Nerd Date: Geek Love On A Budget
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a blogumn by Clark Perry
Dating can be wonderful, amazing, and life-changing. Dating can also be pretty darned expensive.
As someone who just got their pink slip, I’ve been asking friends for tips on dating in these recessionary times. Here’s a rundown of the some of the best advice they gave me.
An Evening at Home:
Sounds lame, right? We do this all the time so it’s easy to disregard what makes a night like this special. Staying home is our usual fallback position. This is what you do when you don’t wanna do anything special. Everybody needs to just chill in their crib every now and then.
That’s why a special evening requires you to make your home an event, a destination. Clean up, add some flowers, set the mood with candles and music, and dress the part. No jeans or sweats — save that for the next day.
The meal will likely be the centerpiece of the evening. Cooking is one of the most romantic things you can do for a date (provided you do it at least adequately). Nothing shows affection like a home-cooked meal. My evenings almost always start with a little garlic simmering in olive oil, maybe followed by some chopped onion or minced fresh ginger. From there, I can easily steer the meal towards a curry, some pasta sauce, or even a tasty bruschetta topping.
Don’t like to cook? Then choose something easy that can be prepped ahead of time. Marinate some chicken in lemon juice, garlic and pepper. Throw this into a skillet or onto a grill and serve with a side salad and bread. Total cooking time: 15 minutes. Pasta is also easy and quick to make, and can often be as elegant as anything you order in a restaurant. If you’re completely useless in the kitchen, buy a good pizza crust (even Boboli will do) and you and your date can have fun dressing it up with your favorite toppings.
Afterwards, relax with a good movie. I prefer old Hollywood classics because something about black-and-white film sparks the romantic in me. Casablanca is a great date movie, filled with intrigue and romance and one of the most iconic screen couples of all time, Bogie and Bergman. Film noir is also a great genre choice, especially if it’s raining outside. Need something to lift your spirits? Pick a new rom-com or a classic chuckler. For my money, you can never go wrong with the hilarious films of Preston Sturges, especially Sullivan’s Travels.
If it’s the sort of date that’s gonna last all weekend … congratulations! Drink lots of water. For extended viewing pleasure, I’d recommend a binge involving a gripping TV show on DVD like Damages.
There are many ways to be intimate at home besides the obvious one.
It may be a good time to look through pictures of your last adventure together, whether it was a weekend at the beach or just goofing around in the mall photo booth. Framing one of those pictures makes for a great memento of the evening, as well.
And music doesn’t have to be in the background. Ever have an album party with someone? You each bring an album that means the world to you (I’d have a hard time choosing between The Beatles’ Revolver and Joe Jackson’s Look Sharp) and give it a listen in its entirety. Provide a commentary if you want — what you like, what this or that lyric means — or just let the music speak for itself.
In short, it doesn’t matter if your date involves a prime seat at a fancy restaurant or eating take-out Chinese on your couch at home. It’s the connection with your mate that matters. And if you work it right, there’s nothing more intimate or uninhibited than being in the comfort and safety of your own crib.
Mo’ Free Stuff:
What else can you do to have a great date on a budget? It’s a long list but here are some highlights.
Free stuff: Too often we blindly follow the mass delusion that anything good must cost money. Not so! From film screenings to art gallery openings, there are many cultural events out there that won’t cost you a dime. Rent a movie for free from your library for the above evening at home. Thrifty theater-lovers can often find “pay what you can” performances of shows. These might not fall on weekend nights, but the thrifty dater knows to be flexible.
Get outdoors: Spending time in nature makes for a great date. You’re being physically active, seeing the splendor of the world, and it’s the opportunity for great conversation. Hit the beach, take a hike, or throw that bike in the car and just go.
Everyone I talked to was endlessly innovative when it comes to dating on the cheap. I know this column doesn’t even scratch the surface. What are some of your tips for dating on a budget? Please sound off below and let us know.
Art galleries are always great — and if it's early in the relationship, you can learn a lot about someone by their taste in art. I always loved going to the Getty on dates.
I agree with Debra. Cali has so much free art, it’s awesome. The Hammer and the Pacific Design Center are both free. I also like picnics and $5 Community yoga — if you’re going to be broke, might as well get zen. The main character of Molly Ringwald Ending insists on free dates, and she comes up with ideas like creating your own dance club and learning to draw together. I also like the idea of exchanging your favorite books and reading it in each other’s company. On our honeymoon, CH and I spent a couple of days reading books together by the pool and drinking lava flows all day. It was hands down my favorite memory from our honeymoon. Plus, this could easily be done with a drink mix at home sans pool.
