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Does Paris Hilton Know What Devassa Bem Loura Means? [Tall Glass of Shame]

Let’s talk this week about a few things I have come across while scanning the world of Brazilian TV here in Rio. First thing I saw when I turned on the boob tube was literally just that, I saw a woman dancing the samba in nothing more than some strappy heels and some glittery body paint. Obviously Carnaval had started before I even knew it. This gorgeous dancing samba queen was none other than Globeleza herself. How do I best explain Globeleza to you? Globeleza is the name that has been given to Globo TV Channel’s muse of Carnaval, and since Globo TV is considered to be the final word on everything television here, in her own way she is the muse of Carnaval. Every year a new commercial is made to air on Globo showing Globeleza in all her nearly naked glory samba-ing her way into our living rooms. She has an incredible body and can win any dance off, so watch out girl’s she isn’t playing around. After seeing this year’s video I am halfway tempted to do my own bizarre version with some glitter body paint as a Halloween costume. Check it out, here is the video shown on TV this year for Globeleza 2012! (Maybe NSFW?)

If you want a good laugh you should scan youtube for the parodies of her, they are priceless.

Of course, sex sells in any language, but my favorite anecdote has been hearing about a beer called Devassa Bem Loura that got Paris Hilton to be their spokesperson in 2010. Devassa Bem Loura roughly translates to Blonde Whore, or Blonde Bitch, people say they told her it meant Hot and Blonde. This year’s big spokesperson is Hugh Heffner and 4 blonde girls, you do the math. Here is the ad for Devassa with Paris Hilton, are they laughing with her or at her?

Besides the occasional news program, imported American TV shows, or the unwatchable (even in Brazil) Big Brother Brazil, you have the Novella. Brazilian Novelas are everywhere, you can’t turn on the TV or swing a dead cat without hitting one! I was lucky enough while here in Rio to get a personal tour of Globo TV’s Pro Jac Studios, where almost everything from Globo TV is filmed. This is the epicenter of television in Brazil and where all of the modern novellas like “A Vida Da Gente” and “Fina Estampa” are made. People live for these daily stories here and they have much higher production values than what we are used to calling “Soap Operas” here in the US. Take an american soap opera, crank up the drama to SUPERHIGH, add a rich class poor class struggle, and throw in a varied time period or plot line and you have yourself a novella. They typically have a much shorter run here, so they are not like the 20 -30 year old staples we have in the US. (some of those old girls like All My Children should have been put down years ago!) These are special shows that run for a few months and then they are done, they are jam packed with drama and keep you on the edge of your seat. Novellas get you hooked on the drama, throw in some huge twists and end with a bang. I have to say, I kind of adore watching them. Check out this fun video that gives you a taste of what the Brazilian Novella is like, there are subtitles so enjoy the craziness!

In a famous novella from the 90′s “Rainha Da Sucada,” high society woman Laurinha Figueroa will stop at nothing to destroy the life of her competition for a certain man’s affection. Check out this video with english subtitles that shows you the big climactic moment of the series from 1990! The end is unbelievable and makes me laugh every time!

A very special thanks goes out to my wonderful tour guide and future husband Levi! Without him to explain all this crazy stuff I keep seeing here I would be so lost! Next time I will fill you all in on the rest of this amazing trip once I get back and have a little time to digest everything. Love from Brazil!