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Marginally Overweight, Non-Caucasian Woman Murdered By Obsessive Boyfriend

West Memphis, AR
By Joshua Mauldin

A normal 26-year-old, non-white human female who worked ten hours a day to support her daughter and felt too shy about her body to post pictures on social media was found strangled to death this morning at her residence. Police suspect her unemployed, alcoholic boyfriend of six months who friends say routinely overreacted whenever she talked to male coworkers…wait, wait, wait, don’t stop reading. Forget I said that.

Phew, much better.

The Jodi Arias’ verdict is in and CNN’s got every lurid detail of this craaaaazy case: