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Fierce in Seattle: Too Much, Magic Bus
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a blogumn by Kelli Bielema
A decade in L.A. without possession of a motor vehicle is a thought that would send most Angelenos barreling off the Ventura Highway. There are a few options to travel using the local Metro system, but it is unreliable at best. As if traffic isn’t bad enough for cars, imagine a big ass bus in the middle of it. The subway system goes nowhere essential other than the Staples Center or Universal Studios, so good luck on that 90 minute bus-cum-train-cum-bus trip to LAX. I could never do it. Like, ever.
By no means is Seattle the bastion of expeditious travel, but the Metro bus system is generally simple to navigate and there are a number of ways to get to any destination in the city and the ‘burbs. There are express and local routes, ride free zones in the downtown area and many employers provide subsidies to their
staff members. I know quite a few residents who don’t own a car as it’s not necessary with such consistent
service. But I will say the service is sometimes without its smile or even without its service. Some of those
moments are after the jump…
Smells. Among them I’ve sniffed: urine, pizza, cigarette smoke, Dior J’adore, dog, salami, root beer, regular beer. This morning it was an incredibly fragrant flatulent fellow stinkin’ up my ride. I could have been wrong about him farting, as he may have actually shit his britches.
Idiots. Bus riding would be so much more pleasant if I were the only passenger aboard. Loud cell phone talkers, headphones blaring in the seat next to me, elbows poking me, bags hitting me in the face, super chatty dumb asses who didn’t realize the bus was an Express and want to get off now! Then there’s
that special reserve shithead who has been riding for the last 30 minutes, gets to the exit and just suddenly digs into his pockets for his fare. What a bunch of idiots.
Freaks. In the ride free area in Downtown Seattle, it’s an embarrassment of riches as I’ve won the nutbag lottery! Seattle has a growing homeless population, and not all of them are off the charts bananas, and I don’t want to seem insensitive, but…did you ever notice how most street people sound like
Beetlejuice? And then when they talk to one another…ah, the sweet cacophony of crazies.
Shorties. When the Express bus comes, you are thrilled that you are going to get home 8 minutes earlier than the local route. Then you notice it’s a short bus, not the stretch number with the accordion
middle that is really best suited for an express commute during rush hour. . Duffle bags in your face, groans from your seat neighbors, the odors clogging your skull. Crammed like smelly, idiotic freaks
While I like to claim I am so green (and promise to stop using the word “green” to describe my environmental consciousness) and ride the bus to save on fossil fuels & miscellany, I really just don’t want to pay $15 a day or $250 a month to park my car downtown. And no, I am not going to bike it because I kinda don’t wanna die and walking from my neighborhood to my office would take the better part of 2 hours. Until then, I will swipe my FlexPass and thank my driver for getting me home safely and in a mostly timely fashion. Even if I had to smell
cat litter hero sub to get there.
Oh how I miss public transportation!! You took me right back to the sights and sounds and smells of it all. Chicago has a very reliable system, but it sounds very similar to Seattle. You are so lucky!!
Oh how I miss public transportation!! You took me right back to the sights and sounds and smells of it all. Chicago has a very reliable system, but it sounds very similar to Seattle. You are so lucky!!
I can't remember where I read this, but here's a bus riding tip.
Sit in the middle. The talkative crazies sit in the front and the for real crazies sit in the back!
I can't remember where I read this, but here's a bus riding tip.
Sit in the middle. The talkative crazies sit in the front and the for real crazies sit in the back!
I rode public transportation all the way until I came to Los Angeles, and man-oh-man do I miss it. I don't care if it smells or if there's crazies, l'll love (and prefer) public transit until the day I go to the big bus in the sky.
I rode public transportation all the way until I came to Los Angeles, and man-oh-man do I miss it. I don't care if it smells or if there's crazies, l'll love (and prefer) public transit until the day I go to the big bus in the sky.
haha, sounds like the travel woes i had in new york. you may be pleased to know that l.a. is building more train lines & stops and supposedly is putting in a bunch of measures to make our giant metropolis more pubtrans friendly. it had better…. for all its own crazies and smells and messes and fighting your way on and people shoving into you, i sure miss the mass public transit of nyc…
haha, sounds like the travel woes i had in new york. you may be pleased to know that l.a. is building more train lines & stops and supposedly is putting in a bunch of measures to make our giant metropolis more pubtrans friendly. it had better…. for all its own crazies and smells and messes and fighting your way on and people shoving into you, i sure miss the mass public transit of nyc…
Yes, NYC, Chicago, London, Paris…now THOSE are places with pubtrans systems that are actually exciting, even somewhat romantic to ride. The speed, and hum of a train are what make them so much more enjoyable than a bus slamming on squeaky brakes, testing my motion sickness….
Yes, NYC, Chicago, London, Paris…now THOSE are places with pubtrans systems that are actually exciting, even somewhat romantic to ride. The speed, and hum of a train are what make them so much more enjoyable than a bus slamming on squeaky brakes, testing my motion sickness….
Hilarious — after two years carless in downtown Chicago I can totally relate.
Hilarious — after two years carless in downtown Chicago I can totally relate.
So many years of bus riding has put my tolerance and patience at pretty high levels. But the people who wait until they're next to the fare box to start digging in their pockets/purses/wallets for payment should be sent directly to the gas chambers. I loathe these people with so much irrationality it's unbelievable. Intense hatred.
So many years of bus riding has put my tolerance and patience at pretty high levels. But the people who wait until they're next to the fare box to start digging in their pockets/purses/wallets for payment should be sent directly to the gas chambers. I loathe these people with so much irrationality it's unbelievable. Intense hatred.
I love this post…
…although my only pet peeve is when the real shorties (aka school kids) get on the bus with their loud MTV type chatter. Thank goodness we have express routes!!
I love this post…
…although my only pet peeve is when the real shorties (aka school kids) get on the bus with their loud MTV type chatter. Thank goodness we have express routes!!