NewlyNested: One More Defense of Valentine’s Day
I realize that this is coming to you the day after Valentine’s Day, but after having so many people tell me that they don’t celebrate a “Hallmark” holiday, I feel like I must defend V-day and tell you why there is nothing wrong with some Hallmark-inspired romance.
First, I should tell you that I am a sucker. In fact, I am a salesman’s dream. Therefore I get suckered into the holiday spirit easily (I have very similar feelings about Christmas as I do Valentine’s Day). Specifically with Valentine’s Day, I love the idea of thinking that everyone in the world is expressing love for each other. I am sentimental that way. As a creative writer the Rabbi that married my husband and I seemed to almost expect us to recite a poem, write our own vows, do something of self-expression; but we didn’t. Instead we recited the same vows that have been a part of the Jewish tradition, finding meaning in the fact that so many before us have showed their love in the same way.
How often do you see grand gestures of love anymore? These days we are usually caught up in our routine and I know when I go out with my husband our meal usually ends with us looking something up on our smart phones. Valentine’s Day is a chance to slow down and really soak up the company of your loved one.
I’ve heard the argument that some people feel they express their love when they want to and that they don’t deny their significant other that expression. I express my love to my husband. We say I love you all the time to each other. Sometimes we buy each other token gifts or thoughtful purchases, and we share nice meals out. But often we don’t spend our whole day doing this and that is what I find so beautiful about a whole day devoted to love.
My Valentine’s Day doesn’t look like the Hallmark version. We don’t buy cards, expensive gifts, or have expensive four course pre-fixe meals. We usually buy small gifts for each other. Alan bought me pilates socks and I got him a picture of a lion. We both loved them. We had a quiet steak dinner at home. Then there are the small things we do for each other that I won’t share with you. Hopefully I’ve converted you for next year, but maybe on this 15th you’ll get into the spirit of things and shower the one you care for with LOVE.