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Musings on Amusing: Why I Might Be Wearing A Costume Next Thursday
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A blogumn by Jessica Glassberg
Halloween pressure.
Halloween is the time of year when everyone dons his or her scariest, sexiest and funniest.
As a comic, the expectation to bring the funny or pun-y, as is often the case, is pretty high. I received over half a dozen emails asking what I was going to be… some even saying they were excited to hear because “I’m always so creative…”
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF PRESSURE THAT IS ?!?!?!
Some years have been better than others…
My old corseted princess-style prom dress came in handy a few times…
Wore a comedy/tragedy sign on a crown, smeared my eye make-up and pinned a slew of Broadway Playbill covers to the dress… I was a drama queen.
More Costumes after the jump:
Then, another year, still happy to fit into the aforementioned dress, I wore a ginormous Jewish star crown, pinned pictures of Americana (from apple pie and a baseball to pictures of Springsteen and Pam Anderson & Tommy Lee) and went as a Jewish American Princess.
When my boyfriend Derek and I joined forces for the first time a few years ago… I taped giant foam lawn dominos to my person and he adorned himself with “Hello my name is Derek” stickers (his back was covered) and we were DEREK & THE DOMINOS. This would have been a more clever choice had it been 1970 when their hit Layla hit the air waves…most people just didn’t get it.
Needing some redemption, we dressed as: “Jack & Jill…after the fall”… we were a hit, won a costume contest and everything. We got some thrift store overalls, white t-shirts and rolled them around in the mud and grass. Put some fake scars, blood and more mud on our bodies… messed up our hair, Derek wore a broken crown… and of course we had distressed Jack and Jill pails. (made a great purse)…we were comfy (smelled like dirt) and had fun.
This year… we had to attempt to top ourselves…
Our idea?
Sherlock Holmes and Katie Holmes.
Derek would be straight Sherlock with the hat, the pipe and the cape-y-do. I’d wear a black dress, big sunglasses, pin my hair back, hold a copy of Dianetics and a stuffed alien…my baby Suri.
Who would have thought that the market for Sherlock Holmes apparel would sky rocket this year? Perhaps it was the announcement of the Guy Ritchie directed Robert Downey Jr. vehicle…. But a Sherlock hat could not be found ‘round the city of angles.
What to do? What to do? The pressure was great… What could we do? Who could we be that wouldn’t require a lot of work…
We searched our closets…
Pull out the prom dress? I could wear a sash and be Sarah Palin – the beauty pageant years and Derek could sport a goatee, wear a flannel shirt and his Canada hat (but write in “near” Canada) and be Todd?
Could be a good timely idea… alas the prom dress did not zipper… and inappropriately slutty Palin just seemed awkward and uncomfortable for everyone.
Saddened by the additional layers of Jessica that I have acquired through the years, but not giving up…
We investigated the internet…
Rocky…that could be easy – gray sweats and a red sweatband. Adrian? Sadly, I don’t have a red beret hanging around nor did I know of a specific location to acquire a cheap one that I would be comfortable to place on my head without the fear of a widespread lice infestation. I’m all about making new friends… but really.
But Derek did have an Indiana Jones-like hat, I had a tie, a pair of khakis and I’d be… Annie Hall of course!
So… we were the namesakes of two back-to-back academy award winning movies of the 70s… totally planned!
Not our highest point…. But at least people knew who we were.
I’ve gotta start mapping out a plan for next year. Or maybe just make more “dress-up” holidays throughout the year to minimize the pressure… Thanksgiving I think I’d make quite a sexy giant turkey, no? Or perhaps an oversized gelatinous tube of cranberry goop. Hmm I might look like “Carrie” after the crazy… Chanukah – Santa Schwartz… like Santa Claus but more neurotic and self-loathing. I think I’m onto something.
I love the "Jack & Jill, After the Fall" costumes – that is hilarious. Too bad you couldn't find a red beret, you could have totally pulled of Adrian.
But the Annie Hall costume is funny, too – you could have dressed Derek in glasses, a pullover sweater and mussed up his hair and he could have been your Woody Allen. Then all you need is a friend or two to fill out his coterie (a Mia Farrow and Soon-Yi Previn to accompany you both would have been priceless.)
