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Love Me, Big Mamma! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

My wife is an overweight BBW (big beautiful woman). I’m talking at least 200lbs extra. That isn’t my problem – just more to love, right? I still want her in every way but her self-esteem about her body is so low that she refuses to let me touch her. I’m certainly no matchstick and she’s never been a small woman (I’ve ALWAYS loved that about her) but what can I do? I tell her all the time how sexy I think she is, that she’s not too fat for me and try to introduce playful “adult” activities but I keep getting shut down. I’m getting resentful that she won’t allow anything close to erotic to transpire between us PLUS I am tired of being rejected.

Tired of Being Shut Out By My Big Mama


It is not possible to force anyone to feel good about his or her self. That is something they must do on their own. It is not a pleasant situation to be with someone who thinks poorly of herself. Speak with her about your desire for all HER voluptuousness! Leave the “you’re not so fat” part out. If your wife is a plentiful woman, then she is. No reason to pretend otherwise. Verbally re-enforce your attraction to her Rubenesque loveliness while letting her know how torn up you are that she cannot see her own beauty. Perhaps the two of you could go on an exercise/diet program together not necessarily to get “thin” rather to simply start feeling good. Show her how dedicated you are through your ACTIONS, since words are simply not working. You will be heightening the endorphins folks need to feel good about themselves AND you will be doing it together. In the vein of exercise and closeness, I recommend looking into dance classes – try some sexy salsa moves! That way, there will be sanctified clothes-on touching, with plenty of pelvic gyrations. If your BBW keeps putting the kibosh on everything you suggest, look into couple’s counseling. Again, you cannot force anything and demanding she go with you probably will not work. Regardless, go see someone about YOUR building resentment before it gets too out of hand.

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

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