Double Standard!! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]
Dear Dr. Miro,
I REALLY like this boy, let’s call him “Y”. Every time we hang it’s INCREDIBLE! Y makes me so turned on but he refuses to say what our status is. I ask point blank, “Are we exclusive or are we friends with benefits” but he never gives a straight answer.
THEN, I find out Y is dating other girls so I thought, “that is my answer.” I went out with some friends, met this other boy (let’s call him “F”) and we got pretty close. My friend posted a picture of us snuggling on her bed and now Y won’t return any of my texts.
I know he saw the picture but really?! I can make-out with guys if he can be with other girls, right? I still want to be with Y but it feels like a double standard and something doesn’t feel right. What do I do?
I would be exclusive with him if he would be with me but why should I bother saving myself for someone who can’t give me a straight answer?
Annoyed & Lusting
If what you want is an adult relationship, you will need someone with whom you can communicate. I am happy you were able to have a delicious experience with “Y” but it seems he wants to play childish games.
Do not be sucked into this double standard he insists upon. You get to do whatever you want with whomever you want until specific boundaries are established. Even then, those boundaries will be YOURS so you will still get to do what you want within the parameters YOU have set for yourself and the lucky object(s) of your affection.
You know exactly what is going on. Your instincts have guided you correctly. If what you want is confirmation from me then you have it.
Do not “bother saving yourself for someone who can’t give you a straight answer.” Always listen to that gut feeling because when something feels wrong, it usually is. Do NOT allow him to interfere with your intuition.
Pay attention to what feels authentic.
Lust & Happiness,
Feature Image Credit: Men’s Fitness