Oh It’s Tuesday: In Defense of the Indefensible – My Prejudice Against Old People
So I don’t usually come out in favor of prejudice and I try not to make generalizations about any group. But there is one prejudiced generalization that I will support to the day I get my AARP card: don’t under any circumstances get in line behind an old person.
It doesn’t matter if the other line has three people in it and the old person’s line only has one. Chances are that between the check-writing, the insistence on reviewing and then sometimes disputing the items on their receipt and the aggressive chattiness, you will come to (perhaps unfairly) really dislike old people as a whole while waiting in line behind just one of them.
And I hate disliking whole groups, so I always go out of my way not to get in line behind old people. CH is older than me and should have learned the same by now, but apparently he hadn’t because on Sunday, after shopping for several essentials at Rite Aid, he got in line behind an old couple who seemed to be halfway through their purchase.
Without a second thought I got in line behind a thin man, wearing high-waisted jeans with a thick black belt who had gotten to the counter just before I stepped in line behind him. He was rather unfashionable, yes, and had just started his transaction, sure. But here’s the thing: he wasn’t old, so I was fairly certain that I would get to the front of my line before CH got to the front of his.
And the battle was on.
The old people did not pull out a check book. I can only assume this is because Rite Aid doesn’t accept checks. But then it seemed to take them awhile to figure out the credit machine. Advantage me. But then my guy asked for a pack of cigarettes halfway through his purchase. Advantage CH.
The old people after going back and forth in a foreign language that was not Spanish finally figured out the machine. The cashier printed out their receipt. My guy was only halfway through his person. CH made eye contact with me and jerked his head to indicate that I should get into his line.
But I have faith in my deeply-held prejudices. I stayed where I was. And sure enough, the couple entered into an extensive review of their receipt. And lo and behold, they had a problem with it. By the time the woman went to see for herself whether the item in dispute was really that much, my guy had finished his transaction and was shuffling out the door in his high-waisted pants. CH, soundlessly defeated, joined me in my line, where we also managed to check out before the old people had completed their transaction.
All I’m saying is don’t get in line behind old people — I mean like ever — unless you want your innocence ruined like poor CH’s.
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omg, it's TRUE. i always manage to get in line behind the worst folks.
Don't drive behind them either.
Also, don't drive behind them. Or to the side of them. Or in front of them.
Nor should you work somewhere where you have to sell things to them, especially food items.
If you can avoid having them as a neighbor, that would help, too.
If you need to get any shopping done, aim for after 8pm. They all seem to be home by then and you won't get stuck behind them in line, or in the aisles for that matter.
Why, yes, I do live surrounded by retirement communities in Arizona. How could you tell?
i love old people, im sorry but i do. And when you all are old and decrepit then im sure that you will all have a better appretiation for old people. Go old people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg, it's TRUE. i always manage to get in line behind the worst folks.
Don't drive behind them either.
Also, don't drive behind them. Or to the side of them. Or in front of them.
Nor should you work somewhere where you have to sell things to them, especially food items.
If you can avoid having them as a neighbor, that would help, too.
If you need to get any shopping done, aim for after 8pm. They all seem to be home by then and you won't get stuck behind them in line, or in the aisles for that matter.
Why, yes, I do live surrounded by retirement communities in Arizona. How could you tell?
i love old people, im sorry but i do. And when you all are old and decrepit then im sure that you will all have a better appretiation for old people. Go old people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!