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Nesting Again [Newly Nested]
This is my last post until after the baby is born. I can’t believe that in a few weeks (or maybe even days!) that I’ll have a little girl to look after for the rest of my life. I honestly thought I was done being newly nested and that it was time to think of a new title for my blog.
In the past every time I thought I was done being newly nested I was wrong. First, I got married, but when we hit our one year anniversary I thought the idea of being new at it was over. Then we bought a house, which was a whole new nesting phase. Soon I found out that unless you are rich, nesting never stops in a house because there is always a new project to do. Now, settled in my home for almost two years I thought, what else is there to be newly nesting about? I didn’t even consider having a baby as a whole new form of nesting, but it is.
I always just thought a baby would fit into my life, not that I would fit into a baby’s life. While to some degree we plan on holding onto who we are, fitting a baby into your own life just seems silly when you start realizing how much everything is about to change. There are too many choices and things that you are supposed to consider to care for the baby. If you are like me, and you are excited to have a child in your life, than there is even more philosophical issues with having a child that will start driving you crazy. In the last few months I have not only been obsessed with nesting (preparing my home for the baby with projects that I feel MUST be done), I am also rethinking the example I will be setting for my little girl.
In the past eating a piece a cake, having a soda, being a procrastinator all seemed okay and acceptable indulgences. Who really cares? Now I see that if I don’t want her to drink soda then I can’t. I just don’t believe that saying “I’m an adult and you aren’t” is an acceptable or a realistic way to deal with these things. Of course, maybe I’ll just stop caring about the small issues and see how my child blossoms into adulthood without worrying about the things I am doing to get her there. I don’t know. I just know that my habits and my nest is all going to look a little different after this baby is born.
I know a lot of you are mothers out there and I would love some of your advice on nesting with my newborn. Please share. Thank you all for reading Newly Nested over the last couple of years.
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featured image credit: Sarodeo
There is no way to prepare. You are just along for the ride. If your experience is like mine, for the first few months, life is free form. There is no rhyme or reason or structure in the whims of a newborn. Eventually you reach a new normal and forget how it even was before. I say all this in light of my baby’s upcoming 18th birthday this March. And, I wouldn’t change a crazy, chaotic, sleepless, unshowered moment of any of it.
My advice is not to beat yourself up too much, just adjust, adjust, adjust … then adjust some more. Every person is different. Some moms really can’t stay at home and also stay sane, some moms lose motivation for their careers after baby, and some moms find a happy medium. Be okay with whatever type of mom you are, and try to find a situation where both you and your little girl are thriving. At the end of the day, your home will run more smoothly if you’re happy, and if it’s 24/7 sacrifice on your part all the time, then no one will be happy. But yeah, definitely give up the soda. Whatever good habits you’ve been wanting to form, use the baby as an excuse to embrace them.