![Don’t Give ‘Em Something To Talk About! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]](http://fierceandnerdy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Shush.jpeg)
Don’t Give ‘Em Something To Talk About! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]
Dear Dr. Miro,
My girlfriend Will. Not. Stop talking about our sex life to her friends and now I find out her family knows intimate details about us, too. This makes me waaaay uncomfortable. I ask her to stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of her relationships. Demands why I want her to stop being in communication with her friends and fam. How else do I deal with this? They are my friends, too PLUS I am SO not looking forward to any family gatherings.
Sincerely,
Embarrassed to Leave the House
Dear EtLtH,
So you are involved with someone who over shares and does not respect your wishes or comfort zones. This sounds extremely awkward and rather disrespectful. Could it also be symptomatic of other facets of your life together? It does not seem like you have a very safe space together.
There are certain people who do not need access to these personal experiences you two are sharing. Try to come to an agreement on who you both are all right having on that list. Let her know this is not about preventing any and all communication with her loved ones – that is ridiculous – but rather, it is about keeping some things private. Healthy relationships work when both parties are able to hear each other. If you ask, in a non-demanding manner, to limit the juicy details in discussions with others and she refuses, you may need to exit this situation. Really, it is all about what resonates deep inside you both. Perhaps, this is her way and she will never change – can you live with that? If she does not “get” how this is offensive AND you remain uncomfortable with it, there is not much potential of a good life together.
Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro
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featured image credit: ecastro
This is a great answer, and as a fellow gabby gab, I think it helps to set boundaries as opposed to making it seem like there’s something wrong with her. She might be accusatory because she feels like she is being persecuted or unfairly maligned. Also, you can only take this so far. At the end of the day, no one wants to have her spoken words policed. It seems like a small thing, but this just might be a relationship breaker for them. Sometimes it really is the small stuff.