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Fierce Foodie: What To Eat When You Wake Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed


a blogumn by Roya Hamadani

Photo Credit: C. Young Photography

Photo Credit: C. Young Photography

Sometimes I wake up so exhausted down to the very marrow of my being that I don’t even want to chew.  I don’t want to hold anything between my teeth, grind it into bits and mix it with saliva and force it down my throat.  I’m so tired and disgusted with the world that basic feeding is just something I am not willing or able to accomplish, and yet I want breakfast.  Specifically I want a warm, sweet, filling breakfast to slide down my throat and let me believe that the day might get better.  What do I do?  I’ll tell you what I do: blend up a fruity oatmeal smoothie.

Drinking oatmeal mixed with fruit and yogurt is the sort of thing I never imagined I might enjoy when I was a kid.  Back then I ate Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms and Frankenberry and Count Chocula and drank the sugary, colored milk with glee.  Basically it’s a miracle I still have teeth.  But now that I’m older I crave the warm filling comfort of oatmeal without having to masticate its semi-mush consistency.  Oh yes, there’s nothing that tells you you’re getting closer to death like the refusal to chew and swallow what is essentially already slop.

Strawberry Oatmeal Breakfast Smoothie (Face it, you’re getting old.)

Oatmeal (uncooked), ½ cup

Plain Greek or vanilla yogurt, 1 cup

Milk, ½ cup

A handful or two frozen strawberries

Honey, 1 tbsp

Grind the oatmeal in a blender until powdery, unless you enjoy gritty chunks in your smoothie.  Add remaining ingredients and blend until smooth.  Add milk until desired consistency is reached.  Ponder mortality and pour into glasses.  Serves 2.