Hanging With The Exes? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You didn’t Learn In Health Class]
Dear Dr. Miro,
Is it normal for a guy to hang out with his exes? This makes me really uncomfortable. I don’t want my boyfriend around a bunch of girls he used to have sex with but he gets mad at me and tells me, “We’re besties – nothing more.” I think this is weird and so do all my friends but he says I’m being paranoid and selfish.
Want My Man To Myself
Normal is a difficult word. What is normal for one person is completely bizarre for another. I have a few questions to ask him. What is he getting from being around his Exes? What did they have when they were sleeping together that they don’t have now? See if you can join him while he is having a hang session so you can better understand their connection and dissolve it as a potential threat. If he does not want you there, then there is a problem. Find out what it is he gets from these ex lovers that he feels is lacking in his life.
It is possible to be friends with your past flames. It is even possible to be best friends with an Ex but that is an EXTREMELY rare circumstance in which both parties realize they are in no way attracted to each other physically, but yet have a definite and intense connection. One key here is to understand the difference between flirty sexual interactions and strictly platonic. The other key here is my favorite word: COMMUNICATION. You are allowed to feel those feelings. If you are uncomfortable, sit with that discomfort for a bit and locate exactly what is triggering it. Let your boyfriend know how this is percolating. Unless you have agreed otherwise, it is a relationship between you and him not you, him and all his ex girlfriends. Try to resist name-calling or labeling each other like “selfish” and use it as an opportunity to discuss what you both want out of your current relationship.
Lust & Happiness,
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featured image credit: marsmet511