Fierce in Seattle: The Seattle Freeze
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A blogumn by Kelli Bielema
I moved to Seattle in September of 2006. I was asked why I would move at the end of the summer when that time of year was the best to experience the city. Eh, logistics. I was also told it was hard to meet friends here and would encounter something known as “The Seattle Freeze.” This had nothing to do with the weather, but rather the chilly attitude and “freezing out” that people do in not only the winter months, but often year-round. Well, doesn’t that make you want to run to the church social and start a conversation? While I knew exactly 2 people when I moved up here, I wasn’t about to latch on to all their friends. Clearly, I would need to meet some co-workers. That first job garnered one friendship, but I haven’t seen her in over a year.
my pal lisa (not a chris) and me
What happens with the Freeze is that you meet someone, for the sake of this story, let’s say at work. This person, let’s call him/her Chris to keep it ambiguous, is charming, very friendly and courteous. Chris is someone who probably knows people since he/she is a native Seattleite. You run into Chris at the market today.
Chris: Well, hello, what a surprise!
You: Oh, hi Chris. What’s happening?
Chris: Oh, just getting some organic produce for my juicing. What are you up to? How are you liking Seattle?
You: Oh, it’s great. A little difficult to meet people, though.
Chris: Yeah, I hear it can be rough.
You: Maybe we could grab a drink or catch a movie sometime.
Chris: That would be fun, I’d be up for that anytime!
You: Super!
And scene.
Of course, you would surmise that a little email to Chris would be all it would take and you two could have your little outing, planting the seed for a beautiful new friendship that would blossom into lifelong memories. Not so fast, transplant. You’re likely to email Chris, and it will take a few months before he/she finally commits to a couple of hours with you at a coffee bar. It doesn’t matter that the two of you live 10 minutes from another. It doesn’t matter that Chris’s office is 3 blocks from yours. And it’s not that Chris thinks you are an idiot. Chris is simply socially negligent. He/she has friends already. Why feel obligated to be one of yours? It gets cold in the winter, and Chris’s comfort cocoon is calling. See you in May…perhaps.
I have met a few Chris-types. And I call them friends. Friends I don’t hang out with, but friends nonetheless. If any of my Chrises need a ride to the airport, I would oblige. A ride from the airport is another conundrum. And I’m happy to say I have met a fabulous group of people here and we get together regularly. We’re all transplants who bitch about the Freeze, so it naturally makes sense that we are part of the defrosting.
PS—There’s a Facebook page that I’ve joined called The Seattle Anti-Freeze that is a social events group that challenges the whole concept of the passive-aggressiveness here. Although I should mention, I have yet to attend an event. Look at me…fitting right in….
Oh "The Freeze"! As a non-transplant, I never knew there was a name for it…but I know first hand what you're talking about. In fact, despite being a native Pacific Northwesterner, I've been on the RECEIVING end of The Freeze many times. Suckarific.
For the record, Ms. Kelli, I'd hang out w/ you ANY DAY! :)
Freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze.
Oh my gosh, this reminds me so much of living in Pittsburgh that I'm in full flashback mode. I moved there only know Monique from Political Physics and her husband Brian and my sister. My sister moved, so then I was just left with Brian and Monique. The natives just didn't want to make new friends, especially with me it seemed — it probably didn't help that I was (and remain) a strange, black nerd. However, even before I went to Carnegie Mellon, I made a few friends there, thanks to Monique. And I found my fellow transplants by hook and crook around the city and on my temp jobs. My fellow Pittsburgh transplant and former roommate Roya from Fierce Foodie was my happiest find. But there were two natives who were willing to be my friends though, Missy from Dork Lifestyle and Jordan from Enough Already. Wow, I'm beginning to realize that almost everyone I knew well in Pittsburgh is now writing for this blog. That'll teach 'em to befriend transplants.
I think the Freeze can happen in any new town you move to. I moved to Athens in 2002 and I only feel like I have a decent friend base here after a long time. It is a little hard living in a town where you are not a student. My former roommate would tell me that people did not make plans here, you just sort of ran into them downtown and maybe hung out. What? I love (and still do) making plans for a sweet hang out.
Also – I loved hanging out with Ernessa and Roya! We were not allowed to be out on the town when Buffy was on, though!!
Hate Club. love it. although our soap would need to be made of vegan, organic compost.
PS-here's a documentary on the subject, made by some UW Extension students. yeah, the freeze is a local epidemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roC_nsdyi1I
(Gwynne-a lady on here suggests "join a church." get right on that.)
Amen. People always told me to "join clubs" when I first moved here — not like "go to events" or "get involved in a charity" — just "join clubs," which I always thought was a really weird suggestion for most people over the age of 14. Hating on Seattle Freeze is the number one way I've gained new friends here – including the good natured natives who can have a laugh at their hometown's expense.
Hate Club, like Fight Club with less defined abdomnial muscles.
Oh "The Freeze"! As a non-transplant, I never knew there was a name for it…but I know first hand what you're talking about. In fact, despite being a native Pacific Northwesterner, I've been on the RECEIVING end of The Freeze many times. Suckarific.
For the record, Ms. Kelli, I'd hang out w/ you ANY DAY! :)
Freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze.
Oh my gosh, this reminds me so much of living in Pittsburgh that I'm in full flashback mode. I moved there only know Monique from Political Physics and her husband Brian and my sister. My sister moved, so then I was just left with Brian and Monique. The natives just didn't want to make new friends, especially with me it seemed — it probably didn't help that I was (and remain) a strange, black nerd. However, even before I went to Carnegie Mellon, I made a few friends there, thanks to Monique. And I found my fellow transplants by hook and crook around the city and on my temp jobs. My fellow Pittsburgh transplant and former roommate Roya from Fierce Foodie was my happiest find. But there were two natives who were willing to be my friends though, Missy from Dork Lifestyle and Jordan from Enough Already. Wow, I'm beginning to realize that almost everyone I knew well in Pittsburgh is now writing for this blog. That'll teach 'em to befriend transplants.
I think the Freeze can happen in any new town you move to. I moved to Athens in 2002 and I only feel like I have a decent friend base here after a long time. It is a little hard living in a town where you are not a student. My former roommate would tell me that people did not make plans here, you just sort of ran into them downtown and maybe hung out. What? I love (and still do) making plans for a sweet hang out.
Also – I loved hanging out with Ernessa and Roya! We were not allowed to be out on the town when Buffy was on, though!!
Hate Club. love it. although our soap would need to be made of vegan, organic compost.
PS-here's a documentary on the subject, made by some UW Extension students. yeah, the freeze is a local epidemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roC_nsdyi1I
(Gwynne-a lady on here suggests "join a church." get right on that.)
Amen. People always told me to "join clubs" when I first moved here — not like "go to events" or "get involved in a charity" — just "join clubs," which I always thought was a really weird suggestion for most people over the age of 14. Hating on Seattle Freeze is the number one way I've gained new friends here – including the good natured natives who can have a laugh at their hometown's expense.
Hate Club, like Fight Club with less defined abdomnial muscles.