Musings on the Amusing: Something Old, Something New… How to Plan A Wedding… I Have No Clue!!!
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a blogumn by Jessica Glassberg
Many girls know by the age of nine how they want their dream wedding to look and feel…,
What style dress they will wear, how they want their hair to look, the types of flowers they will hold, and how many bridesmaids will be by their side.
I AM NOT ONE OF THESE WOMEN!
I have been engaged since the end of December, and find myself more and more lost by words like overlay, ceiling drapes, rental delivery fee, and the various definitions of soft bar service… none of which include the addition of cushions, pillows or feathers…. Soft bar… anyone? Anyone?
And the word fiancé makes me feel more pretentious than a person who complains about planning a wedding.
Oh… and who knew a cake needed a whole table? And that you may have to pay extra for it!
All I know is… who I’m going to marry and that it will be somewhere in southern California.
Every day I feel less and less effeminate and that at any minute the wedding police are going to come and confiscate my engagement ring, shake their judgmental heads and tell me I’m just not ready.
“WHERE ARE YOU REGISTERED?”
My family wants to know when I’m registering. Yes, I think it’s wonderful that they’re so excited to buy me stuff… “It’ll be so much fun to shoot the registry gun.” How do I register for things when I don’t know how much room I’ll have for said items? I’m still accustomed to using red plastic beer-pong cups… now I’m supposed to pick out china? How can I select a knife set that will last a lifetime when I can’t even decide on a venue for one night?
“HAVE YOU SET A DATE ?!?!?!?!”
Whenever I want to do some research on The Knot, Here Comes the Guide or Brides.com… they want to know when I’m getting married… I don’t know! I don’t want to pick a date until I pick a venue, but I can’t pick a venue until I visually picture what kind of wedding I want… but I can’t picture anything until I figure out my budget… and when I try to crunch the numbers, it seems like no venue will fit into the aforementioned crunched budget…
“YOU HAVEN’T FOUND A DRESS!!”
“You have to find the dress!” People get violent at the thought that I haven’t tried on dresses yet…
!!!HELP!!!
Do you know of any great, reasonably prices venues?
Great vendors?
Advice to save money?
Tips to not pull every last hair out of my head?!?!
I am overwhelmed! I plan on only doing this once… and I don’t want to royally F it up! I want it to be fun. I don’t want to feel like I’m throwing a boat load of money away, and I want to know a large majority of the people in attendance.
I am very excited to get married. And I feel guilty for even feeling stressed… which just stresses me out even more.
I feel so blessed that I have found someone to love and adore and who will do the same back… unconditionally… and that is what I try to focus when I want to run away and elope… but Grandma would turn the eloping vacation into a full fledged guilt trip. Each trip comes standard with the mention of not calling or eating enough… overlays, ceiling drapes and rental delivery fees are extra.
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Monique and I ran away and got married at a resort in Ocho Rios. We brought 6 people with us (immediate family) and the resort did all the work. They got flowers, a minister, a videographer, a photographer, music, and set up a reception with a cake and everything. Then we kicked the family out and stayed there for our honeymoon. When the rest of everyone complained they couldn't be there, we did a barbecue reception back home for people to come to.
Monique and I ran away and got married at a resort in Ocho Rios. We brought 6 people with us (immediate family) and the resort did all the work. They got flowers, a minister, a videographer, a photographer, music, and set up a reception with a cake and everything. Then we kicked the family out and stayed there for our honeymoon. When the rest of everyone complained they couldn't be there, we did a barbecue reception back home for people to come to.
That sounds perfect! But I know if we tried to just bring immediate family… it would turn into 20 people… then 40… then back to square one.
That sounds perfect! But I know if we tried to just bring immediate family… it would turn into 20 people… then 40… then back to square one.
Weird… I posted a comment and it didn't come up…
Anyway… that wedding sounds like a dream… I just know if we tried to keep to the immediate family… it would go from 6 people to 10 to 20 to a full on wedding… *sigh* I just wish I knew what I was doing.
Weird… I posted a comment and it didn't come up…
Anyway… that wedding sounds like a dream… I just know if we tried to keep to the immediate family… it would go from 6 people to 10 to 20 to a full on wedding… *sigh* I just wish I knew what I was doing.
Hey! I was TOTALLY stressed, because, like you, while excited to be marrying Mr. Awesome, the whole rigamarole gave me a migraine. Plus, giving sooo much money to the Wedding Machine made me a little ill.