Art galleries are always great — and if it's early in the relationship, you can learn a lot about someone by their taste in art. I always loved going to the Getty on dates.
I agree with Debra. Cali has so much free art, it’s awesome. The Hammer and the Pacific Design Center are both free. I also like picnics and $5 Community yoga — if you’re going to be broke, might as well get zen. The main character of Molly Ringwald Ending insists on free dates, and she comes up with ideas like creating your own dance club and learning to draw together. I also like the idea of exchanging your favorite books and reading it in each other’s company. On our honeymoon, CH and I spent a couple of days reading books together by the pool and drinking lava flows all day. It was hands down my favorite memory from our honeymoon. Plus, this could easily be done with a drink mix at home sans pool.
Good ideas! I love take-out and a movie at home. Those are my favorite dates.You can also sign up for free movie screenings at below the line screenings (btlnews.com) if you are in an entertainment union or guild.
CH and I went to a ton of these during the writer's strike, totally get on the list if you can.
Good ideas! I love take-out and a movie at home. Those are my favorite dates.You can also sign up for free movie screenings at below the line screenings (btlnews.com) if you are in an entertainment union or guild.
CH and I went to a ton of these during the writer's strike, totally get on the list if you can.
How about a trip to the library? You could each choose DVD's to watch…choose books to share or attend a program.
How about a trip to the library? You could each choose DVD's to watch…choose books to share or attend a program.
Clark, you are the cutest! I love this article – it's full of so many great ideas!
Clark, you are the cutest! I love this article – it's full of so many great ideas!
First dates should be a cup of coffee (or tea) and no more than an hour long – that's my rule. If there's a genuine connection, take a stroll to Barnes & Noble and browse the books or Virgin Megastore and browse the CD's & DVD's. Contrary to popular belief, I find movie dates the worst – you sit in the dark for 2 hours with a person without interacting with them, then you part company – entirely pointless & something you could have done alone. Exception to this rule is if you're home together watching a DVD, that way you can comment & connect with each other while watching. Another great free date is dog-walking – if your date has a dog, take them for a romp in Runyon Canyon – you get to see how your date interacts (and you get precious "kiss-up" time with an animal who means a lot to your date.)
First dates should be a cup of coffee (or tea) and no more than an hour long – that's my rule. If there's a genuine connection, take a stroll to Barnes & Noble and browse the books or Virgin Megastore and browse the CD's & DVD's. Contrary to popular belief, I find movie dates the worst – you sit in the dark for 2 hours with a person without interacting with them, then you part company – entirely pointless & something you could have done alone. Exception to this rule is if you're home together watching a DVD, that way you can comment & connect with each other while watching. Another great free date is dog-walking – if your date has a dog, take them for a romp in Runyon Canyon – you get to see how your date interacts (and you get precious "kiss-up" time with an animal who means a lot to your date.)
dog park date rules! even if you don't have a dog (but like them) you will certainly be entertained. i also love going to the local farmer's markets. i can only go out to dinner so many times….really….
dog park date rules! even if you don't have a dog (but like them) you will certainly be entertained. i also love going to the local farmer's markets. i can only go out to dinner so many times….really….
i use to go listen to the l.a. philharmonic at the hollywood bowl almost every week. it was $2.50 for the park-n-ride that dropped you off at the top of the hill; and $1.00 for the ticket. you can bring your own food and drink for a nice night of live classical music under the stars. very cheap and very romantic.
for art lovers most museums offer a free admissions day at least once a month.
you could go garage-sale hunting to see what treasures you can discover together.
go for walks together in old districts taking digital photos of interesting buildings. then discus the shots over coffee.
i could go on and on. there are so many things you could do for virtually no money, because it’s more about the “time” you’re giving that person.
and on a side note i have to disagree about the movie theater date. if you’re not concerned about the money, a movie date is great when you give time afterwards to sit around and discus what you just saw.
i use to go listen to the l.a. philharmonic at the hollywood bowl almost every week. it was $2.50 for the park-n-ride that dropped you off at the top of the hill; and $1.00 for the ticket. you can bring your own food and drink for a nice night of live classical music under the stars. very cheap and very romantic.
for art lovers most museums offer a free admissions day at least once a month.
you could go garage-sale hunting to see what treasures you can discover together.
go for walks together in old districts taking digital photos of interesting buildings. then discus the shots over coffee.
i could go on and on. there are so many things you could do for virtually no money, because it’s more about the “time” you’re giving that person.
and on a side note i have to disagree about the movie theater date. if you’re not concerned about the money, a movie date is great when you give time afterwards to sit around and discus what you just saw.