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FaN Boos: Our Worst Movies of 2008

The darkest hour is just before dawn, and we spent some dark hours in movie theaters this year. Click on the titles of the non-mainstream movies to view trailer.

The Blue Hour. It’s sad and boring and everybody dies in it. To her credit, my friend who invited me to the screening didn’t know what we were walking into. The worst part was the director was at the screening and I had to do my best to not loudly sigh and say obnoxious things about how horribly boring and sad it was. — Tabitha from “Fierce Science”

nyeinmkgameThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button. If every person in Forrest Gump was killed at the end of their part of the story, you would have the same movie. Just rent Big Fish for the story about life and loss, then rent Romeo and Juliet for the tragic love story. Both much better movies and I think the running time of both combined is shorter than B.B. — CH from “Buy Your Geek This”

Downloading Nancy. A based-on-a-true-story (read: no happy ending) film about a woman who hires a guy to kill her. Ok, the production value was slick, and the acting was quite good (Maria Bello does the best freakouts), but I ask you, why?  It just made me feel dirty. — Gudrun from “Secret Life of a Nerd Girl”

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. I know don’t ask!  We rented it on Netflix and it was absolutely horrible.  Why?  The acting was bad, the story was lame and even the action was bad.  Geez, if you watch a movie like that and the fight scenes suck then what’s the point!?!? — Monique from “Political Physics”

The most disappointing film was easily Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Before the movie was released, I would confidently argue with any colleague or friend who didn’t share my level of excitement, “Forget about the Star Wars prequels, this is Indiana Jones. Seriously, how bad can Lucas and Spielberg screw it up?” Answer: Really bad. — Ryan from “Fierce Anticipation”

Iron Man. God was it looooooong! And I am over CGI being the most important part of a movie. Hey, I know, what about a plot? What about a character arc? While we’re at it, how about some strong female characters with more than four scenes? Or maybe just a woman that isn’t there to serve or fuck the male lead. — Kaboom from “Venice Flytrap”

I didn’t think Juno was as good as what everyone else said. That one guy in it always plays the same sort of character. I don’t even know his name, but come on! I am really bad with movies! — Missy from “Dork Lifestyle”

nyeseven_pounds_posterNothing Like the Holidays – what, you’ve never heard of it? It’s that Christmas movie that was released to zero fanfare a few weeks ago. A great cast of talented actors (Alfred Molina, Elizabeth Pena, John Leguizamo, Freddy Rodriguez, Debra Messing, Luis Guzman) squandered on ridiculous “faux family” tripe – derivative derivative derivative. And did I mention derivative? — Charles from “Thought Chuck”

I’d have to say Quantam of Solace was my least favorite movie of the year. The plot seemed to take a backseat to the chases. And good God there were a lot of chases. There was a point when Bond was on a plane, and I turned to my boyfriend and whispered, “are we going to have a plane chase now?” And then later in the movie…there was a PLANE CHASE. It was over the top in a laughable way, and I’m pretty sure that was not what they intended. — Robin from “Wonderfully Awful”

Seven Pounds. Bad plotting, stupid situation, terrible pacing, all in the obvious interest of trying to jerk tears from my dry-as-a-bone eyes. The last time I felt this manipulated, I pressed charges. Not really, but the point it how could you Will Smith? — etc

In theatres, the worst movie was The X-Files: I Wanted to Heave.  It was frustrating to watch idiots bring back the franchise that ended long enough ago to make people not really care if they made another movie.  This would have been a bad episode, but then they wasted money making this dreck.  It had none of the originality or humor that the series had.  Stupid Chris Carter and his paycheck movie. — Amy from “Tall Drink of Nerd”

And keeping it random…

My list of screenings was low but I saw a coupla crappy theatrical productions. I appreciate audiences going to live theatre, but not when it comes to supporting crap. — Kelli from “Fierce in Seattle”

It takes a lot for me to hate a movie!   I can enjoy even the worst of them.  — Delia Hauser from “Chic Geek”

BPD is really into bad/old horror and sci-fi movies.  Sometimes this can be great fun: we both got a kick out of The Blob and appreciated the intelligence behind The Night of the Living Dead.   But in the words of The Facts of Life theme song: “You take the good, you take the bad…” The Creature Walks Among Us is solidly in bad territory.  Terrible acting, terrible script, terrible creature suit.  It wasn’t even fun bad; it was just bad. — Redheaded Stepchild

The worst movie I saw this year was delightful: Fair Wind to Java from 1953, with Fred McMurray as a sea captain, part of American Cinematheque’s Tiki festival at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood—a great place to see movies. We expected Fistful of Dollars. Our mistake: that was at the Aero. Stayed and had a great time. — Jeff from “Hippie Squared”