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Hung Like A Gorilla: Ask Dr. Miro [What You Didn’t Learn in Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I am with a man who pleases me so much in EVERY way. The only thing is, well, the size of his thing. He is way sensitive about it and has asked if he is big enough for me, and all that. He even asks if most of my past boyfriends were bigger than him! I want him to shut up about it but don’t really know what to say. Any suggestions?


Former Size Queen

Dear FSQ,

The best thing to say in these situations, especially when you do not want to lie is, “Baby, you are hung like a big sexy gorilla! Now shut up and get back to pleasing me like only YOU know how!” The fabulous part of this response is that the average size of an erect gorilla’s penis is 1.25 inches long. Needless to say, he does not need to know this information and unless he has spent considerable time observing Silverbacks, it will definitely ease his fears of inadequacy and enable him to feel like the incredible, sexual, manly primate, you need him to be

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

featured image credit: onkel_wart