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Fierce in Seattle: Wired
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a blogumn by Kelli Bielema
I am a loser. I don’t have an iPhone. I live in the most wired city in America, so you can understand the pressure to fit in and have that sleek little packet of apps (which are fancy phone/computer applications, not appetizers, much to my chagrin). You can listen to music, look at photos, watch fucking movies!!!…oh, and the ability to make telephone calls.
I have the poor man’s iPhone, a Samsung—uh, I don’t know what it is. I can’t be bothered with that kind of crap. I call it my robot computer phone. I’m so incredibly technologically void that it’s a wonder I can even turn the thing on. It makes super-annoying rings with every appointment that is synced to my calendar. It keeps reminding you until you hit “dismiss.” And you can’t hit “dismiss” until you unlock it. FUCK! It won’t accept photos even though I pay for this feature. Yeah, I keep forgetting to call Verizon about it. In essence, technology and I aren’t such BFFs.
The cool thing about Seattle and technology is that Wi-Fi is everywhere. It’s not only in cafés and bars but it’s also on the stinking bus, yo! And you can get more than a wireless internet connection at a coffee house, you can actually get coffee!
Seattle, home of Starbucks, Tully’s and uh, doy, Seattle’s Best, is astoundingly number 2 on the Most Caffeinated City list, having been beat out by Tampa, Florida. Tampa? Hot coffee and muggy Florida sound like an awful combination if you ask me. I am delighted to admit I enjoy a soy latte in addition to my daily drip, but now there is an entire cult of cuppers. Cupping is coffee’s wine-tasting cousin and it comes with its own snotty following (not sure if pun is intended). Coffee joints like Stumptown, Vivace, and Victrola are awesome institutions of the junk and must be administered with the equal great care that is taken in creating their own individual artistry. Yeah, it’s intense, man.
Some people would be miserable without their hit of the bean, but there’s no misery in the Emerald City, no sir! It’s not on the list of America’s Most Miserable Cities! Our neighbor to the south, Portland tops the list. That comes as surprise to most of my NorPac friends as Portland is beautiful, artistic and for crying out loud, they have no sales tax!?!?!!! So, even with a rep as the suicide capital, Seattle is a pretty happy place. And so am I so let’s go get a mochalattechino and take our iBooks into a public toilet!
omg, I think I may have found my new fix. Cupping? Who knew?! Geeezus, I love my coffee…
omg, I think I may have found my new fix. Cupping? Who knew?! Geeezus, I love my coffee…
Oh noes, my hometown, St. Louis is at NUMBER TWO on the list. I knew there was a reason I moved…
Seriously though. Completely wired and overly-caffeinated sounds like a dream. If only Seattle weren't so rainy. Also, the cuppers do sound like they might be a little hard to bear.
Oh noes, my hometown, St. Louis is at NUMBER TWO on the list. I knew there was a reason I moved…
Seriously though. Completely wired and overly-caffeinated sounds like a dream. If only Seattle weren't so rainy. Also, the cuppers do sound like they might be a little hard to bear.
There is nothing to really do about the rain except apparently come up with more ridiculous ways to distract people from it with really weird things like cupping. I love me some cawfee, but think that whole process would make me puke.
There is nothing to really do about the rain except apparently come up with more ridiculous ways to distract people from it with really weird things like cupping. I love me some cawfee, but think that whole process would make me puke.
cupping? That sounds dirrrrrrty.
cupping? That sounds dirrrrrrty.
At first half-glance of your blogum entry, I thought I read "Most WEIRD city in America"…and I didn't even blink…
At first half-glance of your blogum entry, I thought I read "Most WEIRD city in America"…and I didn't even blink…
Here's the most weird cities in the world: http://www.theage.com.au/travel/worlds-top-10-wei…
Sadly, I have been to but only a few. Trip to Weirdsville, anyone?
Here's the most weird cities in the world: http://www.theage.com.au/travel/worlds-top-10-wei…
Sadly, I have been to but only a few. Trip to Weirdsville, anyone?
Oh shizz…apparently I'm on the trailing edge of technology AND trends. I don't own an iPhone. In fact I just got a phone with a keyboard ONLY because my flip phone died a sad little death. And sweet Jebus…I don't even drink coff-fay (as my dear friend James calls it). How am I allowed to stay in this town?!? Oh wait…I'm pasty white. I love the rain. And I see nothing wrong with not wanting to live a long life.
Oh shizz…apparently I'm on the trailing edge of technology AND trends. I don't own an iPhone. In fact I just got a phone with a keyboard ONLY because my flip phone died a sad little death. And sweet Jebus…I don't even drink coff-fay (as my dear friend James calls it). How am I allowed to stay in this town?!? Oh wait…I'm pasty white. I love the rain. And I see nothing wrong with not wanting to live a long life.