Seen and I eventually did a planned elopement. We chose a date 2 weeks down the road and were lucky enough to hook up with the most awesome officiant/planner in the world (Elizabeth at MarriageToGo.com she's extraordinarily special and NOT in a fluffy, lets spend your life-savings kind of way.) We got married at sunset, on Zuma beach in mid-June with 6 close friends and had the reception later in my home-town. It was the BEST day of my life. I highly recommend contacting Elizabeth. She's got the scoop on a lot of venues and other stuff.
However you head down this planning road, good luck! Make sure you enjoy the process and the day.
Hey! I was TOTALLY stressed, because, like you, while excited to be marrying Mr. Awesome, the whole rigamarole gave me a migraine. Plus, giving sooo much money to the Wedding Machine made me a little ill.
Seen and I eventually did a planned elopement. We chose a date 2 weeks down the road and were lucky enough to hook up with the most awesome officiant/planner in the world (Elizabeth at MarriageToGo.com she's extraordinarily special and NOT in a fluffy, lets spend your life-savings kind of way.) We got married at sunset, on Zuma beach in mid-June with 6 close friends and had the reception later in my home-town. It was the BEST day of my life. I highly recommend contacting Elizabeth. She's got the scoop on a lot of venues and other stuff.
However you head down this planning road, good luck! Make sure you enjoy the process and the day.
Brian and Monique are my best friends, but when we tried to do what they did it got out of hand very fast, so we ended up just throwing a regular wedding anyway. Basically, you've got to invite your immediate family — but then people from your extended family start guilt tripping you big time, so you've got to invite them, too. But you've also got to invite your best friend, and s/he's married, so their spouses have to come, too… see what I mean?
Most of the people I know that have pulled off eloping have either been 1) young (like early-early 20s) or 2) from really small families or 3) from families that don't excel at guilt-trips. None of these situations fit our scenario, so biggish SoCal wedding, yes we did.
Yep… that's where I am… my family could be professional tour guides on guilt trips.
Brian and Monique are my best friends, but when we tried to do what they did it got out of hand very fast, so we ended up just throwing a regular wedding anyway. Basically, you've got to invite your immediate family — but then people from your extended family start guilt tripping you big time, so you've got to invite them, too. But you've also got to invite your best friend, and s/he's married, so their spouses have to come, too… see what I mean?
Most of the people I know that have pulled off eloping have either been 1) young (like early-early 20s) or 2) from really small families or 3) from families that don't excel at guilt-trips. None of these situations fit our scenario, so biggish SoCal wedding, yes we did.
Yep… that's where I am… my family could be professional tour guides on guilt trips.
Thanks Amy… I will defintiely see about contacting Elizabeth…
Thanks Amy… I will defintiely see about contacting Elizabeth…
That all said, we still came in at $6,000 over our original budget. Ugh! But keep in mind that you can have a creative registery. CH was in his late 30s when we got married and I didn't believe in posessions, so we did a charity registry, b/c we didn't feel like we needed more stuff in our already crowded digs. Also, a friend of ours did a honeymoon registry, which I thought was brilliant.
So remember that there's no one way to do a wedding. And I actually feel that having a budget allows you to get even more fun and creative with planning your wedding.
Thanks, Ernessa… I would love to do something outside, but I just have this weird feeling that it is going to rain that day… and tents can get expensive….
That's what was so great about Elysian Park — they actually had a building along with covered outside structure. If it had rained, we could have totally moved everything inside. As it was, we did our reception in the building and our ceremony outside. But if you wanted to get married in a temple or church, you could just head over to the lodge after. Most big L.A. parks seem to have some kind of lodge — that's what makes them such hidden gems for weddings.
Jessica, I was clueless about how to plan a wedding. I also have an extremely short attention span. But what you and I both have in common are friends who don't share those qualities. I basically crowd-sourced my wedding. Asked for advice when I got stuck on the details.
The most important bit is finding your venue. Once you have a venue, everything else falls into place. The Knot has a list that you can just check things off of — which is exactly what I did. We did ours at the Grace E. Simmons lodge in Elysian Park — fairly cheap and really pretty. But we actually found quite a few places in the Los Angeles Parks system that would've worked, and they totally don't advertise, b/c they're owned by the city. Also, we did ours on a Sunday of a holiday weekend, b/c you can get cheaper rates for Sundays. So definitely take some time to research your options.
