In Love With The Man! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I’m falling really deep for my boss. This is ridiculous. I’m in a great marriage with a hubby who loves me & I love him but I’m feeling like we don’t have anything in common anymore. Maybe all these long hours are beginning to take their toll?

He (my boss) just seems so smart and everything that I want to be around him all the time where as my husband has become really Meh. Nothing’s happened with my boss, physically, but it seems like it may be going that way. What do I do? I don’t want to ruin my marriage.

Sincerely,
Lost My Shiny & Love The Man

Dear LMS&LTM,

It is understandable that you are developing feelings for a man who is both NOT your husband AND has a position of authority. His special attention to you makes you feel unique which is more than likely missing from your marriage. That, actually, is something to keep in mind: perhaps your hubby is not feeling any special attention from you, either. Why not try to create something “shiny” between you and your betrothed? Bring this up to him. Tell him you are starting to feel as if the sparkle has faded and you want to do something about it. Be pro-active! That is, if you actually do want to change the situation. What was is it that made you fall in love with your husband? Try remembering these things and salvage what you can. Take a break from the day-to-day and go on a romantic vacation. Sometimes just getting out of your house for a long weekend together is enough to help re-kindle that dwindling fire.

If you are interested in saving your marriage, first examine what it is you are saving. You feel as if you do not have anything in common anymore? Figure out activities to create more similar situations to share. Make some memories and find the time to re-bond with your mate. As far as what you should do? This really is up to you. Do you want to continue living a lie and cheating on the man you married? I ask this because it sounds like you may have already checked out emotionally. You state not wanting to ruin your “great marriage” but how great is it if you are bored and wandering? I am certainly not suggesting you “go for it” with your boss and desert your vows. What I am saying is that there is a reason you are finding yourself pulled towards “the Man”. Figure out what it is beyond all the newness and shiny. See if it is possible to find that in your marriage. Maybe it is not possible but truly sifting through those options before jumping into something potentially devastating (both on your personal life as well as your professional) is crucial.

Lust & Happiness,
Dr. Miro

featured image credit: Amarand Agasi