I love the "Jack & Jill, After the Fall" costumes – that is hilarious. Too bad you couldn't find a red beret, you could have totally pulled of Adrian.
But the Annie Hall costume is funny, too – you could have dressed Derek in glasses, a pullover sweater and mussed up his hair and he could have been your Woody Allen. Then all you need is a friend or two to fill out his coterie (a Mia Farrow and Soon-Yi Previn to accompany you both would have been priceless.)
I also loved Jack & Jill, After the Fall and agree with the complete shadiness of thrift store berets.
You're lucky that you have someone to plot costumes with. I think I dressed up for CH once. Then I killed every other joint Halloween costume idea with general apathy. I'm like the (much more passive) Scrooge of Halloween. And please, please, please take a picture for Fierce and Nerdy if you go through with the turkey idea.
I also loved Jack & Jill, After the Fall and agree with the complete shadiness of thrift store berets.
You're lucky that you have someone to plot costumes with. I think I dressed up for CH once. Then I killed every other joint Halloween costume idea with general apathy. I'm like the (much more passive) Scrooge of Halloween. And please, please, please take a picture for Fierce and Nerdy if you go through with the turkey idea.
Chuck – yeah, I've been called a young Talia Shire… ok, never. We thought about Woody Allen-ing Derek up – but I think part of the comedy is how short Woody is… and I love Derek's height, but for that duo… don't think it would have work. Just ME playing a WASP was a stretch enough ;)
Ernessa – I know many Scrooges of Halloween and the costume 'plotting' as it were can be quite stressful and time consuming.
Chuck – yeah, I've been called a young Talia Shire… ok, never. We thought about Woody Allen-ing Derek up – but I think part of the comedy is how short Woody is… and I love Derek's height, but for that duo… don't think it would have work. Just ME playing a WASP was a stretch enough ;)
Ernessa – I know many Scrooges of Halloween and the costume 'plotting' as it were can be quite stressful and time consuming.
love the vest and tie…..my suggestion: seriously start planning right after Labor Day next year.
love the vest and tie…..my suggestion: seriously start planning right after Labor Day next year.
It was actually quite hard to get a cheap black vest… even got a christmas one as a back up to turn inside out if need be. The one I got was a men's XL… pinned in the back.
Definitely need some earlier planning…
It was actually quite hard to get a cheap black vest… even got a christmas one as a back up to turn inside out if need be. The one I got was a men's XL… pinned in the back.
Definitely need some earlier planning…
You guys look so cute as Rocky and Annie! I love it!
And for the record, I TOTALLY GET the Derek and the Dominoes reference.
You guys look so cute as Rocky and Annie! I love it!
And for the record, I TOTALLY GET the Derek and the Dominoes reference.
Thanks, Leyla… (appropriate that you would get the reference)
xo Ivy Lombardi!
Thanks, Leyla… (appropriate that you would get the reference)
xo Ivy Lombardi!
Hmm…thats funny….I always thought "broke his crown" meant that he split his head open. It never occurred to me that he was WEARING a crown. Maybe I was reading one of those dark children's books from the olden days….
Hmm…thats funny….I always thought "broke his crown" meant that he split his head open. It never occurred to me that he was WEARING a crown. Maybe I was reading one of those dark children's books from the olden days….
I can totally picture it being splitting his head… and we had the fake blood up there to cover that interpretation and the Burger King crown to cover the literal :) I always liked the darker stories growing up.
I can totally picture it being splitting his head… and we had the fake blood up there to cover that interpretation and the Burger King crown to cover the literal :) I always liked the darker stories growing up.
Well – I'm sure you would have portrayed a fabulous victim… but seeing you as a human twister board was amazing…. and I really do think you should try the dress out and about for fun :)
Well – I'm sure you would have portrayed a fabulous victim… but seeing you as a human twister board was amazing…. and I really do think you should try the dress out and about for fun :)
Love all the costumes and only wish I could've seen all of them in person. I had thought of dressing like one of the victims to go along with Christopher's Jack the Ripper, but he vetoed the idea. Darn him!
Love all the costumes and only wish I could've seen all of them in person. I had thought of dressing like one of the victims to go along with Christopher's Jack the Ripper, but he vetoed the idea. Darn him!