Mathematician Cracks Flo Rida’s “Diabolically Clever” Name Puzzle [Daily News Brief]

Cambridge, MA – Friday
By Joshua Mauldin

James Exton, Professor of Theoretical Mathematics at MIT, announced this morning that he’s finally solved a puzzle that’s stumped mathematicians for years. “Flo Rida [the stage moniker of Tramar Lacel Dillard - pictured here shirtless while crushing an orange for some reason] is a diabolically clever ruse but I’m pretty sure I figured it out.” Exton says the notations are complicated and outside the understanding of not just laypersons but many professionals who work in his field. “Suffice it to say, the answer is important.” Important is an understatement. According to Exton, the letters F L O R I D A are actually mathematical symbols that correspond perfectly to an experimental theory detailing the complex framework of quantum mechanics. “To be blunt, Flo Rida is a map back to the Big Bang.”

Given this revelation, a representative from Flo Rida’s Florida-based record label operating out of Florida released this statement from the state of Florida: “Mr. Rida was expecting to divulge this secret on his death bed, but the cat’s out of the bag. He would like to congratulate Professor Exton for his keen observation and impressive calculations. Well played, but this is just the beginning.”