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Fierce Anticipation: October 3-5


A blogumn by Ryan Dixon


Religulous / An American Carol
Not since 2004’s The Passion of the Christ and Fahrenheit 9/11 have two movies been released that so perfectly represent the opposing views in our national Cold War of ideology. While it’s almost a given that Maher’s film (directed by Borat helmer Larry Charles) will be funny, smart, controversial and probably slightly condescending, the real question is whether or not An American Carol, a “patriotic” updating of Dickens’ seminal work directed and co-written by out-of-the closet conservative David Zucker (he of the ZAZ trio), will actually be funny. While Conservatives are masters of humor in literature (Kingsley Amis, Christopher Buckley, G.K. Chesterton, for starters), their attempts at striking the funny bone in film and television have turned them into the multi-media equivalent of the Washington Generals.  However, with the support of the “Friends of Abe,” an Illuminati-like collection of Hollywood conservatives started by Gary Sinise, Zucker has assembled a fairly impressive cast that includes charter F.O.A. members Jon Voight (as George Washington), Kelsey Grammer (as General Patton) and the Matisse of ethnic villains himself, the great Robert Davi, whose portrayal of the Arab terrorist Aziz marks quite a departure from his most recent role as the gravel voiced narrator of all those film montages shown at this year’s Republican National Convention.


Minus 5
After Star Trek: The Experience shuttered its doors forever last month, I wondered if I could ever love Vegas in the same way again.  Suffice it to say with the recent opening of Minus 5, I may be taking off my black armband.  Simply stated, Minus 5, located in Mandalay Bay, is a lounge completely made of ice, 18 tons of it to be exact. For only $30 you get a parka, one free drink – the glass is made of ice, of course – and 30 minutes inside, the maximum threshold for the human body to comfortably endure such a cold climate.  If you enjoy your experience at Minus 5, may I suggest taking the frigid fantasy one step further by staying overnight inside an actual ice hotel, the two most popular of which are located in Canada and Sweden?


Maybe the F.O.A. are right, and we coastal dwellers in league with that all-powerful cabal known as the MSM, really don’t get it. How else to explain the phenomenon of people lining up to see Kirk Cameron “star” in a movie? After saving fictional souls during the Tribulation and real ones–in the form of bald gang members–at the Santa Monica pier, Mike Seaver is back as a firefighter trying to save his marriage. Unlike most bad movies, which are usually allowed to proceed quietly down the river Styx and into the netherworlds of cable without having anyone actually pay to see them, Fireproof earned $6.8 million dollars at the box office last weekend, an astounding amount given its Book of Ruth-sized marketing budget and the fact that it only played in 839 theaters. But don’t let me convince you not to see it. Any movie where the greatest critical praise, according to its own website, comes from the Senior VP of Chick-fil-A should be enough to do the trick:

“On top of a powerful message and the potential to change lives and marriages this is one great movie!”  – Bubba Cathy, Senior VP of Chick-fil-A

But if that’s not enough to convince you, please watch the Fireproof trailer below: