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If You Ask Me: Just Say No to Dating Vegetarians

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a new blogumn by Travis Randall

There are a lot of things to consider when picking a girlfriend/boyfriend. For instance if you like to get your drink on and party it up you may not want to date even the most beautiful person in A.A. unless of course you are willing to change for someone…which is always a bad idea. Quitting drinking for the right person may indeed help you live longer and healthier, so it could be considered if you don’t mind losing the ability to be fun.

vegetarianI was posed with an interesting question recently, “Should I date a vegetarian?” The answer was super short and sweet…”NO!”.  Why would someone who follows the laws set forth by nature possibly consider spending quality time with someone who so flagrantly thumbs their nose at normalcy?

Throw out the joyous dates to All U Can Eat Brazilian Churrascarias, trips for BBQ by the pound, and glorious mornings enjoying each other’s company over a plate of bacon. Forget having a delightful drink over dinner as well. The only thing you could possibly drink with tofu would be wine. The only reason men drink wine is to pretend to be important, pretend to be smart, or impress a girl. Meat goes with things like whiskey, beer, punching, and awesomeness.

This brings me to the “girl dating a male vegetarian” scenario. Ladies, unless you want to be the one building decks, mowing lawns, and chasing away burglars in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t suggest it. Male vegetarians live comfortably in a country built my men and women who eat steaks.

Vegetarians also talk a lot about things like Global Warming, conspiracies, and health issues. No fun at a party, ever. If you are really unlucky you will get one that never shuts up about animal rights. Wow, that’s always a hoot.

Please consider these things before you meet and make more non-meat-eating normal human beings with one of these weirdos.

I would like to end this by saying I live happily in Los Angeles with my aquatarian girlfriend. Girls are allowed to be aquatarians if, and only if, they are super cute.

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Want more? Check out Travis Randall’s regular blog, RockandRollbbq.com!
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flickr.com photo credit: Alexandre Macedo