number, grabbing my coffee and heading out the door, I received my first text message – the standard name and number text.

30 minutes later, I receive not one, but two:

Phone call- no message

Phone call- no message

Then a text.  “It was a pleasure 2 meet u “wifey” lol! And I want us to go to lunch or dinner later this week so we can spend some time 2gether and get to know each other and ill show u that ill treat you like “my” queen lol and if u treat this sexy guy like the king that I am you’ll have a white 4krt diamond with a platinum band on it from “Harry Winston” on your cute finger! Lol”

And then, another 15 minutes later:

Phone call-no message

Phone call- no message

Then, another text: “Uh! U don’t even pick up the phone! Wow I haven’t got time for games”

And yet again, another:

Phone call-no message

Phone call-no message

Phone call-no message

And then, another text message of lovely dating banter that is now way past appropriate: “I can tell u been dealing with these fake lame insecure cali guys who play games 4 2 long lol!”

Then, you guessed it!   Another round of

Phone call-no message

Phone call-no message

Finally, I sent a text hoping he would stop.  Out of all the nice, average-looking guys in LA, why did I land a looney tune like this one?   Here was my one text message back:   Great meeting you today. Don’t think I have the time to date new people during the holidays. Wish you the best.”

However, I think my message was not received. Within one minute, I received the following:   “New people lol! Ditch that lame guy ur wasting ur time with and come be with the best “me”! lol”

And another:  “This guy is the best forget the rest they are a joke! Lol”

“So if you don’t call back its ur loss and u can go back  2 dealing with these dusty lame insecure weak jealous bitch made cali guys because they are all trash lol!

Lol! After being here for 16yrs I’ve learned that cali women love to date these dusty out-of-shape,  lame guys only because they spend money and do what  you want lol those aren’t men those are bitches lol! And some of you sleep with them and some marry them ewww lol and some have kids with them ewwwww lol! Wow

Hell if I was a hot girl I won’t be seen with 98% of the guys out here lol! That’s because I have higher standards won’t settle 4 less! Lol “truth hurts”

So get your mind right and call back or continue messing with trash! Lol

Guess that’s why I’m single because cali women are trash! Lol

I know you are shocked because u weren’t expecting me 2 b so “real” because ur used 2 these “fake” guys! LOL!

LOL!”

Finally, I sent the following: “Please stop texting me.”

Then he sent “What u doing? Lol

Lol! Wow you cali females are so fake and phony lol

LOL! Good luck with these lame insecure guys LOL

Cali women like lame broke dusty insecure guys! LOL ewwww

Cali guys are trash LOL and any female who dates 1 or sleeps with 1 is dumb LOL!”

Needless to say, I had to drive home and sit on my couch just to re-group.  All this insanity in one day?  I may expect it from a local who’s gone over the edge, but from a guy who is clearly not from LA?    I hope whoever taught this guy how to interact with women is severely punished in a later life!   LOL!

featured image credit: Ðeni