Let Me Live MY Life! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]
Dear Dr. Miro,
I met this guy and five years later and we are going strong. I love him. He loves me. We want to be together always. That means live together. Because we are the same age, he can’t really support us because we are both in school. My family, on the other hand, wants to get rid of me as fast as they can, but not to him. They are waiting for someone to come along who they approve of, but I told them I don’t want to be with anyone else. How am I suppose to live my own life the way I want to if they don’t let me? I don’t know what to say, or do, so my family will back off and let me live my life.
In Love & Confused
This is a problem of youth as well as seemingly cultural differences. You are attempting to differentiate from your parents while at the same time being dependent upon them for economic support. It is unfortunate, but while you are under their roof, it is their rules. Like it or not you have to obey to a certain extent. This does NOT mean you need to accept being pawned off to the first or last gentleman whom your family approves. In this day and age, the burden of financial support no longer falls on just one person. Everyone has to pull his or her own weight.
I am proud of you for getting an education! However, while you are being taken care of by your family, you may need to set aside your desires to live with this object of your affection until you both can take care of your selves. Right now is an excellent time to figure out what you want your future to look like and go about taking the necessary steps to obtain your fantasy. Map out a feasible plan with your love and then take it to whichever parent you feel closest. Acknowledge your family’s need to have you be OK. Welcome it even! Then, calmly explain how you envision your life and how you are not trying to jump into things with out a thought. Things can get really heated when discussing important, life altering matters – this usually comes from a loving place, even if you cannot see that right now. Do not expect miracles but hopefully, when they witness you as a responsible adult and not a hot headed, impulsive child, they will back off a bit.
Lust & Happiness,
featured image credit: Thomas Hawk