Oh, It’s Tuesday: The Results
So, I’ve been going back and forth with myself about how to tell you guys this, but I found out at 2:30pm yesterday that I’m pregnant.
Of course this was proceeded by a nearly sleepless night, followed by a paralyzing fear that kept me in bed until Monique was able to talk me into getting up and driving to my fertility doctor’s office for a blood test.
“Did you cheat?” asked the nurse that took my blood.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I had forgotten to take my progesterone a couple of times, maybe that’s what she meant.
“Did you take a home pregnancy test?”
“I thought about it, but the internet said I could get a false positive or a false negative, because of the IVF, and I couldn’t. I just have to know for sure.”
She nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s better if you don’t cheat.” And that made me wonder about the women who had, the ones that had obviously come into the doctor’s office buoyed on hopes of positive home pregnancy tests, only to find out that they weren’t pregnant.
Later on this same nurse informed me that I was “very pregnant” and congratulated me. Then she told me I would need to come in on Thursday to make sure that my beta has doubled — which basically means to make sure that my pregnancy hormone has doubled. Apparently if it doesn’t, then that means that the pregnancy could be a chemical or ectopic — both dire scenarios.
So now I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Thursday. But according to Monique, that’s basically what pregnancy is, being really scared all the time that something’s going to be wrong or some test will come back negative. So unless you’ve got nerves of steel (which I don’t), it might just be the scariest thing you ever do.
Still, CH and I are very happy, excited and hopeful. But we’re also a little afraid to believe that it’s true, which I wasn’t prepared for. I did a lot of work towards being okay all the times that I found out that I wasn’t pregnant. And I was pretty sure that I’d be able to handle it if IVF didn’t work the first time. But I never really thought about how I would handle it, if it did.
Again, thanks so much to all of the friends, family and even strangers who supported us through this. We’re really looking forward to the next nine months, and even more so, to all of the years that come after it. Life feels so wide open right now.
100% Love,
etc
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