Jessica, I was clueless about how to plan a wedding. I also have an extremely short attention span. But what you and I both have in common are friends who don't share those qualities. I basically crowd-sourced my wedding. Asked for advice when I got stuck on the details.
The most important bit is finding your venue. Once you have a venue, everything else falls into place. The Knot has a list that you can just check things off of — which is exactly what I did. We did ours at the Grace E. Simmons lodge in Elysian Park — fairly cheap and really pretty. But we actually found quite a few places in the Los Angeles Parks system that would've worked, and they totally don't advertise, b/c they're owned by the city. Also, we did ours on a Sunday of a holiday weekend, b/c you can get cheaper rates for Sundays. So definitely take some time to research your options.
That all said, we still came in at $6,000 over our original budget. Ugh! But keep in mind that you can have a creative registery. CH was in his late 30s when we got married and I didn't believe in posessions, so we did a charity registry, b/c we didn't feel like we needed more stuff in our already crowded digs. Also, a friend of ours did a honeymoon registry, which I thought was brilliant.
So remember that there's no one way to do a wedding. And I actually feel that having a budget allows you to get even more fun and creative with planning your wedding.
Thanks, Ernessa… I would love to do something outside, but I just have this weird feeling that it is going to rain that day… and tents can get expensive….
That's what was so great about Elysian Park — they actually had a building along with covered outside structure. If it had rained, we could have totally moved everything inside. As it was, we did our reception in the building and our ceremony outside. But if you wanted to get married in a temple or church, you could just head over to the lodge after. Most big L.A. parks seem to have some kind of lodge — that's what makes them such hidden gems for weddings.
Hey, Jess! I've never thrown a wedding or had a marriage (that I know of), so I don't know what advice to give other than STAY AWAY FROM MARTHA STEWART. While my hero, she is also secretly evil and most likely will add more stress to your life by insisting you pay attention to details that no cares about or even notices. Plus, she loves fondant. Evil!
Hey, Jess! I've never thrown a wedding or had a marriage (that I know of), so I don't know what advice to give other than STAY AWAY FROM MARTHA STEWART. While my hero, she is also secretly evil and most likely will add more stress to your life by insisting you pay attention to details that no cares about or even notices. Plus, she loves fondant. Evil!
Congrats, Jess! I to NEVER thought about my wedding before I was engaged. I had no clue what I wanted. The Knot was a big help, I scanned the Los Angeles message board on there for tips on vendors. Also, Projectwedding.com is a GREAT source for vendor reviews and photos.
It does help to have the venue picked first. Some places come with everything and other places have nothing. You have to supply tables, chairs…etc. I was married up in Santa Inez, so I don't know a ton about vendors in Los Angeles, but if you have any questions, just ask!
It is SO easy to get caught up in it all and keep adding elements, until it gets out of control! We were so happy with our wedding in the end, but it was more expensive than what we had planned.
Also, enjoy those free cake tastings and food tastings! We wish we had gone to more!
Thanks! I am still caught up in the vendor stuff. I've definitely looked on The Knot and will look at Project Wedding… I feel like there are some handshakes and passwords amongst brides to be and I haven't been privy to the sisterhood's secrets.
Congrats, Jess! I to NEVER thought about my wedding before I was engaged. I had no clue what I wanted. The Knot was a big help, I scanned the Los Angeles message board on there for tips on vendors. Also, Projectwedding.com is a GREAT source for vendor reviews and photos.
It does help to have the venue picked first. Some places come with everything and other places have nothing. You have to supply tables, chairs…etc. I was married up in Santa Inez, so I don't know a ton about vendors in Los Angeles, but if you have any questions, just ask!
It is SO easy to get caught up in it all and keep adding elements, until it gets out of control! We were so happy with our wedding in the end, but it was more expensive than what we had planned.
Also, enjoy those free cake tastings and food tastings! We wish we had gone to more!
Thanks! I am still caught up in the vendor stuff. I've definitely looked on The Knot and will look at Project Wedding… I feel like there are some handshakes and passwords amongst brides to be and I haven't been privy to the sisterhood's secrets.
I envision the wedding police dressed in white uniforms, and for handcuffs, they use floral, garter-belt-like straps to cart you away to Marriage Jail.
I envision the wedding police dressed in white uniforms, and for handcuffs, they use floral, garter-belt-like straps to cart you away to Marriage Jail.
Yes! I think I will stay away from Martha… she creeps me out!
Yes! I think I will stay away from Martha… she creeps me out!
