Oh, It’s Tuesday: How Did I Manage This Last Time? [IVF Part Deux]
So, I guess I’ll do my promised Mexican cruise article tomorrow, since as often happens with IVF, my period came and now my life is fully rotating around my ovulation cycle. It’s kind of like being in a two-week long episode of Private Practice, in which every test and exam has to happen NOW! NOW! NOW! as opposed to later when you have a nice hour or so block available.
When I underwent IVF the first time, this wasn’t a problem, because at that point, CH and I had been trying to get pregnant for over a year-and-a-half. We were already well-used to not ever making firm morning plans, and dropping everything at a moment’s notice when I got the little happy face on my ovulation-testing stick. I had even developed systems (yes, systems!) for managing appointments and getting done everything I need to get done at my then-job.
This time around, though, I’ve been constantly running after the dropped ball. I started unexpectedly spotting on Sunday, and I was surprised when CH asked me (as he never does unless we’re trying to conceive a baby w/ science) if I had started my period — he must have seen the newly-opened tampon box next to the toilet.
I answered that I hadn’t expected it until Monday, but yes, it had just started. And he asked what we were supposed to do next. Now I know that having Baby #2 is important, but along with all the other stuff I have to keep straight including my writing schedule, day-to-day life, new business, and oh yeah, Baby #1, I have to admit that my answer was vague. Something along the lines of, “Dr. Koopersmith told me, but I’m having a little trouble remembering… Um, I think I start peeing on the ovulation stick on Day 5, which should be um … Thursday, then we’ll see.”
CH isn’t a fan of vague answers. He pressed, “So when do we actually go in for the transfer? Do we have a 48 hour window?”
Me: I don’t think so. I think we have to go in as soon as I get the happy face.
CH: Do they unfreeze the egg as soon as they hear from us? How long does it take them to prepare? Do we have to rush into Beverly Hills as soon as it happens? (We’re not fancy folks but one of the biggest facilities for IVF transfers is in BH, so that’s where we have to go when it’s time to transfer the embryo NOW! NOW! NOW!)
Me: I’m not sure … I think so.
CH: (not unkindly) Maybe you should call Dr. Koopersmith’s office first thing tomorrow just to make sure.
So I called on Monday “just to make sure” and was informed that now that I had gotten my period that I had to rush in for an exam the very next day. To my surprise (though apparently I had already been told this once already) Private Practice was on like Tron.
“Oh,” I said, scrambling to catch up and looking at my Tuesday calendar which was crammed with back-to-back activities, including an interview for 32 CANDLES. After what seemed like CEO-level negotiations (which included having to finagle around my MIL’s dermatology appointment, so that she could babysit) we finally settled on a time for me to come in, and I was also informed that CH had to come in himself ASAP to sign the paperwork to okay the transfer.
Well, the only one in our family as busy as me is CH, so I asked if he could fax in the release.
“No, there’s a new rule at [the place in Beverly Hills]. He has to sign the release in front of us.”
I wondered out loud what had happened between now and my first transfer at the Beverly Hills clinic that had necessitated this new rule. “Something really bad,” the front-desk guessed.
After hanging up, I immediately set to worrying that I’d have to do the transfer and go on bedrest for 48 hours at an inconvenient time, like before my scheduled lunch with a much-admired fellow LA writer, or before next Friday’s Writing Pad panel, or even worse on my birthday — the only day of the year that I get to spend mostly inside a movie theater watching whatever movies I want. I made a note in the back of my head not to schedule anything else important until like February — maybe even March.
I hoped to God, that despite my bumbling and general level of too busy-ness that this transfer works the first time. If it doesn’t, I’ll have to go back on fertility drugs for the second try and I can’t even imagine figuring out how to keep those straight again on top of writing, wifeing, and mothering.
I spent the rest of my Monday shaking my head and wondering, “How did I manage this last time?”
But most of all, I reminded myself over and over again, “You have to ask the place in Beverly Hills why they made that new rule.”
I bet that’s some story…
I did not do IVF but I found that the whole pregnancy was much more complicated the second time around particularly because we had a 2 1/2 year old that we were dealing with. So good luck! And please do ask what happened, I am dying to know.
Yes, I’m going to blame Betty b/c when I got to the doctor’s office today, I found out that I was TOTALLY wrong about how this second transfer would go down. So glad that CH made me call, or I would have completely missed my window, messing around with my faulty memory. After my ultrasound read normal, they gave me a calendar with everything that would be happening over the next three weeks, set out in real clear language. And see my answer to Jenny, but basically it all comes down to if you’re trying get a frozen embryo transfer w/o your husband’s/donor’s permission, Dr. Koopersmith is not the one to get played.
CH isn’t a fan of vague answers.
JP is the same. and I am not a fan of straight forward answers…this gets us into trouble a great deal. Or we end up having a 20 minute conversation that could have taken 5 minutes, with each of us pretty much saying the same thing over and over again but in a different way until he’s satisfied with the outcome.
And good luck this week! Keeping my fingers crossed for you two!
Additionally…this clinic wouldn’t happen to be the same one that took care of the octo-mom? That would make sense for the whole transfer signing!
No, it’s a different one. Not the kind of place that sanctions sketchy 6-embryo transfers at all. But I asked the doctor today, and she said that’s been the policy w/ frozen embryos for a while now, b/c folks can get crazy when their marriage/relationship is falling apart and embryos are in play. Apparently they’ve had women try to pull all sorts of stuff. Suleman is a little extraordinary in that she actually got away with it. Again, I am soooo curious about her fertility doctor.
Oh but haven’t you heard? She transferred 12 embryos, not the 6 she originally claimed!
My IVFs never yielded any embryos to freeze so I’ve never done a FET, but they do seem to be much less intense than a full cycle, both in terms of time and impact on your body. Of course now you have a toddler thrown into the mix, so nothing is simple.
Good luck!!!
Oh but haven’t you heard? She transferred 12 embryos, not the 6 she originally claimed!
My IVFs never yielded any embryos to freeze so I’ve never done a FET, but they do seem to be much less intense than a full cycle, both in terms of time and impact on your body. Of course now you have a toddler thrown into the mix, so nothing is simple.
Good luck!!!
Are you kidding? Please tell me you’re kidding, and she did not transfer 12 embryos. You’re just trying to make my head explode, right?
Yes, I’m finding it way less intense so far — unless the transfer doesn’t take. Then the second round — probably in March — becomes way more intense. Also, I’m finding myself thinking about the money more. That’s another post within itself, but it’s one thing to spend a ton of money achieving the first baby. With the second baby you start feeling like you’re taking money out of Baby #1’s college fund to pay for Baby #2. It’s weird, but again too much to go into. Maybe that will by my February IVF blog…