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Great Girl – Bad Lay! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn't Learn in Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I think I’ve met The One. She is the GREATEST girl. My problem is that she is BORING in bed. I feel like we can work on this, but I don’t know, so I’m looking to you for answers. Can you turn a bad lay into amazing sex? I want this to work. She accepts everything about me & everything is perfect about her to the point where we should spend the rest of our lives together. It’s just this sex thing is gnawing at me.

Sincerely,
Round Peg Square Hole

Dear RPSH,

For some, sex is not important. Whether bad or good they are not really affected. For most people, there is not enough time on this earth for perpetually boring and bad sex. The “rest of your life” is more than likely too long for a situation such as this. If your love life is a big yawn at the beginning when you have all the love endorphins pulsing through your bodies, how do you intend this to work 10 years down the road? Of course a dissatisfaction with your sex life is gnawing at you. Listen to that! Typically in the budding stages of a romantic relationship, when you are still fascinated by each other, the sex is automatically hot, or there is not much hope for the future. Of course there are exceptions to every rule – arranged marriages come to my head in that regard.

I am glad you used the phrasing “my problem” because that is exactly what it is. You say she is perfect but complain about a massive part of a long term sexual relationship! Why not be dear friends with this person as opposed to sexual partners? The best portions of your union seem to be the No-Sex parts. It is unfair to expect her to change so drastically to fulfill your needs. Many people make this mistake thinking it will get better or that it just is not that important and that they should settle down, ‘settle’ being the operative word. This is generally a lead up to future unfaithfulness and, or, misery. Even if your lovely girl were to improve some of her techniques, the fact remains you want her to be, or at least perform like, someone else. If you truly love this great woman, do not request she alter herself.

Stop squeezing oranges anticipating milk to pour out.

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

featured image credit: chooyutshing

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