I can totally envision that…and that cell is draped in tulle.
ewww, just say no to tulle.
Yes, brides online have their own language. Where else will you here the term STD and NOT think of venereal disease? (It stands for Save the Dates,by the way).
ewww, just say no to tulle.
Yes, brides online have their own language. Where else will you hear the term STD and NOT think of venereal disease? (It stands for Save the Dates,by the way).
I can totally envision that…and that cell is draped in tulle.
ewww, just say no to tulle.
Yes, brides online have their own language. Where else will you here the term STD and NOT think of venereal disease? (It stands for Save the Dates,by the way).
ewww, just say no to tulle.
Yes, brides online have their own language. Where else will you hear the term STD and NOT think of venereal disease? (It stands for Save the Dates,by the way).
Yeah – had no clue! It took me way longer than it should for CMU grad to figure out MOH stood for Maid of Honor.
Yeah – had no clue! It took me way longer than it should for CMU grad to figure out MOH stood for Maid of Honor.
wedding deals and bargains?? i have a million!!! 1) look at dresses on-line, then go try some on in a store, then go buy the dress you like ON -LINE for a lot less than in the store. yes, you pay postage, and yes you might have to have the dress altered, but you save a lot of green this way. i bought my dress for 500$, which is really cheap as these things go. 2) decide what you do NOT want to cut corners on, such as photography, video, food, or whatever is important to you. then you can think about the things that are not important, like goofy wedding favors, party decorations, and stuff like that. 3) i like outdoor weddings. you live in socal. plan the wedding for a weekend when it's not gonna rain, like in july or august. this should not be difficult, it being socal. i got married outdoors in arizona, where we had monsoon rains every single day, and the wedding was planned so that everyone was indoors at the party when the rain started.
wedding deals and bargains?? i have a million!!! 1) look at dresses on-line, then go try some on in a store, then go buy the dress you like ON -LINE for a lot less than in the store. yes, you pay postage, and yes you might have to have the dress altered, but you save a lot of green this way. i bought my dress for 500$, which is really cheap as these things go. 2) decide what you do NOT want to cut corners on, such as photography, video, food, or whatever is important to you. then you can think about the things that are not important, like goofy wedding favors, party decorations, and stuff like that. 3) i like outdoor weddings. you live in socal. plan the wedding for a weekend when it's not gonna rain, like in july or august. this should not be difficult, it being socal. i got married outdoors in arizona, where we had monsoon rains every single day, and the wedding was planned so that everyone was indoors at the party when the rain started.
I loved Elysian Park. It was such a pretty setting for your wedding! Los Angeles River Center is another gem, but it books up fairly quickly. If we had gotten married in LA, we would have probably done it there.
Why am I so scared of the outdoors?!?!
I loved Elysian Park. It was such a pretty setting for your wedding! Los Angeles River Center is another gem, but it books up fairly quickly. If we had gotten married in LA, we would have probably done it there.
Why am I so scared of the outdoors?!?!
I was engaged once upon a time. I have an events background, so you know I was prepared for a rockin' party. It was a darn shame I was dumped because it was going to be killer! Needless to say, that break-up was a bullet dodged…but that's another comment for another blog.
Anyway….The whole wedding industry is just that – an industry. Beware of crap you don't need and don't want. I've seen many a bride get caught up in the planning of the wedding and forget about the planning of the marriage. As long as you & your boo are happy with what you're doing, everyone else can suck it. They say it's "your day," so make it just that – yours…..!
We are happy… and do not want to get swept up in the planning of the wedding so much that we forget about the marriage. We both excited for whatever wedding we are able to plan, but are much more overjoyed to be married to each other and have a life together. We know that this is only one day that will start our lives together… and we are trying to keep that in perspective… hence why I need pointers and tips to not drive myself crazy :)
I was engaged once upon a time. I have an events background, so you know I was prepared for a rockin' party. It was a darn shame I was dumped because it was going to be killer! Needless to say, that break-up was a bullet dodged…but that's another comment for another blog.
Anyway….The whole wedding industry is just that – an industry. Beware of crap you don't need and don't want. I've seen many a bride get caught up in the planning of the wedding and forget about the planning of the marriage. As long as you & your boo are happy with what you're doing, everyone else can suck it. They say it's "your day," so make it just that – yours…..!
