FIERCE ANTICIPATION: The Jersey Joe Edition

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a substitute blogumn by Jersey Joe

Regular readers of Ryan Dixon’s blogumn have undoubtedly noticed my rants in the comments section below the majority of these FA posts.  I was surprised and honored when I received Ryan’s phone call at 3am from the 112^th precinct, to ask if he could bum $50 for bail, and also if I could fill in this week.

I kind of feel like that substitute teacher, suddenly thrown in front of a class without a lesson plan.  So, what’s the best way to keep the class occupied?  Roll in that cart with a TV on it and instantly – you’re a hero!  So, I think I’ll try the same here.

 

WOULDN’T WATCH IF YOU PAID ME

NBC

I’m going contra flow to the normal lineup for this column, because I’ve really got something on my mind… What’s up with NBC… BLOWING IT?!?!?!

Just about anything and everything NBC touches this season has been a disaster.  First, just about everybody knew that putting The Jay Leno Show on at 10pm was going to be a flop.  Then, last week, I saw a promo for their new game show “Minute to a Million” hosted by the most annoying Food Network chef ever: Guy Fieri.  What’s up with this guy?  Spiked hair, annoying sayings, dumb wrist band.  So, what qualifies him as a game show host?  Finally this week, how about NBC bailing out of the closing ceremonies of the Winter Olympics too quickly to get to the premiere of Jerry Seinfeld’s “The Marriage Ref?”  I don’t believe Bob Costas himself, knew what was going on.

The answer: Jeff Zucker, the President and CEO of NBC Universal.  How this guy still has a job is beyond me.  If I worked a drive- thru and screwed up a ton of orders, I would be fired.  So, this guy, screws up an entire network, costs millions of dollars in jobs and advertising, and reduces the once proud peacock network to “Minute to a Million.”  I ask you, who does he know that he still has a job?

Jeff’s career began as a field producer for “The Today Show” back in the late 80’s.  He quickly rose through the ranks from Executive Producer to finally an executive position within the top brass of NBC.

Initially, he made some smart moves.  Moving “The Today Show” to their street level set, super-sizing sitcoms to over 30 minutes, scoring Donald Trump’s The Apprentice, and great shows such as Las Vegas and Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

But, after all of that build up… came the crash.  It all started around 2004 with flops like Father of the Pride and Joey. It’s like watching a 50 car pile up in the middle of a snowstorm… just one accident after another.

NBC’s second problem: Bad Planning.  Once the powerhouse shows of the 90’s were done, they really didn’t have anything good on the back burner to take the places of Friends,Frasier, and Seinfeld.  Sure, Law and Order is going strong, but even the quality on that onceproud show has dipped.

For the record, up until the Olympics, one of the highest-rated, regularly-scheduled shows on NBC was The Biggest Loser. Fitting.

FIERCELY ANTICIPATING

Wink is back! Wink is back! THANK GOD — Wink is back!

Wink Martindale!  Most of you are saying, who?

One of the original and greatest game show hosts of all time is back on the air.  He began hosting “Instant Recall” on Game Show Network last night.  In the days when television executives are going for the younger demographic by hiring hipper and younger hosts such as Drew Carey, Wayne Brady, and Meredith Viera; long gone are our old favorites such as Bob Barker, Bob Eubanks, and Bill Cullen.  Sure, Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek are still on the air, but for how long?  Both of their contracts are up in the next few years.

As for Wink, his first mega hit came in the 1970’s on CBS with “Gambit.”  This show premiered the very same day “The Price is Right” first hit the CBS daytime air.  He hosted at least 15 other games shows, with most of us now remembering his mega hits “Tic Tac Dough” and “Debt.”  However recently, Wink could only be found appearing in commercials for Dijourno Pizza and Orbitz.

It’s great to see the GSN executives putting a quality, talented host back on the air, and he still has it.  It’s sad to see what’s become of some of these other former greats, such as the original host of “The $25,000 Pyramid,” Dick Clark.  Why is he still on the air? Watching him trying to countdown at New Year’s is so sad and absolutely uncomfortable to watch.  But, Wink… you’ve still got it!  Call me a loser if you must, but I’ll be watching…

KINDA WANNA SEE

More Commercials for Medication

I’m absolutely in love with the latest trend in advertising – commercials for medication!  Flip on daytime or late night TV, and you’ll see at least one every other commercial break.  The best part for me is the disclaimers and the odd b-roll.  Sure, I’m all about people quitting the disgusting smoking habit.  But, I’m not sure I want them around me when they have the shakes, hallucinations, and severe behavioral changes that can lead to hostility.

Anyhow, here’s a few of my favorites…

CHANTIX

Thanks to the great folks at Pfizer for this one!  I’m not smoking anymore… but now I’m suicidal, I’ve got a swollen face with rash, and I’m having strange and vivid dreams… YES!  Also, look how we get to stare at her enjoying a magazine while we get to hear all the disclaimers.  You need something to pass the time while the announcer just keeps talking. [Click on the word Chantix to watch the commercial]

LIBERATOR MEDICAL:

Thanks to Liberator Medical – she’s so happy now every time she has to cath!  Plus, watch for the kitty to pay her a visit at the end…  we’re all so happy now that we can cath!  How many times can they say the word cath in this one?  My biggest question, why is she in the middle of a field talking about this?  There’s nowhere else we could think about shooting this?

HEARTLINE MEDICAL:

This one, I just happened to find by accident.  The sound effects are way over the top!  But, is anyone else disturbed how they drop a box of catheters and other things over and over on the handicapped guy?  That’s just wrong!

LIBERTY MEDICAL AGAIN:

Finally, I just had to give a shout out to whoever edited all of those Wilford Brimley Dia-beeetis commercials together into this.  So good, this even got parodies on “The Family Guy”