New Morrissey Single “Swift Getaway” To Chronicle Break-Up With Taylor Swift [Daily News Brief]

London, UK – Monday
By Joshua Mauldin

Morrissey’s new song won’t drop until the summer, but the former frontman of The Smiths isn’t waiting until then to open up about his whirlwind relationship with country superstar Taylor Swift. “She did to my emotions what Margaret Thatcher did to the Falklands,” lamented the 53-year-old crooner. “My mates told me to keep my guard around her but a bloke’s heart wants what it wants.”

The two met at a charity event for homeless kittens and instantly hit it off. Things progressed naturally for two months until Morrissey bought a house in Nashville to be closer to her; a gesture Swift didn’t appreciate much. “She told me we were moving too fast. Being around me was brilliant and all but she wasn’t ready for a serious commitment. I hope a doubledecker bus crashes into her.”

Reached for comment, Swift shrugged and rolled her eyes, “Steven puts ridiculous expectations on his lovers to push them away so he can use the fake heartbreak to fuel his material. That crap plays well to his fans, I guess, but everyone else thinks it’s obnoxious. Good riddance.”

Image Credit: The Telegraph