We are happy… and do not want to get swept up in the planning of the wedding so much that we forget about the marriage. We both excited for whatever wedding we are able to plan, but are much more overjoyed to be married to each other and have a life together. We know that this is only one day that will start our lives together… and we are trying to keep that in perspective… hence why I need pointers and tips to not drive myself crazy :)
Yes to deals and bargains! On-line dress… good tip :) And with an outdoor wedding – I am probably being over cautious, but I am so concerned about the rain (yes… even in socal)… I want to find a place that can move us indoors should a monsoon pour on my day :)
Yes to deals and bargains! On-line dress… good tip :) And with an outdoor wedding – I am probably being over cautious, but I am so concerned about the rain (yes… even in socal)… I want to find a place that can move us indoors should a monsoon pour on my day :)
oh, how embarrassing! i just realized that you don't have a clue who i am! hi there, total stranger! i'm an old college chum of CHs. that's my connection to the fierce n' nerdy world.
a few more ideas….we saved a ton doing our own invites. you can buy really nice blank cardstock and print it yourself. this also saves the hassle of dealing with printers (they always screw up, don't they?) you can also save a ton by doing only "necessary" flowers. especially if you do it outdoors, you don't need a lot of extra flowers lying about, dying. just spend for your bouquet, one for whomever is standing up for you (if a woman), and a few boutineers for the guys. you can do very classy, stylish and inexpensive flowers, esp if you buy them yourself at the flower market. (how fun….field trip!)
yes the flower mart is great, but if you don't want to do your own, get Eddie at City of Commerce Flowers. I have heard SO many good things about him. The flowers are supposed to be beautiful, plentiful and CHEAP! There are reviews on project wedding. Scoop him up! The problem is all the best and cheapest vendors go quickly! We started early.
Great advice re: invites and flowers… and I will investigate Eddie. I think once we nail down a venue we will figure out a date (we aren't SET on a date, so that's good-ish. If we're uber ambitious, we can try for this fall, if we want to figure things out a little more (though I am scared of prices going up) we can wait until next springs.
also….you don't need fancy shoes or underwear. unless you're a fancy-shoe kind of person, which i doubt. (not knowing you at all, of course!) besides, it's really hard to walk on the grass or gravel in high heels. and who cares what underwear you have under the dress….no need to go all-out on an ensemble. just wear whatever the dress requires. for example, i had a big skirt, so i did not need a thigh-shaper, which i might have worn with a tighter skirt, and the dress was strapless and corseted, so i didn't need a fancy brasierre. get me?
have i gone overboard? i'll shut up and sit in a corner now.
evi
No need to shut up and sit down in any corners at all :) I'm all about getting all suggestions/advice/tips, etc… and no, I'm not a fancy shoe person…just something that I can walk in… but doesn't make me feel too short :)
weee Let's go dress shopping!! Evi is right. Brides tend to go all out on the bustier, spanx, bra, shoes, stockings, garter and not much of it matters. Most dresses are boned, so anything extra just adds bulk (mine was not, so I did need a bustier). And no one ever sees the shoes! I have seen women change into converse that match their wedding colors for the reception:)
Yes… let's go shopping! I'm supposed to go with a friend of mine down in OC next week… but why not look up in LA too, right? Guide me… teach me… show me… haha….
oh, how embarrassing! i just realized that you don't have a clue who i am! hi there, total stranger! i'm an old college chum of CHs. that's my connection to the fierce n' nerdy world.
a few more ideas….we saved a ton doing our own invites. you can buy really nice blank cardstock and print it yourself. this also saves the hassle of dealing with printers (they always screw up, don't they?) you can also save a ton by doing only "necessary" flowers. especially if you do it outdoors, you don't need a lot of extra flowers lying about, dying. just spend for your bouquet, one for whomever is standing up for you (if a woman), and a few boutineers for the guys. you can do very classy, stylish and inexpensive flowers, esp if you buy them yourself at the flower market. (how fun….field trip!)
yes the flower mart is great, but if you don't want to do your own, get Eddie at City of Commerce Flowers. I have heard SO many good things about him. The flowers are supposed to be beautiful, plentiful and CHEAP! There are reviews on project wedding. Scoop him up! The problem is all the best and cheapest vendors go quickly! We started early.
