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My Boyfriend of Ten Years Says He Might Not Love Me Anymore [Ask Dr. Miro]

Dear Dr. Miro,

My boyfriend says he’s not sure if he loves me anymore. We’ve been together for over10 years so I can understand how people can lose that hyper passion in-love feeling but to not love me at all? What do I do with that? It’s not like we need to stay together for the kids or even cats since we don’t have any pets (we share only a Ficus tree), but is there a possibility that he does still love me and just doesn’t realize it?


Hoping For Love

Dear HFL,

So your beau is not sure of his love for you. Ask him what he is sure of. That will tell you a lot. Is it possible Boyfriend is having his own personality life crisis and cannot figure out up from down? If this is the case, you will need to take an honest assessment of how willing you are to put things on hold until Mr. Confusion figures out where he is. This is an extremely painful place to be. Try not to allow his flighty comments to affect your sense of self.

In truth, it sounds like Man-Child simply does not hold those love feelings anymore. This happens. Be honest: are you willing to be with someone who no longer loves you? You know you deserve to be in a relationship in which the feelings are mutual. Yes, things are often uneven in some way or manner but usually in workable ways. Of course it is nearly impossible to maintain that passionate fascination with your partner over the long term, but to not be sure about simply loving and caring about you?! Those are unacceptable words to have come out of your mate’s mouth – unless of course you are in the middle of a break up and the guy is attempting cruelty. His vocalization of this loss of sentiment probably means that he has been thinking about it for a while. Love is a funny thing in that: You. Just. Know. It is possible he may love you and is unable to access those emotions at this juncture. It is more likely that he, like the 10 CC song, is not in love.

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

featured image credit: Gabriela Camerotti