Man Hasn’t Seen Game Of Thrones: What An Asshole [Daily News Brief]

Los Angeles, CA – Thursday
By Joshua Mauldin

A white male in his early thirties, who calls himself a writer, admitted to friends earlier this week that he hasn’t seen one episode of HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones. Despite confessing he’s watched at least twenty episodes of Restaurant Impossible and Chopped on The Food Network this last year, the man still hasn’t found time to catch up on a television show that all research indicates should appeal to him. “I’m sure it’s awesome, honestly, but episodic television like that is addictive,” the man said responding in anonymity to the suggestion he watch the first two seasons to catch up. “If I watch one, I have to watch the second and the next thing I know I’m wallowing in twenty-four hours worth of Red Bull cans, Cheetos’ dust and chinese take-out boxes.”

Hadassah Bling, a marketing executive at HBO, says incidents like this are rare but not entirely without precedent. “Even though Game of Thrones is tailor made for him, he isn’t required to watch it. Not every progressive lesbian watches Rachel Maddow. Some people with an actual sense of humor occasionally tune in to Chelsea Lately. We did our job. We stuffed it full of sex, violence and freaking dragons, it’s not our fault he’s an asshole.”