Great advice re: invites and flowers… and I will investigate Eddie. I think once we nail down a venue we will figure out a date (we aren't SET on a date, so that's good-ish. If we're uber ambitious, we can try for this fall, if we want to figure things out a little more (though I am scared of prices going up) we can wait until next springs.
also….you don't need fancy shoes or underwear. unless you're a fancy-shoe kind of person, which i doubt. (not knowing you at all, of course!) besides, it's really hard to walk on the grass or gravel in high heels. and who cares what underwear you have under the dress….no need to go all-out on an ensemble. just wear whatever the dress requires. for example, i had a big skirt, so i did not need a thigh-shaper, which i might have worn with a tighter skirt, and the dress was strapless and corseted, so i didn't need a fancy brasierre. get me?
have i gone overboard? i'll shut up and sit in a corner now.
evi
No need to shut up and sit down in any corners at all :) I'm all about getting all suggestions/advice/tips, etc… and no, I'm not a fancy shoe person…just something that I can walk in… but doesn't make me feel too short :)
weee Let's go dress shopping!! Evi is right. Brides tend to go all out on the bustier, spanx, bra, shoes, stockings, garter and not much of it matters. Most dresses are boned, so anything extra just adds bulk (mine was not, so I did need a bustier). And no one ever sees the shoes! I have seen women change into converse that match their wedding colors for the reception:)
Yes… let's go shopping! I'm supposed to go with a friend of mine down in OC next week… but why not look up in LA too, right? Guide me… teach me… show me… haha….
yes!! I got my dress on Ebay! A $6000 l'huillier for $1500! There are good deals on samples and once worn dresses online. You can also buy a brand new dress online for a lot less than at the store. Also go to a private alteration specialist. It is much cheaper than using the store's seamstress.
yes!! I got my dress on Ebay! A $6000 l'huillier for $1500! There are good deals on samples and once worn dresses online. You can also buy a brand new dress online for a lot less than at the store. Also go to a private alteration specialist. It is much cheaper than using the store's seamstress.
Oh and nice to meet you Evi… I'm a CMU friend of Ernessa's… though I guess we didn't know each other until we were alumni and out in LA… strange how that works out :)
Oh and nice to meet you Evi… I'm a CMU friend of Ernessa's… though I guess we didn't know each other until we were alumni and out in LA… strange how that works out :)
I am going to investigate said hidden gems! Thank you!
I am going to investigate said hidden gems! Thank you!
then you've got the right attitude to make it, sister! yay!
Thanks… just hoping to make through this process ;)
then you've got the right attitude to make it, sister! yay!
Thanks… just hoping to make through this process ;)
i didn't have the option of the flower mart when i got married. (hear that in your great-aunt harriet's voice.) no, i got married in rural northern arizona, and really had to shop hard for stuff i needed. you're probably being overwhelmed by the wedding industry in la (my home town, btw).
if you have crafty friends or sewers, you could have one of them make your veil for you. they'd probably consider it a great honor, and it would save you a ton of cash. if you're even gonna wear a veil, that is. i went with a simple mantilla…..really just a light drape over my head, that fell to about mid-arm, with small pearls (beads, not real!) around the edge. very simple, very beautiful, very easy to wear, very cheap!!
and of course, you don't have to have a 'wedding" dress at all. you can wear any dress that makes you feel beautiful. and save a fortune simply by never using the word "wedding" to describe the dress at all!
nice to meet you, too, jessica. hope i'm nerdy enough to lend some assistance. i'm pretty freakin' nerdy!
I'm sure you are nerdy enough… and I mean that in the best possible way :)
I have no idea if I'm going to wear of veil or not… not quite at that stage yet… but any and all advice is welcome for later down the line :)
i didn't have the option of the flower mart when i got married. (hear that in your great-aunt harriet's voice.) no, i got married in rural northern arizona, and really had to shop hard for stuff i needed. you're probably being overwhelmed by the wedding industry in la (my home town, btw).
if you have crafty friends or sewers, you could have one of them make your veil for you. they'd probably consider it a great honor, and it would save you a ton of cash. if you're even gonna wear a veil, that is. i went with a simple mantilla…..really just a light drape over my head, that fell to about mid-arm, with small pearls (beads, not real!) around the edge. very simple, very beautiful, very easy to wear, very cheap!!
and of course, you don't have to have a 'wedding" dress at all. you can wear any dress that makes you feel beautiful. and save a fortune simply by never using the word "wedding" to describe the dress at all!
nice to meet you, too, jessica. hope i'm nerdy enough to lend some assistance. i'm pretty freakin' nerdy!
I'm sure you are nerdy enough… and I mean that in the best possible way :)
I have no idea if I'm going to wear of veil or not… not quite at that stage yet… but any and all advice is welcome for later down the line :)